Hugh Hefner wants Miley Cyrus in Playboy – when she’s legal

May 9th, 2008 // 66 Comments

Hugh Hefner apparently enjoyed the Miley Cyrus bare-back photos so much, that he wants to see what’s underneath the sheet. When she’s 18, of course. I mean, c’mon, Hugh’s not some dirty old man. He’s more like, oh I dunno, Jesus. Here’s the details from Extra:

“Certainly she’d be welcome to the magazine. She’s a very pretty lady.”
As for the drama caused by Cyrus’ VF shoot? “To make such a big to-do over something as innocent as those photos — I think it’s a reflection of how schizophrenic America is about sexuality.”

Hugh, old chum, I disagree with you on Americans being schizophrenic about getting freaky. Just because sometimes sex is awesome, then bad, then interrupting my video games, then super cool, then something I cry during, doesn’t mean all of us in the colonies have wacky views on the no-pants dance. If I need to build a castle out of LEGOs before knocking boots, that’s perfectly healthy. Unless my lady friend uses up all the gray pieces first. Then she might as well call a taxi and get the heck out because I’m a man of principles, dammit.

Photo: Vanity Fair
superficial

  1. Sandi

    FIRST
    MILEY IS A WHORE

  2. newlysingle girl(fuck)

    he should die already.

  3. Ted Mosby

    Hugh wants to hit that.

  4. Why? She is not good looking and she’d probably insist on having her hill-billy daddy in the pics too!

  5. meanmofo

    Hef, put your boner away pervboy!

  6. I’m only schitzophrenic when I don’t get enough sex..

  7. will

    Americans Schizophrenic about sex???? Good god, Americans are known for sleeping with anybody and everybody!

  8. will

    Americans Schizophrenic about sex???? Good god, Americans are known for sleeping with anybody and everybody!

  9. havoc

    Hef’s getting a little creepy actually……

  10. veggi

    Naw, will. I think you’re thinking of Mike and goats and microwaved bologna..

    anyway, didn’t Hugh want the Olsens to pose as well?? Poor senile bastard. He’d probably put a goat in a dress on the cover if Mike didn’t keep it so busy..

  11. Sara

    Pedophile!!!!

  12. WTF

    When her bubble gum music career starts dwindling then she will pose for PB!

  13. Auntie Kryst

    Nice save there Hef! Satan just extended your contract for 2 more years..

  14. I find it quite amazing that Mr. Hefner remains STD free to this day

  15. Hugh is so old he farts dust.

  16. Grantboy

    I made a pocket pooter out of LEGOS and astroglide

  17. It’s simple: we want to fuck our daughters when they’re 15. So we try very hard to not even think about it. Then pictures like these make us think about it. Then we have that dream again. Then our wives say “what’s wrong, honey” and we punch them. So: don’t publish these types of pictures.

  18. Nooooooo

    NO I DN’T WANT HER IN PLAYBOY.
    Hefner’s gone senile? JUST LOOK AT HER! NOT HOT.

  19. Necromancy nothing Fancy

    That pervert called her a very pretty Lady? How old is she and why is he even thinking about it?
    We sure like to prostitute everything we can for a buck in this country.

  20. Magical Tits

    Dear Superficial Writer,

    After reading your witty comments and knowing of your pecs of steel and gigantic penis, I would like to propose marriage. I will totally get you a special edition X-box 360, cook waffles naked, and NOT touch the gray LEGOS pieces. Whadda ya say?

  21. Hopefully the Playboy shoot will recreate the daddy spread-legs pictures of Miley and Billy Ray, but completely nude this time. Plus maybe she can turn around and pretend she’s singing into his microphone.

  22. viv

    lego my eggo…bitch.

  23. Hef’s I-don’t-give-a-fuck-about-your-stupid-blanket-insecurities for the win!!!

    Oh, that, and Hef’s please-summon-the-FBI-to-the-Playboy-Mansion-for-a-full-audit for the runner-up!

  24. disturbia

    He needs to get her in playboy NOW!! I would pay 200 dollars for that issue and sit in my closet wanking for months on end.

    P.S. Hugh is a God. He brought porn from a disturbing ritual only used by freaks to an acceptable public display. Hugh Bless America!

  25. Mary

    Playboy has become a joke now. Its all about Celeberties posing naked it seems like….. They always want to jump on the “scandal” bandwagon..Liike look at the Lindsay Lohan Marilyn tribute photo shoot…The wanted a piece of that nasty pie to….Puthetic!

  26. iamanass

    @25. You spelled pathetic wrong.

  27. andie

    Sick dude. That guy has serious issues. Pretty lady? Fifteen year old girls are not ladies. They’re GIRLS and he’s a nut job.

    He’s just yucky. *shudder*

  28. andie

    LOL@15

    I’m so going to use that.

  29. abdo

    Old man..could you just do us all a favor and DIE!!!!!

  30. Miley is fine

    Miley Cyrus is already past her prime. She’s not that cute, but she’s got a great body. As long as she didn’t say a goddamn word, that’d be fine.

    Here’s a hacker site where the pics of her phone were first posted: http://www.blacksnake.com

  31. pat

    Naturally he’d be glad to have anybody reasonably attractive and famous in his magazine. That’s how you sell magazines. You can’t just keep repeating the same silicone clones over and over.

  32. General Tao

    “Very pretty lady”? It’s probably not very kind to blast a 15-year-old, but have you seen her mouth? She looks like she got slammed in the face with a frying pan. A very ugly frying pan.

    The body is acceptable. If you like pre-pubescent boys.

  33. mytwocents

    Isn’t it inappropriate for a 15 year old to take her shirt off in front of people .

    That is the part I dont get , maybe she was wearing pants during the pic ok sure then ok her dad is there ok sure but at what point do ya think hey this is getting weirder, the part where they say

    ok now take off your shirt and your bra and just drape this in front
    ok now thats where it just got not normal its NOT normal or ok i dont care what liberal people say

    15 years old honestly never in my life would i understand guys who were hitting on girls borderline 18 but i mean look at her all half naked and makeup and hairrrr all glam i would never in a million years know she was 15 ok ..

    even before this she was wearing dresses so short u could almost see her butt.

    I was barely able to wear a dress to the knee when i was her age and i’m only 2 6 now so it wasn’t that long ago

    That pic with her dad too WEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRD

    they are full of you know what

  34. Corlyss

    I don’t think Hef used the correct mental illness to describe America and sex. Americans, individually, usually don’t have a problem with sex. They like it, they like doing it, but…. they don’t like talking about it in groups because of the taboo the media has put on it. And the only reason the media has put this taboo on it is because the “majority” of American are Christian. Christians, if I made add, have gone about sex all wrong for-fucking-ever, which is why we have the highest rate of underage pregnancies and STDs.

    Hef has the right idea. Proposition girls that will generate the most money and the most controversy, because it means publicity. I doubt he’s even paying attention to who’s hot right now, and has a slew of paid people beneath him (no pun intended) to do the grunt work for him. He just adds his smiling, aging face, and says a few words, and bam! Magazines sell and boners are poppin’.

    Hell, it’s only been more recently in our rule of the Earth that 15 has been too young. Girls were married off as soon as they were menstruating. The only reason such isn’t happening now is because we’re living longer and because parents have become too damned obsessive with protecting their children which, in most cases, fucks them up and doesn’t teach them how to handle the real world once they leave that precious little nest of overbearing, overprotective bullshit.

    Anyone who has a problem with this, other than the “she’s not hot” argument, needs to get a serious, full out fucking. That will easy the tension and make you much less of a pussy.

  35. Corlyss

    #33: That’s because when you were her age, it wasn’t the fashion for 15 yr olds to wear such. Now it’s trend and it’s what the kids are being allowed to wear by their parents.

    Blame the parents for their awful raising of their children.

  36. sanctified

    Hefner will probably be dead before this girl is legal age.

  37. Dolemite

    she’s not a virgin

  38. THAT_GIRL_JENN

    WHITE MEN ALL WANT SKINNY WOMEN!

    IF she gained 10 lbs i bet he would dismiss her!

  39. Hardington

    She’s a lean, mean, Discordian Princess machine. Do it, girl, do it for your fans, do it for yourself, do it for us. Annie and Loveshade have treated you well. Do what you feel, do what you like. Just do it.

  40. zuzuspetals

    Mmmm- nothing is sexier than the thought of a 100 year-old man who is patiently waiting for a 15 year-old to become legal so he can take nude photos of her.
    So I’m not really sure why I feel like I have to vomit every time I read Hugh Hefner’s name.
    Maybe it’s because he’s the mastermind behind the Hooter’s/Maxim magazine/Girls Gone Wild/idiot celebutard/flat-ironed hair and fake orange tan aesthetic, and, by extension, the mastermind behind everything that is fucked up about feminine sexuality and female self-image in the Western world.
    While he’s looking forward to seeing nude photos of Miley, I’m looking forward to seeing photos of his gravestone.

  41. zuzuspetals

    Mmmm- nothing is sexier than the thought of a 100 year-old man who is patiently waiting for a 15 year-old to become legal so he can take nude photos of her.
    So I’m not really sure why I feel like I have to vomit every time I read Hugh Hefner’s name.
    Maybe it’s because he’s the mastermind behind the Hooter’s/Maxim magazine/Girls Gone Wild/idiot celebutard/flat-ironed hair and fake orange tan aesthetic, and, by extension, the mastermind behind everything that is fucked up about feminine sexuality and female self-image in the Western world.
    While he’s looking forward to seeing nude photos of Miley, I’m looking forward to seeing photos of his gravestone.

  42. MILEY IS A COOL AWESOME GIRL LAST YEAR SHE WAS SWEET GIRL BUT NOW I DONT KNOW SHE CHANGE.BUTWHAN I READ THE MAGAZIN I SAID WOW .THIS PHTOT IS FAKE. MILEY IS SWEET GIRL. SHE STEL IS OK!!!! AND KEEP ROCK IN MILEY I LIVE SEATTLE I AM HER BIEEST FAN

  43. Re: zuzuspetals

    Well done.

  44. L.Linus

    #37 said it right, Hefner will probably be dead before this gal get to the legal age. Playboy is a joke and the fakeness that is involved with him being 82 years old with three gals old enough to be his great grand daughters. It’s all about the money for these gals and I don’t blame them for getting as much as they can from this old freak!!

  45. Let me say this clear:
    THIS IS AN HONOUR YOU CAN’T REFUSE!!

  46. Cara

    What a pig! She’s not even 16 and he’s considering to nail her!
    But, then again, who’d want that? She looks like a rabbit!

  47. justifiable

    #43 Take your fucking finger off Caps Lock and buy a vowel. And a consonant. And some punctuation. And some brains.

  48. eliana

    Miley Cyrus is apologizing for those topless photos of her in Vanity Fair. What are we going to see next week–Dakota Fanning showing some leg in Tiger Beat? Right? Is that even a magazine anymore? Who even knows? Bam! http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/hugh_hefner_wants_miley_cyrus.php#comment

  49. malicious

    #41 you said it sister!

  50. This whole thing is blown out of proportion if you ask me. Yes it’s not right that she took the pics (but if you ask me, topless and everything, the pics Annie L. took of her were harmless, compared to the ones she took herself showing her bra and with ‘sex face’), however, its a FUCKING BARE BACK!!! Please people, we see more of them when they go to the beach in a bikini (soon enough you guys will be outlawing that as well)
    As for Mr. Hefner, its all marketing… he doesnt know who the hell Hannah Montana is but knowing that theres a big scandal about it obviously would cause a reaction in him like that… If you check the response in quotes, its nothing more than him responding to “Mr Hefner, would you like Miley in PB”.
    On the other hand we are talking about an 80 something year old man who claims he has three girlfriends.. but if we get real, we all know he only has one… have you ever seen him getting as close two Kendra and Bridget as much as Holly? Holly is the only one who doesnt have a separate bedroom. Its just a scam.. He has the other two girls there for image only… What would you think if the creator of Playboy wasnt a Playboy himself? Of course he has to at least pretend to have more than one girl, if not other guys wouldnt admire him as much.
    Its mostly women who think hes disgusting

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