How Does One Bikini Hold All That Sexy? And
Other News

June 7th, 2012 // 78 Comments

- Ryan Gosling takes Eva Mendes to his mom’s college graduation. [Lainey Gossip]

- Video Game Logic Is Hilarious When You Think About It [theCHIVE]

- Lindsay Lohan is causing “audible gasps” as Elizabeth Taylor. [Dlisted]

- 28 Ways “Sex And The City” Would Be Different If It Were On TV Now [BuzzFeed]

- Minka Kelly never looks not awesome. [Popoholic]

- Apparently Jewel fixed her teeth. [IDLYITW]

- Micaela Schaeffer is an incredible dresser. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Kim Kardashian‘s ass can no longer be contained by Earth fabric. [TooFab]

- Kate Upton‘s breasts bouncing, anyone? [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- May’s Sexiest Celebrity Twitpics [Celebslam]

- Django Unchained has a trailer. Shut up and watch it. [FilmDrunk]

- Caroline Wozniacki Poses for Own Underwear Line, Shuts Down Internet [Bleacher Report]

- Billy Ray Cyrus handles Miley marrying someone that isn’t him as bravely as possible. [HuffPost Entertainment]

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Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. MOOO..err…..Wait, thought it was a Kardashian.

  2. Dan Quayle

    That’s more woman than one man can handle

  3. I’d tap it! Couldn’t be no worse than the chicks I’ve been with when I was younger.

  4. Colin

    Audible gasps when LiLo dressed up? Are we sure those weren’t anything else? Stifled laughter? Disdainful sighs? Jessica Simpson farting? Dina doing lines?

  5. There you go Tony!

    Dont use all the tissues at once!

  6. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not fat, she’s thick. Really, really, really, really thick.

  7. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Exhibit D: Big natural boobs usually come with big natural thighs.

  8. OK, I’m not just trying to be a contrarian here, and it’s probably partly because I’m a little older, but that’s a luscious body. I know it’s not our cultural idea of what a “perfect” woman’s body needs to look like. But if you’ve never had sex with a woman with this kind of body, man, you’re missing out. By the way, I have NO IDEA who she is. Probably part of that whole me being a little older thing :-)

    • No doubt. I’ll take a body like this over a starved bag of bones any day. If I wanted skeletors I’d just hang around methadone clinics and chemo centers.

      Guys who obsess over those waifs and bash girls like this are virgins, pedos, or married to an old hag actually 50 lbs heavier than this girl.

      • Mike Walker

        >married to an old hag actually 50 lbs heavier than this girl.

        IOW, someone like you.

      • Actually someone like that shriveled up housewife you have sex with while fantasizing about your neighbor’s son.

      • Mike Walker

        Meanwhile, you’re flicking your lima bean to man-faced monstrosities like Brooke Hogan, Coco and Uncle Leo in a bikini pictured above.

      • I guess when you’re afflicted with the curse of pedophilia, women like Brooke Hogan look “manly” while skeletal creatures that look like a cross between a tranny and an adolescent boy seem “feminine”! Then again if your thoughts made sense you wouldn’t be a kid toucher to begin with.

    • Jak

      Once you hear this chick’s voice and her language and then see her
      bent face–your wet dream will shrivel up a die.

    • Roger Dodger fan

      I can appreciate what Misterbee is saying. I wish women could look like women and men could admit they like it. ( ie small waist, boobs, hips and soft).

      But this isn’t the chick you want as your poster girl.

      Instead Search this site for DeAnna Pappas.

  9. And the funniest part is not ONE of the middle-aged creeps on this site would even get a glance from this chick in real life:)

  10. Evil Monkey

    Here is how “Sex And The City” would REALLY be different now: They’d all be out of their jobs, living in one apartment selling their expensive clothes to pay back the loans they used to buy those clothes because their new careers at the local Starbucks is just not as much fun as buying coffee there.

  11. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Jak
    Commented on this photo:

    This is Tony’s Beach. All three of the girls in this picture are his type. GO TONY!!!

    • Jak

      Welcome to TONY ISLAND: Where the thighs boom louder than the surf.

      • I was gonna make a joke about your dream beach, but I remembered it’s still illegal for 9-year-old boys to wear bikinis in public.;)

      • Jak

        I was just kidding Tony. It sucks that men can’t be honest and open about their preferences. I know a lot of guys that feel the same way as you. The fashion world has starved our women and made the men defensive about not liking starved women.

        peace

      • No problem:) The only place I see so many skeletor worshippers is online. Like you, I know very few guys in real life who find the starving crackhead look attractive. Some of these characters are just trolls who think calling chicks fat is some sort of revenge, but others are closet child-molesters who wish the age of consent was 12. It’s much easier for them to fantasize the girl is underage when she’s lost all those icky curves.

        I do get a kick out of shitting on them though:)

      • cRAZYHOTkELLI

        My husband likes his bitches bones to break during sex. He finds nothing sexier than a few broken ribs or hip during coitus. The most brittle are the heroin addicts and buolemics. We have an open marriage, and I love it–aside from the emergency room trips.

      • Mike Walker

        >The only place I see so many skeletor worshippers is online.

        The reality is, you don’t see that many, especially here. Most of them are the voices in your head… echoes of a lifetime of abuse and ridicule. The fact that you routinely insult and taunt skinny women shows you’re nothing but a fat, jealous, vindictive cunt.

      • You can keep pretending I’m a woman till you crap your pants but that won’t erase the fact that you’re just an old creep with an obsession with childlike women. And the only people “routinely insulting and taunting” anybody are you and a handful of other closets cases who can’t tolerate the sight of any woman who looks past puberty.

      • Mike Walker

        >an obsession with childlike women.

        Name one.

  12. i feel like a mosquito flying into the bug zapper knowing i’m flying to my death, but i can’t stop…i know she’s a fuck bag full of disease but i’d still lick her asshole if it was presented to me…

  13. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks so hot…. from the sun being so strong.

  14. Kate

    Why? Her body? Like Liz Hurley once said about Marilyn Monroe
    “If I was as big as her, I’d kill myself.”

    • Yet Marilyn Monroe is the greatest sex symbol of all time while Liz Hurley is a once B-Lister no one has heard of in almost a decade. But at least she’s not a self-cutting anorexic. Not that anyone like that posts here.;)

      • Kate

        Being pro ana and cutting aren’t always married together. You’d know that if you were alpha enough to score a woman that didn’t have to be taken to 16 different fast food joints during one date.

      • So you admit you’re anorexic? I do actually feel bad about picking on the likes of you. Your problems go way beyond the average male creep hanging around these sites. I know there’s a lot of pain and trauma that leads you to where you are.

        Just get some help. You won’t make the pain go away by starving yourself. Look up Body Dysmorphic Disorder. People like you are 45 times more likely than an average person to kill themselves. It’s never too late to get help.

      • Kate

        Not only do I admit it. I am PROUD of it. Where ever I go women remark about my figure. They say “If only I was as thin as you.” “If only I could lose a few.” Nobody says to the chubba wubba “I’m trying to gain weight to look like you.”

        Starving yourself is about control. I’m in control. And around the 3rd day of not eating, it’s actually a lovely high. Try it. It’s cheap.

      • I know it’s about control, you poor soul. I know this is how people with histories of trauma and abuse think. I also know how easy it is to go on those fucked up pro-ana sites and feel validated in your delusion by others suffering from the same disorder.

        But slowly killing yourself (that’s exactly what you’re doing) is not going to give you back the control you lost. You’re going about it in the worst possible way. Then again I know you’re probably beyond help at this point — you’ll end up dead or permanently disabled much sooner than later. Just think about talking to a therapist.

      • tits mcgee

        holy depressing batman

      • kat

        Some people eat to live.. others live to eat lol. ps. you will soon discover there is a line between slim and too skinny. I am actually trying to put on a little weight to look healthy.. but not overweight like this chick. The reality is, it is healthier to underweight than overweight.

      • kimmykimkim

        Hey, Kate, how about going four days with no food. Or shit, since you’re so in control, you should try 2 weeks.

      • Mike Walker

        > People like you are 45 times more likely than an average
        > person to kill themselves. It’s never too late to get help

        Conversely, it’s never too late to kill yourself, Toni.

      • ^ See what I mean, Kate?:) Those guys who hit on damaged goods like you aren’t “alphas”. They’re just creeps who think banging a 90-pound woman is as close as they’ll get to an 8-year-old without getting arrested.

      • Mike Walker

        You were 90lbs at age 8? What a shocker.

  15. GetOverYourself

    Looks like a typical Wisconsin chick. They grow ‘em big in the dairy state.

    • Kate

      Corn fed. Too many carbs. I’d blow my brains out if I lived in one of those weird-o carb infested states. Ewww

  16. Kate

    She totally needs to learn how to barf.

  17. Hugh Evers

    I’ve never been fucked up enough… Okay, one time, but I’m over it. Can we see hot boobies? I want stars covering nipples and frontal yoga pants. When was the last time an aging model fully aroused her sexually confused puberty-stricken son in public? Were those the good ole days already?

    The first eye contact after the fact is a game changer. Get ready to switch your cell number.

  18. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Beefalo
    Commented on this photo:

    urrgh…. it’s Deena

  19. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    gigi
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sorry… I’ve been a way – who is this heffer?

  20. kimmykimkim

    People, it’s time to start ignoring Tony. Seriously. Stop feeding the troll. Let it starve to death. Please.

  21. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Frank The Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    “So would you please stop hitting on all the guys and give me a chance? Hah! You owe me a Coke!!”

  22. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    God-damn.

  23. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Straight Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    I would pound her like free beer! Please bring her to me now, thank you!!!

  24. Party foul, Fish.
    Party foul.

  25. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Kb
    Commented on this photo:

    “oh! Found where snooki hid that pickle!”

  26. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Emma Contreau
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s disgusting. For someone so young her skin looks like lumpy dough.

  27. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    lily
    Commented on this photo:

    MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

  28. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    DKK
    Commented on this photo:

    She is sexy.

  29. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Ray Sister
    Commented on this photo:

    She got a little Serena Williams in dem hips.

  30. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Grand Poobah
    Commented on this photo:

    she is just freakin gross, should be doing Michelin tire commercials and putting something over that horrorshow of a bikini

  31. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m getting really annoyed at these pictures of her trying to get that bag over her head.

  32. Diana

    You people are all fucked. This one is too skinny and has no ass and that one is a cow because she’s got some meat on her.

    You’re all fucking retarded. It’s true what they say about men. Not every girl has perky bouncy breasts, a nice tight ass, skinny long legs, and no facial imperfections. Fuck off of women. I wish that all of your photos would be posted on websites like this for everyone to criticize. You people make me sick.

  33. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    Trelin
    Commented on this photo:

    She probably looks 100x better than most of you commenting here.

  34. Deena Cortese Bikini The Situation
    I Forgot
    Commented on this photo:

    OH my god NOW THAT IS A BIG AND NICE BUUUTTTT

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