Here’s Hugh Hefner clearly having the time of his life at his 83rd birthday party last night. I took the liberty of adding captions to each of these photos so you guys can experience the joy of being an octogenarian surrounded by fake-breasted money-grubbing whores. What can I say? I’m a giver.
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Courteney Cox's Shocking Confession About Her Sex Life – Huffington Post |
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| Skinny Star in a Bikini Talks About Being Anorexic – Evil Beet Gossip | |
| Sasha Grey keeps doing it for the kids. – TMZ | |
| Kate Middleton Steps Out On Her Own – Lainey Gossip |
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PunkA | April 7, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Last I checked Viagra may keep you up all night, just not awake all night. Hef needs a nap. And adult diapers. He is done. Put a fork in him.
marketingwiz | April 7, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Unfortunately, Hugh Hefner has become a parody of himself. What a shame.
matt | April 7, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Ok, fine. Show me another 83 year old guy who’s having more fun.
Vintage ROUGH | April 7, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Why does he feel the need to keep that playboy image going? but that is a sure way to go man! being encircle by hot whores…
GuyHolly | April 7, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Could you image listeing to Kendra for all those years. That would make anyone tired for the next decade.
. | April 7, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Whores? WTF SW?
Savalas | April 7, 2009 at 12:47 pm
At my grandfather’s 83rd birthday, his 3 children and his 8 grandchildren had dinner at his house and sang happy birthday to him.
Was it all worth it, Hef?
Vintage ROUGH | April 7, 2009 at 12:50 pm
I maybe able to help Hef, if he cant get it up for the dark skin chick…
Laughing idiot | April 7, 2009 at 12:50 pm
“Wake me when it’s time for intercourse. Or soup. I like soup”
I peed a thimbleful.
Zanna | April 7, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I am SO updating my Deadpool picks.
@ 9- now you smell like Hef.
TMI | April 7, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Hef’s had a great life. He should relax and be honest about what his life is like now. Forget the “hot babes” because they’ve become garish as he’s lost his sex drive, which used to point him (so to speak) in the direction of the most attractive girls. Now they’re like the clothes that old people wear – for some reason, always way too loud and cheap-looking. He should admit that these days, sex isn’t what give him please. Now it’s bowel movements. The best days are when he has a really nice one: not too big, not too hard, but substantial enough, and soft enough to fall out without too much straining, but not so soft that it looks like diarrhea’s cousin in the bowl, and requires endless wiping with a painfully arthritic hand, followed by the hated soft-feces/excessive-toilet paper mixture that forms a toilet-plugging softball. And 9 times out of 10, the toilet overflows, scattering the now partially disintegrated fecal logs over the floor, where their peanut-flecks catch the light in a nauseating constellation (centered on Uranus, naturally).
So that’s what on Hef’s mind, and it sure does show these days.
smarg | April 7, 2009 at 12:57 pm
He’s jammed a lot of girls. RIP, Hef.
Max Planck | April 7, 2009 at 12:58 pm
What we are not getting here is the eye watering smell of perfume, hairspray and Depends.
Muslim Ape in the White House | April 7, 2009 at 12:59 pm
I’m B’lack Oboombox,
And by going to the G20 summit, standing on the world stage, and acting like a complete and utter incompetent fool, apologizing to Terrorist Muslims, vowing support of Palestine against jews, apologizing to the world for the United States for helping countless nations and hundreds of millions of people in their fight against hunger, disease, Aids, and ruthless dictator’s. Proving that I’m a muslim sympathizing radical leftist with dreams of destroying the US and helping muslim terrorists control the planet, proving to my critics that I’m just a crooked leftist anti-american shitbag who really does believe in the views of Jeremiah Wright, Farakhan, & the terrorist Bill Ayers, I will create jobs. Change!
Zanna | April 7, 2009 at 12:59 pm
@11-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Yez | April 7, 2009 at 1:02 pm
You wish you could be half as successful as Hef.
FRIST!!! | April 7, 2009 at 1:10 pm
He’s dead.
PunkA | April 7, 2009 at 1:10 pm
You know you are done and you just do not have it anymore when a room full of playmates no longer does anything for you. Sorry Hef, but a playboy you aren’t. All that was missing from those photos was a close up of drool. Hefner…..Hefner….Hefner…..
Erika | April 7, 2009 at 1:10 pm
I would totally bone Hef to get in Playboy….
Vintage ROUGH | April 7, 2009 at 1:11 pm
The man is ahead of his time…Maybe it will be perfectly fine for octagenarians to frequent night clubs couple of years from now…
GuyHolly | April 7, 2009 at 1:19 pm
I wonder how many times he gets confused about which bimbo is fucking him and calls out the wrong name.
dude_on | April 7, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Hef has his own legacy (good/bad – debatable) but men in the Western World owe him some debt of gratitude. He established a soft-core platform to exploit women (dude thought of it first) right in the face of all of those baggage laden feminists who were shoveling equality, independence etc for women. And he did it on such a large stage that he eventually help shape the prominent whore culture that is popular today. I ask you… are there more feminists today or chicks sliding down poles? Hef is an icon that will be studied for centuries.
nemo | April 7, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Anyone know who the girl in the purple dress is?
Zanna | April 7, 2009 at 1:22 pm
@20 – He’s ahead of his time alright. The Early Bird Special was HOURS ago.
GUY!
Janey | April 7, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I imagine sex with Hef to be similar to stuffing a marshmallow in a piggy bank.
Janey | April 7, 2009 at 1:24 pm
ZANNA!!!! GUY!!!111
Zanna | April 7, 2009 at 1:26 pm
JANEY!!!!!111 ….ha ha ha..Marshmallow in a piggy bank…….AWESOME!
GuyHolly | April 7, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Zanna!!!!!!!!!1111 Janey!!!!!!!!!!!11
Dan Montana | April 7, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Well he’s still getting his asshole licked by hot chicks
Dan Montana | April 7, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Well he’s still getting his asshole licked by hot chicks
Nero | April 7, 2009 at 3:14 pm
He’s probably dreaming about bald headed women.
Rhialto | April 7, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Did he just finished some intensive cardio training?
Black Women Suck | April 7, 2009 at 4:40 pm
The black women hanging out with Hugh looks like she’s on lunch break.
Alfalfa | April 7, 2009 at 5:17 pm
It’s the new movie Weekend At Hefner’s
JT | April 7, 2009 at 5:25 pm
looks likes it’s time to put the old goat in a nursing home already, and you just know all the former playmates will come visit him all the time, for a fee that is!
SucreKID | April 7, 2009 at 6:41 pm
he’s not sleeping or dead you numbskullz he’s on his crackberry
Zoltan | April 7, 2009 at 7:22 pm
C’mon , guys, I’m 40, and I know I’ve looked worse than that at 2 o’clock in the morning when trying to keep up with my (one) wife who is only 5 years younger than me.
Janey – the marshmellow part is funny, but your vagina = piggy bank?
Mr T | April 7, 2009 at 7:25 pm
At least he can put some sunglasses on and look a little cool
He's a perv | April 7, 2009 at 10:51 pm
This dying fuck is partly responsible for the plasticizing of our women by promoting fake tits. Why can’t he date women his own age? He really is greedy and disgusting to be rubbing soft gray pubed piss dripping dick against certainly repulsed young whores. Why couldn’t he find something else to do with his time with all his money? Sick.
vito | April 8, 2009 at 12:01 am
He doesn’t date women his own age because you can’t go down on old ladies…
Ever try pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
gerard Vandenberg | April 8, 2009 at 12:37 am
……………………AS GOOD AS IT GETS?
Britt | April 8, 2009 at 12:48 am
I’d screw him if that meant being financially supported and living in a mansion. I took it in the ass from a 53 year old so what’s another 30 years?
Mike | April 8, 2009 at 2:27 am
Who’s the blonde? She looks like Brande Roderick…uber hot!
Ninny | April 8, 2009 at 6:14 am
@dude_on: Hef’s a sad old man. He may have been the first to invent industrialized objectification of women, but that could not stop women from evolving beyond the fifties idea of everything being about pleasing men. Sorry, you lose. No matter how many sorry-ass skanks there are willing to fark anything to appear in this lame whore catalog Playdough, there are bright, successful girls who know their worth and laugh at men like this. And who needs a disgusting old pervert to support them?? Work for your own money, honey!
wet newspaper | April 8, 2009 at 9:24 am
LOLLLL @ #11
that’s totally fucking gross but hilarious at the same time.
Rique | April 8, 2009 at 1:06 pm
You people read this all wrong, Hef is texting his next booty call!
chupacabra | April 8, 2009 at 1:23 pm
what a sad ole fuck.
Bobaloo | April 8, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Pics 2 & 3: She felt old age creeping up on her.
Deacon Jones | April 8, 2009 at 2:53 pm
@39 Jealous, fat cow?
It’s not his fault hundreds of thousands of women across the country will do anything for money , including dolling themselves up and settling for a bunch of old limp dicks, just so they can crash his Benz into a curb while they’re talking on their Motorola Dolce Cabanna-styled phone bitching how bored they are.
dude_on | April 8, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Ninny – I know there are women who have class. It would be great if their stature/achievements would motivate others to look at them as role models – there are already enough pole dancers.