How Brandi Glanville Found Out LeAnn Rimes Was Banging Eddie Cibrian

February 5th, 2013 // 34 Comments
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Of course Brandi Glanville has written a book, and of course, it details how she found out LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian were having an affair while filming the Lifetime movie Northern Lights in 2009. Because if there’s one thing a mother wants their children to eventually read it’s how their step-mom used to be a fat titless bitch who slut-whored their dad away. This crew’s gonna have an awesome Christmas this year. I can tell. Via RadarOnline:

The future The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star says she insisted upon meeting the Blue singer, so Eddie set up a double date at a sushi restaurant. Rimes’ then husband, Dean Sheremet, was also there.
Writes Glanville, “And this woman, whom I had just met, spent more time flirting with my husband than acknowledging her own. And Dean, bless his heart, ate his sushi, laughed at all the right moments, and pretended that he didn’t see exactly what was in front of him. As the evening progressed, every time LeAnn made some sort of inappropriate advance toward my husband – a whisper, a giggle, or a reach across the ever-shrinking table – Eddie squeezed my hand a little tighter. And as if on cue, Eddie would lean over the table, every so often, to offer me a nervous, overly tongue-y kiss to gauge my current state of mind.”
Glanville says she tried to push it out of her mind, rationalizing that LeAnn was “just a child star who had married young and was unhappy with her own marriage.”

Except it turns out that LeAnn Rimes was more than just a child star unhappy with her marriage, she was also a horrible actress who sucks at having an affair:

“When later that same night, LeAnn awkwardly pulled my husband (not hers!) onstage for an awful karaoke rendition of Sonny and Cher’s “I Got You Babe,” I just about lost it… Was she serious? I felt like I was in the twilight zone.”
She continues, “Being the devoted housewife and trusting partner, I wasn’t going to say anything to them, but I knew that kind of tenacity didn’t come from nowhere. I looked at Eddie’s smiling face on that stupid, low-rent stage and leaned over to Dean and said, ‘You know they’re fucking, right?’”

And here’s where Brandi really lost me because the next part involves LeAnn Rimes eating:

“LeAnn had ‘accidentally’ smeared some cake frosting on her top ( she was still a bigger girl and completely flat-chested at the time) and asked my husband, not realizing that I was standing behind the both of them, if he’d wanted to lick it off her. This woman asked my husband if he wanted to eat the frosting mess she’d dropped on her nonexistent chest? Are you fucking kidding me? He hadn’t realized I was there either, and he laughed with hungry eyes at the suggestion.”
Brandi says she stepped between the two of them and said, “’What the fuck do you two have going on? Do you two have something you’d like to tell me?’ LeAnn laughed through her oversized dentures before purring. ‘Oh, honey, you’re just being silly.’”

Fortunately this story has a happy ending if your idea of a happy ending is indirectly making LeAnn Rimes pay $12,000 for your vaginal rejuvenation surgery which is literally my exact idea of one to the point that I add it to children’s stories. “And so Wendy said to Peter, ‘Will I ever see you again?’ and Peter replied, “Not until LeAnn Rimes pays to get that pussy fixed!” And off he flew to Neverland, second star to the right, and straight on till morning.” (They love me down at the library.)

Photos: IXOLA/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. LeAnn Rimes Bikini
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey fatty, lose some weight! I can barely scroll down when your lard-ass picture is on the page!

  2. cc

    She left the part out where LeAnn disappeared under the table and 10 seconds later her husband was groaning and going ‘Ohhhhhh, shiiiiiiiiiiit.’

  3. Let me guess, Brandi found hay and oats in their bed?

  4. USDA Prime McBeef

    who the fuck is buying these books?

  5. LeAnn Rimes Bikini
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Your shitty crotch tat is way better than mine.”
    “No, yours is!”

  6. Cock Dr

    The only curiosity I retain is who will dump (or kill) the other first.

  7. LeAnn Rimes Bikini
    Nicchia
    Commented on this photo:

    ICKY!!!

  8. LeAnn Rimes Bikini
    Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bulimic?”
    “No, anorexic. You?”
    “Me, too! It’s like we’re sisters!”

    • Bringbackbabalu

      Why so bitter, Bob? Do you have a fat wife? A fat mother that you live with? What is with you douchebags mindfucking girls today, you can’t even find a girl that doesn’t think she is fat, and you have the gull to insult people who live a healthy lifestyle? Just cause your wife is a size 20 and you hate your job and life doesn’t mean you need to take it out on someone.

  9. mel

    leanne rimes = falcor; the white dragon in “the neverending story”. have a look for yourself! the similarities are hilariously accurate!

    http://ca.images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=A0PDodvdRhFRN1gAmrDtFAx.?ei=UTF-8&n=30&y=Search&fr=yfp-t-715&p=falcor+leann+rimes&fr2=sp-qrw-corr-top&norw=1

  10. Laura

    She’s looking pretty good in that picture. At least she has some meat on her bones.

  11. Marie

    And meanwhile Eddie’s ego is growing by the day all while having sex with other new women. Why do so many women NOT hold their husbands or ex to be accountable for CHOOSING to cheat and lie? They’re usually lying to the other women as well about the real status of their marriage etc.

    • I’d guess Leann isn’t holding her current husband to any non cheating standards because she was cheating on her then current husband, and Cibrian on his then current wife when the 2 of them started doinking each other. You don’t really think any of these people have any standards, morals or self respect, do you?

  12. FlannelMannel

    Oh gosh her FACE!!! Ahhhhhhh! I don’t think there’s a surgery to fix that much fugly.

  13. LeAnn Rimes Bikini
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be LeAnn’s turn to vomit behind the rock.

  14. LeAnn Rimes Bikini
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought she’d look better if she filled out but….jeez….she is just as ugly

  15. Whitney

    LeAnn is so gross. She is nothing compared to Brandi. Brandi will always be a dime, and LeAnn is just lucky to be footing the bill for this guy. HAHA! You’re hideous, LeAnn! You seriously look like a dude.

    • Even hobos can probably scrape up a dime. But yes, she’s not worth higher than that.

    • Bringbackbabalu

      What am I missing, Brandi looks like a 50 year old drag queen, Leann Rimes always looked decent. Also, Leann was the rich one, Brandi is the one that has to do reality shows to pay for her drug and plastic surgery habits. Nice try though. Reality sucks sometimes, gotta hate that!!!

  16. What an idiot

    I wish both these attention whoring twats woud just shut the fuck up. Let Leann go insane; Brandi should just get a life & move on. Stop regurgitating this worthless shit story over and over…

  17. LeAnn Rimes Bikini
    SoHogirl
    Commented on this photo:

    Is LeAnn crazy going to Cabo with Eddie AND her hot friend at the same time? You KNOW he’s trying to screw her too. LeAnn should pick up a copy of Brandi’s book – it’s a cautionary tale. The saying, “if he’ll do it WITH you, he’ll do it TO you” is so true. Ironically, when LeAnn’s marrage falls apart, she’ll probably find a friend in Brandi who knows first hand what it feels like to be screwed over by Eddie.

  18. LeAnn Rimes Bikini
    Dr. Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Are those bruises?

  19. LeAnn Rimes Bikini
    dftgu
    Commented on this photo:

    to brandi- im ugly so what? i fucked your husband haha

  20. Bringbackbabalu

    Can we not hear anymore posts from this Brandi person, whoever the fuck she is? Insulting her weight and chest size makes you seem like a hell of a person, Brandi. Can’t imagine why you can’t keep a man.

  21. Weezie

    Leann is a monkey face ass munch.

  22. dani

    Okay… that’s probably not how it went down. She scripted that just like a reality show. Whatever sells books though!

  23. iss

    the book is educational for dumped wives being left by their husband for other women. instead of wallowing in pity/depression, a wife can survive devastation/failure of her marriage, stand up and be independent. i believe the book has brought the truth although tamer otherwise the moneyed couple (leeann and eddie) will file a case against brandi. i think brandi speaks the truth when she said she will stop bashing the moneyed couple and i hope she will not be provoke esp in social network.

  24. LeAnn Rimes Bikini
    Warren
    Commented on this photo:

    LeAnn is not ugly, she looks great. She is a singer not a model. Anyone calling her ugly has another agenda and they pretend she is ugly.

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