Hugh Hefner’s new twin girlfriends have an assault record (I’m aroused)

October 10th, 2008 // 104 Comments

Hugh Hefner has already found replacements for Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson. His two new ladies are twin sisters Karissa and Kristina Shannon (pictured on each side of Hugh.) But it turns out these two have a history of beating the living crap out of people and are BOTH on probation for a bar brawl in January, according to E! News:

The sisters were arrested in the early morning hours of Jan. 10 and booked on suspicion of felony aggravated battery, per arrest reports obtained by E! News. They were released from custody after posting $10,000 bonds and were later given probation and ordered to pay restitution for the incident, the details of which have not been determined just yet.
Prior to that run-in with the law, Karissa Shannon was arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor battery last November.

Well, at least they’re not dating a feeble old man with tons of cash laying around. Wait…

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Dave

    i heard they beat kimbo slice also! 1st

  2. Lee

    They look totally different without make up on…sweet….I’m not saying they’re not hot…just sayin’…must have had it set on whore. (Simpson’s quote, FYI)

  3. baxi69

    That’s hot! An assult record. Oh how heaven must feel to have these incredible twins pounding, squeezing, smothering and kicking my body around. WOW.

  4. Mary

    Lee–perhaps they used their cold cream gun? LOVE classic Simpsons quotes!

  5. Mary

    Lee–perhaps they used their cold cream gun? LOVE classic Simpsons!

  6. Leona

    Trashy and full of makeup. :)

  7. Jackson

    All worthless no talent whores have skeletons in their closet just like Kim Kardaskank!

  8. annie

    time for them to hit the gym
    theyve got a bigger beer gut than Homer Simpson.
    not cute at all
    just 2 white trash bitches.
    nuttin special.

  9. Jean-mi

    Wow, Makeup is really magical, they can turn ordinary ugly ass proactiv-needing criminal hos into playboy material (oh that and a LOT of airbrushing)

  10. PunkA

    These twins are not all that attractive, to be honest. Go to any college football game in the south and you’ll see thousands of chicks way hotter than these two. Of course, if they bang Hef together, I am sure their parents would have to be very proud of how they raised these girls. Since it is normal for 19 year old to make to make it with 82 year old limp dicks. Losers.

  11. sameshitdifferentyear

    They have nice belly buttons.

  12. I was wondering when Hugh was going to launch his new girlfriends. Just a matter of time before we start carrying sex toys named after them. (I run a sex toy company, hence the joke). LOL

  13. Jane

    Nice to see he’s still giving alcohol to minors.

  14. @8 Jealous annie?

  15. jesse

    I read a blurb about this today and assumed the twins were black.

  16. Sid

    #15 – nah, Hef’s downward slide hasn’t gone that far. Yet.

  17. Zee Brat

    They’re naked and covered in paint in that photo. Is that really SFW?

  18. Hef's black girlfriend

    I-ba want-ba to-ba be-ba in-ba Playboy-ba!

  19. jrz

    Is….that……….Tara Reid on the right?

    Why?

  20. jrz

    Is….that……….Tara Reid on the right?

    Why?

  21. Jrz

    I stuttered.

  22. Brooke

    Guuuuuuuttttt.

    Fatties.

  23. Rough semi-involuntary sex is always hot, but with these two it’d be awesome. They’re big and mean and violent, and their tears at the end would be so sweet.

  24. @23 That is pretty good troll. Did yo make that all up by yourself or did you read that some where?

  25. panda

    they can beat me all the time

  26. Eric

    Kim K. should take note – you can have a big fat ass, but it doesn’t have to be hairy and smelly too.

  27. havoc

    Twins Basil, twins!

    .

  28. It was in your dad’s diary, about you and your mom.

  29. Hefner is a pervert

    As far as I am concerned this old Ashkenazi is a child molestor. Just saying as they say.

  30. You are pretty funny troll.

  31. French guy nailing your girlfriend

    “As far as I am concerned this old Ashkenazi is a child molestor.”

    Only in America. You have many, many young girls who look like hardened pros.

  32. Why does he insist on keeping this charade going?

  33. supersex

    damn i so fucking jealous

  34. George "Dubya" Bush

    Golly gee, ‘ol Hef’s looking mighty “erectificated” with those two honeys flanking him on both sides. Eighty-five years young and still burying his “nookillur” missle in those hot young silos…man, that’s the life!

    On another note, our economy is strong and we’re all gonna get through this?

  35. whatevs yall they dont look that bad in their mugshots, thats worth somethin

  36. Pylon

    Are those…nipples on the chick on the right…?
    A man can dream hopefully

  37. andy

    I agree with #35. Their mug shots look like they’re ready for a little hair-pulling doggiestyle @ 2am. They seem to be pretty good show-up-at-midnight fuck buddies, high on alcohol, drugs, and running over a pedestrian on the way over. That’s good for a lot of orgasms.

  38. FTW

    No boobs, big beer guts at 19 years old, this is what a playboy bunny looks like now? No wonder the company is tanking!!!

  39. yeah yeah

    Sorry, but it just seems pathetic to know that these whores are only after you for your money. Otherwise, they’d rather jump into a volcano than suck his shriveled smelly genitals

  40. Cindy

    Actually I admire Hef – he’ll accept whatever tramps who are willing to lick his revolting shriveled saggy varicose-veins-bagged balls. Just like all you fake-macho hairy beer-bellied losers talk tough here but will glad accept any action you get from girls twice as fat as the blob on the right.

  41. Damn lucky old bastard…

    I hate him and want to fuck his girlfriends.

  42. Ted from LA

    Hugh must not have one person in the world who loves him. If he did, they would say, “What in the fuck are you doing? You look like a complete idiot.”

  43. Vince Lombardi

    Check out those mugshots. Those two have got frikkin’ MUSTACHES for eyebrows. It looks like they waxed away about 3/4ths of their forehead to get those brows down to something manageable. Daiyummm.

  44. Vince Lombardi

    @36

    All three are topless wearing latex body paint.

  45. Mark

    Trashy white whores are fun to fuck – once, when you’re both drunk and horny and the cute girl spilled the drink you put the roofie in – but man, afterward they cut the rankest farts on earth.

  46. adeliza

    At least they are “real ” women. They don’t have insanely ridiculous, nose jobs, collagen injections, or boob jobs. I’d forgotten what it was like to see real women any more.

  47. Susan

    I know that I always wanted to get naked together with my sister and watch her take a cumshot in the face and mouth.

  48. I’m just a naive, small-town guy from the tundra north of Toronto and all this Hefner stuff confuses me. Could someone please explain what the term “girlfriend” means in the context of Hugh Hefner. I mean, they’re not really doing it with him, are they? I feel like this is some sort of in-joke that everyone but me knows about.

  49. Vince Lombardi

    @47

    I’ve always wanted that, too, Susan. Your sister is HOT!

  50. Ethan

    Their boobs look natural. How novel for Hugh Hefner.

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