Hugh Hefner’s new twin girlfriends have an assault record (I’m aroused)

October 10th, 2008 // 104 Comments

Hugh Hefner has already found replacements for Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson. His two new ladies are twin sisters Karissa and Kristina Shannon (pictured on each side of Hugh.) But it turns out these two have a history of beating the living crap out of people and are BOTH on probation for a bar brawl in January, according to E! News:

The sisters were arrested in the early morning hours of Jan. 10 and booked on suspicion of felony aggravated battery, per arrest reports obtained by E! News. They were released from custody after posting $10,000 bonds and were later given probation and ordered to pay restitution for the incident, the details of which have not been determined just yet.
Prior to that run-in with the law, Karissa Shannon was arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor battery last November.

Well, at least they’re not dating a feeble old man with tons of cash laying around. Wait…

Photos: Splash News

  1. Parker

    By the way, Hugh who? I remember when I was little my grandfather told me he went to something called a Playboy club where women dressed as rabbits served drinks while men pinched their asses. Then one time in high school I saw a magazine called Playboy that had a few airbushed pictures of sometimes mostly naked empty-headed women, plus lots of ads for cheap cologne and stereo components. It’s true. I saw it.

  2. HuckyDucky


    Your trolls have been out in force the last 24 hours or so. Only one person I’ve seen has actually fallen for it.

  3. HuckyDucky


    Will you marry me?

  4. Steve-O

    Lol, this just gets better and better.

  5. yeah yeah

    #50 Give it a few weeks. They will be pumped full of silicone

  6. Ted from LA

    Please paste photos and video clips. Thanks in advance.

  7. vince

    Hef is the John McCain of sex. He was a valiant warrior for many decades, but it’s clearly time for a mercy killing.

  8. PunkA

    I’d call them c u m whores, but we all know that The Hef can’t deliver the juice anymore. So just plain old whore will have to do for them both now.

    It must be a nice jump going from the trailer park to the PB mansion. And to think, all they have to do is suck on and mount a small, wrinkly 82 year old cock. And this time it doesn’t belong to grandpappy. They must be in heaven.

  9. Joe C

    Those bitches aren’t that hot even with makeup. They look like average plain jane sacks. Hef’s standards are slipping badly. His hottest girlfriend ever was Barbie Benton. She’s an old bag now, but she was fine as hell back in her day.

  10. C Dub baby!!

    Just wait and watch….those twins are gonna turn on each other and beat each other for Hef *LOL*

    Death match…(not sure who my money is on jusss yet) hehe :)

  11. C Dub baby!!

    Just wait and watch….those twins are gonna turn on each other and beat each other for Hef *LOL*

    Death match…(not sure who my money is on jusss yet) hehe :)

  12. Wow

    These girls arent even fat nor chubby. Some people dont know what a gut is. Look up muffin top and see horrors you can only imagine ;_;

  13. pat

    Wonder what you guys plan on doing for sex when you’re 85. If you have the choice of making it with another 85 year old or a hot 19 year old, which one would you pick?

  14. pat

    These girls sure have tempers. If Hef is found beaten to death in his bed, these would be the first suspects.

  15. heck man

    Do they have to change his diapers on an hourly basis?

  16. cool

    I just realized those are painted on bra’s cool

  17. Kayle

    Ew, they are so unattractive. How could he go from Holly, Kendra, and Bridgette, to this. These girls make the old girlfriends look like super models.. I mean, when I think of classy, I think of those two… dang.. Yes, I am being sarcastic.

  18. Bri

    they are NOT fat by any means.. but as far as Hollywood and Playboy standards, I will have to agree that they need to hit the damn treadmill. One has much more of a protruding gut than the other though.

  19. hannah

    why do people really think that Hef is banging these girls? At 82 years old a sex-drive is bellow minimum, even with viagra its still going to be near impossible for him to have sex. He might have a heart attack…

    why are people so dumb as to think he actually bones them? I bet they fondle each other and it ends at that.

  20. Meep

    LOL those girls don’t have beer guts. WTF is wrong with you?

  21. teehee

    YUCK fat whores

  22. Nevermind all this nonsense, did anyone fingered her in the line up?

  23. kate

    Really? These 2? Hef, you’re rich man, you can do better then skanky stupid criminal hoes, who A. aren’t pretty B. Actually a downstep from holly and kendra C. stupid, really really stupid looking……Hugh heffner is just looking like an idiot now.

  24. heyjeer

    I’m amazed!

    They don’t have the prerequisite fake tits – yet!

    All “girlfriends” get something like $1K a week, free room and board, and all the plastic surgery they want.

    And Hef does like the fake titties on his granddaughters, I mean girlfriends, I mean hookers.

  25. lidsay

    What I say?!
    May December relationships are becoming more and more hot and attractive. You need to look no further than Hollywood to see the trend. Many of my friends successfully found their special someone on ===Agelessmate.c o m === It’s like a bridge, not only bridge the visible but invisible gap to bring people together~!

  26. Yank and Wank - they rhyme for a reason

    2 more prostitutes, only in America could prostitutes be celebs.

  27. IS THERE A PROBLEM, houston?

  28. IS THERE A PROBLEM, houston?

  29. spike

    Yeah, Leona. Trashy, full of make-up and orangey. Yuk!

  30. Thighhighs

    Liked the other girls better. These two are trashy as can be. Definitely miss Holly :(.

  31. heck man

    Hef is scraping the bottom of the trailer park for white trash. Next thing you know, his girlfriends will be LaShonda and ShaNayNay from the ghetto

  32. Bobeyo

    Who else thinks they look better in the mugshots than smothered in makeup? Especially shot #2. Lookin’ kinda pouty.

    I’d let them rough me up a bit.

  33. fo sho

    Dem be pot-bellied fugs.

  34. Seriously

    Florida? I’m not surprised. I defy you to name a NOT trashy woman that state has produced.

  35. el ces

    “Well, at least they’re not dating a feeble old man with tons of cash laying around.”

    Thats gold, bro!

    Ahh…the twins on those twins aren’t bad.

  36. el ces

    “Well, at least they’re not dating a feeble old man with tons of cash laying around. Wait…”

    Ahh, thats perfect!

    Still…the twins on those twins are nice.

  37. Alexandra

    The pudgier one is really cute.. the other one is fug.

  38. gigi

    my g-d white chicks need alot of makeup… [if those ashen beasts are supposed to be the be-painted hotties beforehence that is...] ughhhh disgusting – thank goodness for melanin & exoticness

  39. Arroyo

    I’m sure that they’re both very much in in love with Hef.

  40. Dorito Man

    Ew, ew, and ew.

  41. realist

    Downgrade. Every single one of the Girls Next Door is hotter, even Grandma Bridget. These girls couldn’t even make the magazine but Hef is ‘dating’ them. His stock has dropped. The thin one’s ok. Her fat sister needs to staple her mouth shut.

  42. dan the man

    will he die already. seriously i want to find and kill him. he looks like a god damn idiot. he must be insanely depressed……

  43. @92 I’ve wondered if he feels a bit empty.

    “And the girl at the grocery store, she might be my girlfriend, and that nice lady who brings me pudding and plays scrabble with me on Wednsdays, she might also be my girlfriend, too…”

  44. The man has no problem with that, folks.
    be honest: WHY SHOULD HE?

  45. Jeff

    Just remember: Slapping soon-to-be-ex boyfriends for saying and club bouncers for telling them to get off the speakers = assault / battery.

    Odds are these girls are just two spoiled brats who throw stuff and hit people when they don’t get their way.

  46. mimi

    I think Hef is kinda cute and I would not mind being with him.

  47. slapette

    ha! classy as usual, Hef.

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  49. Gross. Those two girls look underage, are packing the freshman 15 and are wearing too much of mommy’s makeup. This is why Playboy is nearly bankrupt (and Suicidegirls are kicking ass). The “Playboy look” is so outdated.

  50. Heffner is a man-child.

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