Hugh Hefner Has Two Girlfriends Now

June 28th, 2011 // 63 Comments

“And no crust! Hurts my gums. Now someone turn up the phonograph, I’m feeble.”

Hugh Hefner can’t seem to get enough of us kids and our newfangled Twitter-ma-tron and spent yesterday sending emoticons to his second girlfriend Shera Bechard (above) because apparently powdering him has become a two bimbo job again. “You promised me efficiency, Depends!” is probably something that was said:

Shera is both our November 2011 Playmate & my new girlfriend, Sarah.RT @princessfox @hughhefner is Shera a new girlfriend or playmate

I like how the Shannon twins moved back in, yet Hugh remembered not to make them girlfriends again which is amazing considering he still thinks Eisenhower is the president. “What’s that? A colored fella? I don’t like funny business. Now, make these hussies dress like rabbits while I wear a sailor’s hat.”

Photo: Fame, Getty, Playboy


  1. Way to show us yungins how it’s done right! Now if he can make it an ‘even’ three, he can start singing that song again about giving them candy..

  2. Anonymous

    Holy fuck that chick has a five head.

  3. Annie

    Hahaha I fucking love when you rip into Hef, Fish. A job well done yet again. PS THIS BITCH UGLY but the first one looks pretty tasty…

  4. God is Black

    Seriously , does Hef have a fembot factory ,a.k.a Futurama and when they start to develop their own personality, Hef simply states” Fuck this, bring me a new one!”

    • Rancid

      I’m with you, God. I can’t tell the fucking difference between these broads. They all have that fake blonde hair, fake plastic smiles, and dead eyes. It’s like walking down the doll aisle of Toys R Us.

  5. CptCreep

    Didn’t she play the Borg Queen?

  6. waldo

    See if I have this right:
    Get stood up by fiancee – acquire new girlfriend.
    Insufficient ball coverage – start sexy bakery?

  7. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    Playboy Azz Fiesta. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

  8. Mandy

    Looks like a younger version of Ice T’s wife (Coco?)

  9. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty, and somewhat stunned looking. That’s probably for the best if a gorgeous young woman is planning on whoring herself out to a rich old man for the brief illusion of security & fame.

  10. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Welcome to the mansion.
    Get on your knees & start fluffin’ the old guy.

  11. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Seat Filler
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re shooting another Fockers movie?

  12. Dflytiger

    Kinda looks like uma Thurman.

  13. Bam

    I hope he dies soon just to end the embarrassment.

    • Embarrassment? The man is 80 something years old and bangs young chicks day and night! The girls should be embarrassed not Hef! Is it gross? Yes. If i were him would I do the same damn thing? ABSOLUTELY!

      • BE

        Well feel free to be just as sick and pathetic. One would hope you could find a real relationship instead of envying this freak.

        Just make sure you have about a million a year to dump on your sad little attempts to prove you’re manhood. He watches GAY porn to keep it up for each of their TWO minute rides twice a week.

  14. i wish i could find a girlfriend that would wipe my ass…

  15. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I go poopy!”

  16. hobo killer

    How coked up must these tramps be to actually fuck him?

    • Rancid

      No coke – they just tape their eyes shut with 50 dollar bills.

      • Richard McBeef

        I would sit down on a pile of loose meat for few minutes every week until it got semi firm and then soft again if it meant free room and board plus a spending allowance. You know with the bad economy and all it’s tough getting a good gig with no skills other than fake tits.

    • BE

      Actually, it takes Qualudes according to strikingly similar accounts from Playmate tell alls…

  17. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Johnny Pepper
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oops! Hef did a no-no in his pants again!”

  18. It had to be said

    Hef, since this is all for publicity anyway, can we get a little variety? Maybe a woman that is not blonde. Or . . . gasp . . . not white? Honestly, you know you can’t sport wood to nail them anyway, so give us a mix of eye candy.

  19. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    Dead soulless eyes…

  20. Queequeg


  21. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh boy…mac and cheese day!

  22. cc

    It’s good to know that women still consider ‘a sense of humor’ to be a man’s most important attribute.

  23. I have a question for her. Does Hef’s Johnson taste like a Slim Jim? Or does it just look like one?

  24. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    guy rossi
    Commented on this photo:

    A picture of Hefs O-face? REALLY?

  25. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s Ottawa, not Ottowa.

  26. Drax

    Hef is pathetic. He uses Viagra and gay porn to get off so he can sex with his women.

    What a sad, sad, man. He should spend his later years doing something constructive. Pathetic to be obsessed with sex when you are that old.

    • No, pathetic is trying to tell someone who revolutionized sexuality and openess to change how he lives just because of his age. So what you are saying is, ‘Hef, you are old so you should stop having sex?’ guess what Drax old bean, your grandparents still shag each other. Their dry wrinkly liver spotted skin in a massive heap of Preperation-H and Ben Gay smelling passion! He’s obsessed with sex, big deal!

      As for your gay porn comment, really? I feela slight bit of envy from your direction because Hef is still banging hot chicks and disposing of them left and right at his ripe old age.

  27. Mena Suvari

    This guy is not fooling anyone anymore and has not been cool since the 90 er 80′s. He could not get it up even with viagra which would give him a heart attack. Talk about a waste of money. These hookers are lucky! they are paid very well and do not have to do anything except get photographed with him.

  28. I wonder if he or the girls ever got a disease

    • lol @ dante dumferno

      another dumb one. of course. some have admitted.

      its what happens when you fuck 1000′s. he’s not immune.

  29. You know, all of you who are writing about how gross or how irrelevant or how disgusting Hugh Hefner is for what he is doing at his ripe old age are funny. I don’t think Hef is fooled into thinking these young girls are with him because they actually LIKE him. He’s not an idiot. He built a sexual empire the likes of which has never been or ever will be seen again. He was THE pioneer of the porn industry. He opened the door for Hustler, Swank, Vivid, Porno Valley, All Nude Strip Clubs, and mainstreaming porn. He busted up the puritanical morality play’s of the early 60′s.

    So if, in his ripe old age, he wants to surround himself with a bevy of beauties and try to act 50 years younger than he is then so be it. The man has earned the right. To ask him to change his lifestyle and his morals just because he is decrepid is ludicrous. Is it gross to think of him naked and having sex? Absolutely it is. Disgusting even. Thing is, His relevance to today makes no difference because without him there would be no today, maybe even no Superficial. It was he who broke a lot of censorship codes and challenged the Right to Free Speech with his magazine.

    By the way, there are many who have posted that the girls Hef has run around with recently aren’t to their liking. Hef has ALWAYS preferred blondes as his personal choice so why be surprised that he keeps shaggin them? If anyone should be ridiculed for their behavior it should be the gold digging sluts who come crawling to him telling him they love him and wish to be with him. He knows what they want and he has enough wealth to be generous in that regard. The women, however, are making real fools of themselves because no one is fooled as to what they really have their eye on and what they really love about Hef, his pocketbook.

  30. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he must wear that hat to remind his girlfriends that they are always on the poop deck.

  31. lol @ dante dumferno

    no one is asking him to change. we are pointing out how lame generations before were to idolize him. he doesn’t stand a chance in the blog age.

  32. lol @ dante dumferno

    anyone who thinks hef has done more revolutionizing than damage to society has their head up their asses.

    • Just a Guy

      lol @ dante dumferno – You are a hater with a little dick or a wide pussy, depending on which sex you claim today.

      Hef is a Hero.

  33. lol @ dante dumferno

    dante, you need to real the stories from the women who have been with him.

    oh, and hef is likely gay. it might expmain the massive attempt to cover it up, yeah. he needs gay porn t get off, a bunch of the girls have confessed.

    • Yes, and those women are such honest resources of information that I want to listen to what they have to say regarding the man who jilted them from their ultimate pay off. Not credible. As for my comments about his being a Pioneer of the sexual revolution, it’s a stated fact that MANY (Including Larry Flyntt, who is by no means a fan of Hugh Hefner) have given him credit. He may not have singlehandedly open the eyes of America, but he DID make it mainstream and acceptable. Denying this would be denying the truth.

      • BE

        And they would all lie about it the same way because? They’re all friends? It’s pretty naive to think an 80 plus publicly blows close to a million bucks a year to prove to the world he gets his and not think that the old pervert doth protest too much. By the way, Hef’s oldest kid is a GAY man who Hef’s tried to hide for years. If we took Hef’s name off of these facts – 99% percent would come to the conclusion that this guy is a self-loathing mess who has made a great living off of using women while secretly longing for men.

        But really, feel free to keep deluding yourself that all of it is OK. By the way, I hear there’s a bridge in San Fransisco for sale too…LOL

        And FYI – Hef’s latest is MISS NOVEMBER because she has to stay a full six months to maintain her presence on the cover coming up.

        It’s a revolving door because even these prostitutes (whoops, Playmates) find him digusting – NOT because Hef likes variety…OOPS I guess they’re all lying about that too, huh.

        Why don’t you go bang an 86 year old and come back to comment?

  34. RivernEgypt

    Hef banging babes is a little disturbing but frankly visualizing the average “The Superficial” reader having sex is…

  35. Nik

    i dunno why he’s been trying to put all his eggs into one basket, impregnate a bunch of of them and split the inheritance amongst them

    it’s the only reasonable ending to his life of banging hot 18 year old chicks

  36. I feel bad for any guy who bangs one of Hef’s girls

  37. Pippy Longcockings

    Hef makes that same face when she chews his baguette.

  38. anonym

    despite the large forehead, this bitch is much more pleasant to look at than that Crystal harris

  39. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    “Poop pants. Poop pants. Pooped muh pants”

  40. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    I can hear him now..
    “Pull muh finger sonny! Aheh heh heh hehr *long agonizing wheeze followed by a couple of coughs and a fart*”

  41. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    Money. He has it, we don’t.

  42. Severed finger in 3…2…1

  43. tlmck

    The only decent babe he has ever hooked up with was Barbie Benton.

  44. Shera Bechard Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    ugly as hell, its funny how theyre being used for their “looks” but these girls are nothing, i mean we have so many gorgeous supermodels/actresses out there that look 10x better than them so im not impressed

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