How Rich is Michael Douglas? No, Seriously, I Need to Know.

Here’s Catherine Zeta Jones at the 64th Annual Tony Awards last night where she trotted out Michael Douglas for, what I can only assume, were purely soup-based reasons. I don’t know if the Welsh are asexual or incapable of shame, but I’ll never understand the mechanics of this relationship. Seriously, not a single person is looking at these pictures and thinking Catherine Zeta Jones isn’t hiding silverware in her vagina. If the Mona Lisa were to drop on the red carpet between her legs, nobody would’ve batted an eye unless it woke Michael Douglas from napping against the wall. “Huh? What? Celery hurts my teeth. Zzzz…”

Photos: Getty, Splash News