Hugh Hefner’s Old Prostitutes Bring Him Comfort in His Time of Need

By: The Superficial / June 15, 2011

“What do those words say down there? I’m cold and hungry.”

After Crystal Harris dumped Hugh Hefner‘s five days before their wedding because he wouldn’t give her a bigger allowance (No, really.), his “Girls Next Door” rushed to his side per the severance agreement they all signed before leaving his employ. Via E! News:

Bridget Marquardt:
“Just stopped by the mansion 2 give @hughhefner a hug. He seems to be handling this well. He even had a sense of humor about it! #LoveUHef”

Kendra Wilkinson:
“@hughhefner we r comin over w some jack n coke… oh n a pipe lol” (Note: This has since been deleted. I can’t imagine why.)

Holly Madison:
“U r too sweet. Wish I was there to support, too! RT @KendraWilkinson: @hughhefner we r comin over w some jack n coke… oh n a pipe lol” (And that’s how you toss a bitch under the bus. RETWEET, HO!)

Since then, current Playmate of the Year Claire Sinclair has offered her support or else she doesn’t get a bonus at the end of the month:

“He deserves better,” said Sinclair, who will be appearing on Howard Stern’s radio show tomorrow morning. “It’s a selfish move to do it so suddenly. She should have been a little more adult about it and decided months ago. To put people through this five days before a wedding, I think it’s horrific.”

A gold-digger acting selfish? I thought I’d never see the day. Fortunately, we live in a fair and just world where the rich can triumph over adversity and pwn a hooker with their clever movie selections. Take it away, Hugh:

Since we’re not getting married on Saturday, I’ve scheduled a movie: “Runaway Bride.” Seems appropriate.

“And I’m gonna gum my oatmeal as loud as I want the whole time, so take that, Kaiser! Boy, ready the telemotron device, I crave moving pictures.” *puts on aviator goggles*

Photo: INFdaily, Splash News, WENN