Hugh Hefner Planking

August 3rd, 2011 // 120 Comments

Because this is not at all a cover story to disguise his death, Hugh Hefner‘s latest girlfriend Anna Sophia Berglund managed to talk him into “planking” last night because sometimes it’s nice to know there’s still a refuge of youth and vigor in the penis you hop onto whenever your number’s called. Of course, afterward, Hugh made all the Playmates plank because he was really having a Viagra overdose which they all thought was hilarious. Sadly for them, he’s able to stay frozen in one position for hours at a stretch. Once for two days though no one really knows how or why he got in that hamper. “I like socks,” he was quoted at the time.

Photos: Twitter


  1. dani

    Somebody should poke him, just in case.

  2. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Still the fucking man

  3. Motorboat Captain

    What the hell is planking, why is everyone else my age retarded, and why would Hef want to be anything like us?

    • The Critical Crassness

      Apparently, you are living under a rock, which explains your lack of understanding where “planking” is concerned, especially since a “dead guy”, who used to be somebody, gets it!

      • General Disarray

        Well I get it and I still think it’s fucking retarted. 95% of the people follow any fucking trend these days because they’re idiots.

    • Planking…the social meme for people too pathetic to even stand upright to “get in on” something.

    • LJ

      Planking or the lying down game is an activity consisting of lying face down in an unusual or incongruous location. The hands must touch the sides of the body and having a photograph of the participant taken and posted on the internet is an integral part of the game. Players compete to find the most unusual and original location in which to play.The term planking refers to mimicking a wooden plank.

      • mensa

        planking is fucking retarded. if i could eliminate 95% of my current generation via weapons of mass destruction i would. just because of the planking trend.

      • comic book guy

        no wonder our rulers think we’re a bunch of blissful idiots

    • Dave

      couldnt agree more, what a bunch of idiotic sheep the people are that follow these stupid trends. ” Epic” plank dude!

      • American Bandersnatch

        Try “plancking” instead. It involves lying perfectly still, as if dead, with a nobel prize around your nexk.

  4. I’d be more impressed if he was owling.

  5. The Critical Crassness

    Fish, I think you reversed the pictures. The one with all the girls planking should be first. The one of Hef alone, shows him after he had the heart attack while staring at all those butts and reliving the distant past…..

  6. Frank Burns

    Are you sure this isn’t just his mid-afternoon nap?

  7. WTF

    Ha! My cat does that on my table.

  8. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Jesus, Jr.
    Commented on this photo:

    Hef may go down as the greatest man who ever lived.

  9. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    Butt-Buffet! :D

  10. General Disarray

    He is the mother-fucking-man. I don’t care how old he is or how these bimbos are doing him for the money and attention…he’s a genius for still getting to bang these broads at his age.

  11. Sheppy

    “Go on! All the cool kids a re doing it!”
    Yeah, 2 years ago. if you can even consider them ‘cool’.

  12. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    Still the man…seriously?

  13. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Show off.

  14. PoorMaryKelly

    Looks more like he’s choked to death on his pureed chicken. My uncle “planked” last year when he had a stroke.RIP Uncle Bert.

  15. Venom

    Thank you Hugh Hefner for finally killing off this stupid fad.

  16. Satan

    More nonsense from this pathetic old man? This is what he is like in bed, he has to use gay porn and viagra to get off.

    Pathetic old man still trying to be relevant. Tis a shame but I doubt he’ll repent and turn to Christ. Jews reject the Savior. His soul is as good as mine.

  17. Satan's bitch

    Pretty sure he’s not really planking. More like lying face down on a frickin’ table.

  18. Kelce

    Rest In Peace

  19. MILF

    Bet the playmates were relieved to finally be on top of something hard.

  20. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    Planking is officially no longer funny.

  21. Casey

    Does a dude that old really still have an ass or is that his depends?

    • Ponkur

      His glutes are about the only thing he still exercises, for a whole 10 seconds at a time as he pokes whichever generic blonde has been summoned to his quarters before his ghostly phallus coughs out a bit of dusty semen.

  22. steV0dd

    Way to put the Viagra nail in the planking coffin, Hef. The fad was over a month ago, maybe more.

  23. LivewireT

    It was Professoer Plum in the conservatory with the candlestick!

  24. villenuv27

    Hope the Colonial Penn premium is paid up…

  25. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit, I saw a video about planking a few days ago and I thought is was just some kind of strange joke. Turns out, it’s a real thing!

    This is painfully stupid.

  26. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    Dinner time at the Mansion.

  27. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    Lucky ass SOB. I want that life.

  28. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    Dibs on little Miss T-shirt & Cutoff Jeans.

  29. youcandieNOW

    I think he’s waiting for a diaper change.

  30. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    Talking him into it: “Ready for your diaper change, Heffy?”

  31. the one

    (his age is of NO discussion)

  32. reyna

    Are you sure he is not dead????? Could be….

  33. Rockem

    I wish they all were deading…

  34. Well now his worst fear:necrophiliac homosexuals!!!

  35. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not “planking”! Somebody get the paddles from the glass container on the wall! Shot of adrenaline ready! Clear! *bzzzapp*

  36. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    Sad news is, he had to take viagra to get his thumb up.

  37. Thugnificent

    Dat ni99a died…

  38. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    Planking is all he has left. Its obvious there is NO SEX going on with him….at least this way he gets a nap.

  39. Mihos

    No one on this board at 40 even sees the shit he turns down at 80. Show some god damn respect.

  40. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    comic book guy
    Commented on this photo:

    oh and all they need now are burquas!

  41. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    That table is going to smell like Geritol and tuna for years to come.

  42. Turd Ferguson

    That wacky old Crypt Keeper.
    Flashlight tag tonight?

  43. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    .. oh no! dead hookers!

  44. Martina

    Oh my god, he just heard that Kris Kardashian is pimping out Kendall

  45. dram

    Let me know when he can still pitch a tent for his hookers instead of his face down casket pose. At one point he was classy. It got old. Go rub your flaccid penis up against Lary’s leftovers.
    Someone turned the lights out at the mansion a long time ago. It is the CREEPY place to go now.

  46. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    I see this picture and all I can think of is Marshall Applewhite and the Heaven’s Gate cult mass suicide.

  47. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t understand this fad, but isn’t it more impressive if you’re having to keep your body straight without being able to rest all of it on one surface?

  48. mtk

    This is sooooo July.

  49. .

    Someone should check for a pulse.

  50. Hugh Hefner Planking Playmates
    Commented on this photo:

    Shagged. To. Death.

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