Hugh Hefner confirmed that Holly Madison is no longer in the market for old man love. Things went south when it was discovered that Hugh couldn’t father a child at 82. Honestly, I don’t know who saw that coming. (Besides everyone.) E! News reports:
The Playboy mogul says the relationship started to crumble about six months ago when they learned he was unable to father a child with Holly.
“With my sperm count, it’s not possible,” Hefner explained. “I was willing but it was not possible…She’d like to be married and have children, but it’s not in the cards here for me.”
Hugh also confirmed that Kendra Wilkinson will be gone by the end of the year. But shed not a tear, my friends, the Hugh has back-ups:
In the last week, he’s been spotted with 19-year-old twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon. “They very much want to be girlfriends and now under the present circumstance, they probably will become my girlfriends,” Hefner says.
And they’re not all he has to look forward to.
A college senior from Georgia whom Hefner identifies as Amy Leigh Andrews is also waiting in the wings. “She was testing here this past weekend,” Hef says of the centerfold wannabe, “and she said she’d like to be a girlfriend, too.”
The 82-year-old Hefner laughed, “I’m dancing as fast as I can.”
I can’t help but wonder if, deep down, Hugh wanted Holly Madison to leave. Sure, his sperm count is low, but it’s not like he couldn’t have scrounged some up to pass as his own. For God sakes, he lives in the Playboy Mansion! And, frankly, anyone’s swimmers would’ve been preferable to Criss Angel’s. I’m talking Pauly Shore, the kid who plays McLovin’ or even a blood relative of Holly’s. She’d never know the difference. (Provided the vial is wrapped in twenties.)
THAT’S THE CRUCIAL POINT IN RELATIONSHIPS, folks!!
“They very much want to be girlfriends and now under the present circumstance, they probably will become my girlfriends,” Hefner says.
WTF? What is he, in 8th grade? Christ old dude, give it up – you were THE MAN in the 1960′s, but come on, any guy can dial up better porn on line at no charge than waste $$ buying a Playboy for pix of digitally enhanced tarts with IQ’s lower than a bar of soap.
“…will become my girlfriends.” What’s that mean, Hef? That they feed you strained beets while you talk about the “good old days” of coppin’ a feel off of Jayne Mansfield?
Hugh Hefner is one of the skeeviest, grossest people around. Even talking about having 19 year old girlfriends is grotesque. I can’t wait for him to FINALLY die. And, yes, these women are concubines and nothing more…forget this girlfriend shit. They cast a bad light on women everywhere as money-grubbing whores. Yech.
Hugh needs to read our article on low sperm count and how to increase it, then he would know it is all those frequent ejaculations causing it!
listen to me.
puffin is a handsome man, with a heart of gold.
some of us would ENJOY not having to fork up $28 bucks a month at planned parenthood. GOD, holly. youre such a bitch.
All the viagra in the world couldn’t keep this feeble old fellow erect. Hef is hovering near dementia. His poor penis has to rest on its laurels………….
oh for fuk sake!!! Hef isnt bangin these chicks, how the fuck could they I mean can you honestly imagine Kendra enjoyin an old wrinkly body on top of her banging her its all a sham to boost his ego and image
Wow money can buy a women with no morals ,what a surprise. How cheap can they be? Or expensive?
Wow money can buy a women with no morals ,what a surprise. How cheap can they be? Or expensive? Old man sex UGGHHH
I have plenty sperm here for all white blond dumb girls from US, and abroad. Too bad they are lousy chicks while doing sex… too clumsy… too boring… Heff show play ball here where the girls are hot and if he need some crem, he just have to squeeze my balls… gently … OL
This is just another jew living off pornography and vice.
Soon, they will come for your daughters.
Yeah, but only ho’s would want to have sex with an old fart who needs a dripbag of viagra just to keep his johnson raised.
It’s time for the pasture for this old dog. Too bad he won’t have an intelligent companion to talk about old times with — but hey, that’s what the old coon wanted.
Yeah, but only ho’s would want to have sex with an old fart who needs a dripbag of viagra just to keep his johnson raised.
It’s time for the pasture for this old dog. Too bad he won’t have an intelligent companion to talk about old times with — but hey, that’s what the old coon wanted.