Hugh Hefner’s Old Prostitutes Bring Him Comfort in His Time of Need

“What do those words say down there? I’m cold and hungry.”

After Crystal Harris dumped Hugh Hefner’s five days before their wedding because he wouldn’t give her a bigger allowance (No, really.), his “Girls Next Door” rushed to his side per the severance agreement they all signed before leaving his employ. Via E! News:

Bridget Marquardt:
“Just stopped by the mansion 2 give @hughhefner a hug. He seems to be handling this well. He even had a sense of humor about it! #LoveUHef”

Kendra Wilkinson:
“@hughhefner we r comin over w some jack n coke… oh n a pipe lol” (Note: This has since been deleted. I can’t imagine why.)

Holly Madison:
“U r too sweet. Wish I was there to support, too! RT @KendraWilkinson: @hughhefner we r comin over w some jack n coke… oh n a pipe lol” (And that’s how you toss a bitch under the bus. RETWEET, HO!)

Since then, current Playmate of the Year Claire Sinclair has offered her support or else she doesn’t get a bonus at the end of the month:

“He deserves better,” said Sinclair, who will be appearing on Howard Stern’s radio show tomorrow morning. “It’s a selfish move to do it so suddenly. She should have been a little more adult about it and decided months ago. To put people through this five days before a wedding, I think it’s horrific.”

A gold-digger acting selfish? I thought I’d never see the day. Fortunately, we live in a fair and just world where the rich can triumph over adversity and pwn a hooker with their clever movie selections. Take it away, Hugh:

Since we’re not getting married on Saturday, I’ve scheduled a movie: “Runaway Bride.” Seems appropriate.

“And I’m gonna gum my oatmeal as loud as I want the whole time, so take that, Kaiser! Boy, ready the telemotron device, I crave moving pictures.” *puts on aviator goggles*

Photo: INFdaily, Splash News, WENN