Hugh Hefner putting an end to parties at Playboy Mansion (Pauly Shore’s schedule now wide open)

August 13th, 2008 // 57 Comments

Sad news today. Hollywood is about to lose one of its trademark staples: Parties at the Playboy Mansion. Talk about the end of an era. Of course, some say that era ended the last time Hugh Hefner had an erection (See: Reagan Administration), but let’s show a little respect for a man whose dedication to breasts is dwarfed only by that of my own. True story. FOX News reports:

After decades and decades of wild nights, we hear Hef is calling it a day and that Playboy Enterprises has decided that this party and the upcoming annual Halloween party will be the last that the magazine mogul personally throws as a means to cut costs.
A rep from the men’s mag kept mum on the murmurs, saying: “Who knows what will happen in a year from now?”

Allow me to take a stab: Boner pill-related myocardial infarction. I win!


  1. booooooooobies

    and a fugly olg man

  2. ktb

    As long as the Girls Next Door is still on and the magazine shows up in the mail old man!

  3. rough daddy

    this doesnt affect me one bit,,, never been on their guestlist…

  4. Anonymous

    shame but the last party should be one to remember

  5. did the men who look up to this man know that

    In 1971, Hefner has acknowledged, he experimented in bisexuality

    How do ya like them apples boys? Or should I say nuts.

  6. Who's Horny?

    As soon as Hef’s magazine is no longer turning a real profit or his mansion is no longer the center of attention, his whores will realize there is no reason for them to hang around. Of course, odds are Hef will be dead before his magazine closes down even though I’ve read their subscriptions have been taking a nose-dive the last few years.

  7. Harry

    So where will athletes, actors, and musicians go to score quick pussy? Is this why Owen Wilson tried to kill himself?

    Seeing as how Playboy sells about 5 copies a month now, I’m shocked they’ve been throwing these parties as long as they have.

  8. Don’t care…nothing to do with me one bit

  9. The gods are cruel I tell you!

  10. rough daddy

    #5 so what does that mean? what are you trying to say?

  11. literarycritic

    Yeah, it’s because they’re trying to “cut costs.”

    Not because Hef is a hundred and twelve.

    On a related side note, I’m impressed that the Fish writer knows what a myocardial infarction is. Go Fish! You’re more literate than I thought!

  12. bah

    Those skanks on his arm are mediocre at best, they look old too. Accept it dude your time is over.

    I bet he has the worst old man smell ever.

  13. Turd Ferguson

    Cost cutting tips:

    1) Stop buying bleach by the truckload for the skanks.
    2) Stop buying viagra by the case.
    3) Go back to just wearing a smoking jacket 24/7.
    4) Make some of those bleach-blonde skanks stay with me for a while …please?

  14. mike jones

    duuuuuude, LOOK AT THAT GIRLS TOES

  15. nothin

    #10. I have no problem with it, but many of the homophobic alpha males who think this guy is a god might be freaked out by it. That’s all.

    It would be stupid of anyone to think that a man this into sexual freedom wouldn’t have experimented, but people are stupid.

  16. Ted from LA

    I only get Playboy for the articles.

  17. Sam

    Cutting down costs? What’s he blowing his money on, gold-trimmed Depends?

  18. Deacon Jones

    I betcha that cunt Holly is behind this.

    Well, hopefully Kendra goes into porn, she’s the only hot one out of these 3

  19. Bethany

    Hef’s just getting a little concerned that the wrong type of guy is doing the date-raping at his parties these days.

  20. veggi

    Supposedly there have been some significant thefts at his recent parties. But this seems like a huge over-reaction – all he needs to do is keep the n’iggers out.

  21. Danny

    Hugh Who? WTF cares about him, anyway? It’s about time he did a Bob Hope.

  22. norton

    Pathetic. Old. Man.

  23. KD

    Jason Statham laughs.

  24. dfdfsdf

    6, “As soon as Hef’s magazine is no longer turning a real profit or his mansion is no longer the center of attention, his whores will realize there is no reason for them to hang around.”

    They already realize it. His “girlfriends” are contracted and paid to live with him.

  25. mlm

    who cares! The whole thing is disgusting anyway.

  26. biatch

    just got off work at the nursing home… a 97 yr old alzhiemer’s patient was screaming nonsense, so I went to check on him. Well, he had taken his shit filled diaper off and was lying there spread eagle jerking off using his own excrement as lubricant. Have a pleasant day, office workers.

  27. I wonder if the Strikeforce event is still on

  28. Ryan

    Sorry, but I’ve been distracted . . .

    What’s with the toes of the woman on the photo left? They look a bit pointed!

  29. dragon43078

    Be honest, every man would love to be in his place. He has what every man dreamed about. Nake dbroads, sex, money, more sex, titties bouncing everywhere and 3 girlfriends at the same time. Respect and envy.

  30. Joe

    All you celebrities and naked hookers get off my lawn.

  31. Steve

    There’s a party there on the 23rd, another on the 30th, another on the 6th. The mansion will keep on rockin’, just not with parties hosted by “Playboy Enterprises”

  32. Jason Statham

    I hit them both!

  33. Toejammn'

    Big yawn.

  34. Frybread

    America’s biggest pimp is hangin up the fedora, huh? Now where will actors and rock stars go to get laid?

  35. lawrenc

    I am reading a blog related to this at where I found some celebs’ profiles ovre there. Amazing!!!

  36. babymurmur

    The most clever use of the term myocardial infarction I’ve ever heard! Kudos, titmonger!

  37. babymurmur

    The most clever use of the term myocardial infarction I’ve ever heard! Kudos, titmonger!

  38. The last party needs to be a huge celeb orgy just to make it go out with a bang, this is a shame though, I mean what will Bridget have to dress up for now?

  39. WOW and I really always wanted to go to one of the Halloween Parties
    at the Playboy mansion! I guess its too late now.giggles
    The Girl’s Next Door show really is a lot of fun, at least they are enjoying

  40. bonespur

    Hey #26…

    Is that wrong?

  41. Gotstheherp

    Just wait until ‘ol Hef dies and the stories that will finally come out about him will kill his rep overnight. The broads wont talk while he’s alive, but when he’s dead and their money train is 100% cut off with no chance of coming back, all the chicks from his past will talk. The bi stuff is all true. He pimps the willing playmates out as high priced hookers to Arabs overseas. He’s a miserable person, Etc. It will be a hoot.

  42. o.k. now, HOLLY WINS!!

  43. HelioMobile

    He is finally getting the point that STOCKS are plummeting and Playboy SUCKS. He lost millions last year so now he is balancing his check book. No more expensive parties, No more big trips. Porn contracts will be at a minimal this next Quarter.

  44. Ben

    Maybe if he got some quality chicks back into the magazine, and not the generic cheap shit there’s been in it for the last while. Also get some more half decent celebrities in it. If he restores a bit of class (I know a bit of an oxymoron when talking about a nude magazine) to the magazine, I think sales would pick up.

  45. Kirk

    Hey give this man his dues. You’ll be old one day too and you’ll wish you had 1/100 of the pussy and money this guy’s been through. So go back to wanking on your internet pics.

  46. roop

    The perfect end to the final party at the Playboy Mansion would be Hef clutching his chest and falling face first into the STD-infested grotto pool.

  47. Ben

    Just read on a different site, that a P.R. person for playboy denies that the parties are coming to an end.

  48. El Ces

    Hmm…I’m sure I like the looks of this. What with celebs dropping like flies this year.

  49. El Ces

    Ahem, I’m sure I DON’T like the looks of it.

  50. anyone know how we could get tickets to the playboy Halloween party
    hit us up.giggles

Leave A Comment