Hot Donna Is Dating Tom Cruise

Photo Boy / November 27, 2013

Posted by Photo Boy

Ever since I saw her naked in Orange Is The New Black, then again in Lay The Favorite (Shut the fuck up, it was on Netflix, and I was drunk.), I’ve had a profound and deep respect for Laura Prepon as a person. Sure, she was always Hot Donna on That ’70s Show, but did I ever know the exact size and shape of her bare breasts? No, no I did not. But now that I do, it’s all the more troubling to find out that Scientology is wasting them on Tom Cruise, who will undoubtedly levitate away from them in terror and probably mind-beam her into never showing them to a camera ever again. It’s like every other time I’ve really gotten into something, and religion came in and ruined it.

1993 – Discovery of masturbation forever accompanied by guilt due to Catholic catechism.
1995 – 2 Live Crew album not purchased for Christmas by parents due to implementation of warning labels.
2001 – Halting of emerging and delicious falafel craze due to assholes in planes.
2013 – Saying early goodbye to friends/family who have to go to fucking work at 6PM on Thanksgiving. (Consumerism is the worst religion of them all and if you don’t believe that you’re probably a dick in a tent outside Best Buy.)

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News, WENN