How Dare You Inhale Kristen Stewart’s Oxygen?!

The Superficial / July 31, 2013

Sorry for the late start, but apparently it’s the goddamn Hunger Games for decent WiFi in New York. Case in point: I’m riding Photo Boy’s back while he’s holding a large stabbing instru- no wait, that’s how every day starts. Anyway, we’re actually able to upload photos without putting them in a stamped envelope addressed to “The Internet,” so in the meantime, here’s Kristen Stewart telling the paparazzi they don’t deserve to breathe the same air as her because she is the Lord and Queen of All That is Breathed now. Which would explain that whole Rupert Sanders business because clearly she was just making him use her vagina as a respirator. I bet you feel like a asshole now, Robert Pattinson. You never listen!