Honey Boo Boo Slept In The Same Bed As The Child Molester ‘Allegedly’

“All that vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous.”

A few days ago, there was a tiny glimmer of light shining out of the Honey Boo Boo crock pot of shit when TLC announced it will not pay Mama June Shannon in full for the unaired episodes it couldn’t run thanks to her decision to date the man who molested her own daughter. Instead, the money would be placed into trust funds which, as most people guessed in the comments, doesn’t mean shit because apparently the kids already had trust funds, and Mama June raided them to buy the man who molested her daughter a car. Which, once you’re done with this post, is actually the good news because here’s the part where she already let Honey Boo Boo sleep in the same bed as Mark McDaniel. Via Gawker:

While Honey Boo Boo mom Mama June Shannon has denied that she’s dating the man who reportedly molested her then-eight-year-old daughter Anna Cardwell in 2002, new photos show she went on vacation with Mark McDaniel in September. Lee “Uncle Poodle” Thompson, uncle to Mama June’s nine-year-old daughter Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson, also went on the vacation and has published the photos in the National Enquirer.
Uncle Poodle, who went on the trip with his fiancé, claims he did not know anything about child molester Mark McDaniel at the time. Mama June introduced him as her “gay friend.” You can view photos of the vacation here.
Uncle Poodle claims that he and his fiancé shared a hotel room with Mama June, McDaniel, and Honey Boo Boo. “When I woke up in the morning Alana was fast asleep crammed in bed with June and Mark!” he told the Enquirer. “It looked like they were cuddling!”

So remember when Mama June went on E! News and answered “the truth will come out on my side” to almost every single question? Does she know what the word truth means? Because I’m pretty sure she thinks it means photos of her daughter sleeping in the same bed as the child molester who already molested her other daughter because that’s what “came out.” And I’m almost positive that’s not her “side” unless it’s part of her plan to look like a walrus-creature who will immediately sacrifice her children’s innocence to be with her one true love, the child molester, in which case, nailed it. In the meantime, Uncle Poodle is reportedly trying to get temporary custody of Honey Boo Boo using all the money he just made selling everyone these photos. (Everybody figured that part out, right? Okay, good.) TMZ reports:

Our sources say … Poodle and Alan are ready to file for temporary custody if June does not completely sever her relationship with Mark McDaniel. They will not ask for permanent custody because they’d like to see Sugar Bear eventually care for Honey Boo Boo … when he gets back on his feet financially.
They are talking trash about S.B. … calling him “an idiot” for hanging out with June.

Of course, this raises the question of whether or not it’s right for Uncle Poodle to profit off a god-fucking-awful situation, but at the same time, it has brought national attention to something that would’ve otherwise been buried in the backwoods and prompted an investigation by child protective services. Plus the bar is so fucking low here, Uncle Poodle could’ve punched a baby and still came out the hero.

“Sir, why’d you punch that there baby in the mouth?”
“I was angry ’bout the molestin’?”
“Hmm, I guess that checks out. Carry on- wait, ain’t you that gay fella?”
“Yessir.”
“OPEN FIRE.”

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Photo: New Line Cinema (h/t Johnny Barbells)