How Rich is Michael Douglas? No, Seriously, I Need to Know.

June 14th, 2010 // 67 Comments

Here’s Catherine Zeta Jones at the 64th Annual Tony Awards last night where she trotted out Michael Douglas for, what I can only assume, were purely soup-based reasons. I don’t know if the Welsh are asexual or incapable of shame, but I’ll never understand the mechanics of this relationship. Seriously, not a single person is looking at these pictures and thinking Catherine Zeta Jones isn’t hiding silverware in her vagina. If the Mona Lisa were to drop on the red carpet between her legs, nobody would’ve batted an eye unless it woke Michael Douglas from napping against the wall. “Huh? What? Celery hurts my teeth. Zzzz…”

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. Philipp

    he’s still alive?

  2. Typical

    Look at how classy and elegant Catherine Zeta Jones is. Only Asians and Europeans can have such class. Americans are not class. They are fat, ugly, slutty, trashy, stupid, arrogant, opinionated, and attention-seeking. Americans girls sex blacks mexicans, porto ricans and trashy whites. We get top of the line. We get to chose from the best Asians, whites and jews who are smart and powerful. Americans can only chose from the lowest of the low. Michael Douglas would never date a American whore. He originally wanted a Asian but settled for the next best thing.

    • Janice

      Ahahahahahaha what you said about Americans is funny… because it’s true.

    • FattyFatty2X4

      Fish, are you Typical?
      She, he, gets alot of folks to comment and you are clever like that.
      Either way, don’t answer, it might ruin the fantasy.

    • Jack Armstrong "The All-American Boy"

      But you seem to forget one thing: WE’RE AMERICANS! And you’re not. So fuck you, you slant-eyed gook, limey, mick, kraut, frog, spick, dago, hebe, jap, chink, baby-eating darkie motherfucker! Or whatever you are.

      • AnneShirley

        How utterly intelligent of you. You just proved Typical right. Glad I’m not American.

      • Bunny

        Thank you Jack!!!!!! I love you and fuck off Typical KIMCHEEEEEEEEE!!!

      • Lola

        I am proud to be an American. Hollywood is not what the rest of us are about and are. Most of Hollywood is uneducated and waaaaaaaaaaaaaay liberal. The rest of us are real, hard working and guess what we are sick and tired of the rest of the world only liking us when they need money.

        And tell me what is up with bad teeth in Europe???

    • Taylor

      Nice rant.. now go take your meds.

    • justifiable

      “Michael Douglas would never date a American whore. He originally wanted a Asian but settled.”

      So he really wanted “a” Asian whore first? Typical must’ve been busy that day.

    • WhiteGoddess

      Typical, SHUT THE FUCK UP. You are such a self-hating insecure troll. Firstly, that color would look better on someone with a cool skin tone and lighter hair, and secondly there are FAR prettier women than her in the States. Fuck off and die already.

    • Bono

      However- “typical” sounds like a complete, classless fuck in addition to those he criticizes- It boils down to most humans are gross and classless- including “typical”–there are a few rare intelligent people left on earth anymore–

    • jay poe

      You obviously are ignorant yourself since you cannot spell. I bet you are fat, ugly and an illerate loser.

  3. Nicole
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow you don’t see them in awhile and you can’t believe how fast they aged.

  4. Typical's best friend.

    @ TYPICAL. You are IGNORANT.

    • Bunny

      Really Typical? I just read your post again. You know, I’m not sure why. Afternoon penance for my sins, maybe? You have got to be THE most disgusting, idiotic, racist, nasty person to ever put their bound foot on God’s beautiful planet. I would personally don my pink bunny cape and rescue any man who had the UNFORTUNATE luck to stumble onto you. And he’d thank me…. and then dive into my clean fish-free pussy. Ahhhhhhhhhh…. nice thought.

      In other news…. Michael Douglas takes his viagra and fucks CZJ like a champ I’ll bet. He leaves nothing to chance. ;)

  5. His dad bought a whole whack of real estate back in the day because they liked to hang out as a family at the beach (so did the Bridges) Well that real estate that was out in the boonies is now Malibu.

  6. BF

    I only read Superficial comments to laugh at the idiots who say “first” and who are second or even third commenters. You’re all so f-ing stupid — thanks for the free enjoyment and ego boost.

  7. Alex

    At this point, Mikey is worth just a tad under 200 million USD. He can have that high maintenance bitch.

  8. Wow

    I don’t know what Catherine is doing to her face but she needs to stop. She’s beginning to look like Terri Hatcher. Be afraid . . . .

  9. froghammer

    Aw man, her face is seriously effed up now. Why do they all have to go too far?

    • Mama Pinkus

      tTey go too far because they can – they have the money to seriously fuck up their faces and the vanity to make them do it. It’s a shame because a little tweaking would look nice and natural but these celebrity bitches are soooooooo terrified of aging they try to remain in their 20′s always. It is beyond sad.

  10. Pussy Galore
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy Crap. She had some terrible plastic surgery to her face. She used to be so pretty. What a bummer.

  11. She is really starting to look old. I saw part of Entrapment the other day on TV, and she was HOT back then.

    • Zed

      ‘Entrapment’ came out in 1999. She was only 29 or just turned 30. So yeah, it would kind of make sense, wouldn’t it?

  12. bar room hero

    -Greed is Good.


    • It is also right, it cuts through, and captures the evolutionary spirit of America. Greed in all of it’s forms… Greed for money, power, love. You mark my words, greed will not only save Teldar Paper but also that malfunctioned corporation called the U. S. of A. Thank you. ( wild applause)

      greed will also make Shia my little bitch in the sequel.

  13. A hole

    Douglas looks her grandfather. Useless old fuck.

  14. once upon a time
    Commented on this photo:

    she looked so beautiful once, what happend, besides a terrible surgeon?

  15. vitobonespur
    Commented on this photo:

    In picture #1 they’re holding hands like they can’t stand each other. Maybe there’s hope for us mere mortals yet.

  16. James
    Commented on this photo:

    boy they look old.

  17. sobrietyisacrutch

    I had heard rumors that Catherine is actually quite a bit older than she claims she is, like 15 years older or something. And Michael Douglas was actually considered quite the catch still at that time. I personally thought he looked rather hunky in “Romancing the Stone”. But what do I know? I’m “old” too. (45)

  18. Hugh Macpherson

    RSS is broken again – no images

  19. Agnes P.

    I think he is hot. I would take him over Robert Pattison any day. Sexy is not a number, you wipper snapper fuckseeds.

    • FrankNfrtr

      That’s not saying much. Anyone over 12 years old with functioning eyes can see that RP has a weird busted face & is downright funny looking.

  20. stinky mcpoop
    Commented on this photo:

    he must be rich enough to secure her a Tony for whatever the fuck she’s been doing to earn one of those

  21. obamaisacommunist

    How stupid can you be everyone knows the Welsh have both a Penis and a Vagina, Mr Douglas has both hands on deck!!

  22. Liz

    michael douglas is sexy! that’s why he has catherine zeta jones. Even at his older age he is still hot.

    like fine wine, men get better w/ age. at least with him this is true.

  23. Seashell


  24. Taylor
    Commented on this photo:

    Too much plastic, sweaty upper lip.. the dress is a miracle of design, it swirls in multi patterns to deflect from thick waist .. Too bad it can’t take away the fact that her neck is non existitant.. but hey! She can sing/dance!!

  25. Aff
    Commented on this photo:


  26. HUH?
    Commented on this photo:

    What is wrong with him? He’s only 65? Looks 120. And she’s only 40. WTH?

  27. momo
    Commented on this photo:

    big deal

  28. captain america

    I think she will be dissapointed.
    ………EXAGGERATION IS AMERICAN.(and a way to keep your wife close to ya)

  29. Wake me when you say something truly witty...

    God forbid you should let a day pass by without using the word “vagina” in one of your posts. I guess you still think it has shock value. WRONG.

  30. August Teen

    He may be rich but she has to sleep with him and bear his children. It might all be worth it when he kicks it in 20 years–if he hasn’t already largely excised her from the will. Of course, she’ll be older and more droopy then, too.

  31. rtf.iya

    I was just thinking if how rich is Michael Douglas.Some says that he lost 40% of his fortune but how true?.By the way,Catherine looks young in her dress.

    floor tape

  32. Shame
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks completely different from the last time I saw pics of her. WTF these people need to stay away from plastic surgery; it ruins their trademark faces

  33. grim reaper

    Pssssst! Send me a pm.

  34. Nero

    Aside of panties,are there any girls who want to send me something?

  35. jamie
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like an awfully rough middle-age tranny even after the work of an army of the best hair, makeup, and lighting people.

  36. gigi
    Commented on this photo:

    hideous dress…. I know CJZ has practically no hip/waist ratio, but who’s her frigging stylist that they can’t pick her out something flattering for her figure?? perhaps the same genius who told her to match her eyeshadow to that hideous dress… tsk tsk tsk… she must have pissed somebody off…

  37. uglygirlwitholdman

    yuck, she is not elegant, she is ugly and she smokes.

    if you want to see someone classy, check out chloe kardashian…now there is a classy chick

  38. mikesby
    Commented on this photo:

    they both look much older for their age, nonetheless she is a classy lady.

  39. G

    lol @ “silverware in her vagina” That was superb.

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