If you haven’t noticed, the site has been down for the past 12 hours or so. One of the hard drives in our server failed and we lost all the data. Technicians have been working to get the failed drive replaced, but all the archives and forum archives were lost. The good news is we’ve got backups. The bad news is they’re from three months ago.
I’m going to spend my weekend trying to get as much of the site put back up as possible, but all comments since September have been lost. It’s up to you guys to remember exactly what you said and the order you said it in and recreate the comments section. Same goes for the forum. If you registered after September you’re going to have to re-register. I’m really sorry about all this, guys. If it makes you feel any better the past 12 hours feels like we’ve been anally raped by a kodiak bear.
taulen | December 30, 2006 at 1:36 am
Sorry to hear.
Good luck with putting it all back together =)
Philip Ramirez | December 30, 2006 at 1:37 am
it was? It worked fine for me…
Harry Dijon's Ghost | December 30, 2006 at 1:46 am
Ballsack is going to love this. He should buy you guys a new hard drive that fails more often.
By the way, the front page is awesome hilarious and I thank you for making my day less shit.
Philip Ramirez | December 30, 2006 at 1:47 am
Btw…
This is why you should have a RAID 1+0 setup on your servers Mr. Fish. I suggest you bitch slap the tech until he sets it up for you. Basically, it’s a stripe of mirrors. Each HD has a mirror so it’s 1+1 HA. N+1 HA wouldn’t work for a site like this, although it would be more cost effective. Then just make it so that everything older than 2 years goes into a slower/cheaper storage server.
TMQuinn | December 30, 2006 at 2:03 am
Cool!! Now I’m going to go an post ‘FIRST’ in all the forums!!!
FACE!
libtard | December 30, 2006 at 2:11 am
I think I said something like;
1. WHORE!
2. DRUNKEN WHORE!
3. DRUNKEN ANOREXIC WHORE!
4. NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR VAGINA!
5. HA HA, EVERYONE LAUGH AT K-FED!
Trey | December 30, 2006 at 2:39 am
Dang that sucks. Good luck getting it back together.
ploidy | December 30, 2006 at 2:50 am
you poor things! good luck this weekend and keep the awsomeness coming.
Cherokee Chocolate | December 30, 2006 at 3:45 am
Good luck this weekend.
Kg | December 30, 2006 at 4:36 am
There’s a forum…?
Good luck with the repairs =)
NicotineEyePatch | December 30, 2006 at 4:58 am
I guess the ‘Fish DIDN’T get a new strain of supercrabs from those last pics of Paris after all!
I’m glad it’ll only take the weekend to fix. Good luck.
Now what to do with this Kwellada Home Computer Sweeper….
Peter Coffin | December 30, 2006 at 5:19 am
Paris Hilton showering must have just been too damn much for the server. It was too damn much for me. Eeeuhgggg…
biatcho | December 30, 2006 at 5:32 am
I specifically remember calling Libraesque a filthy, whorish lesbian just because I couldn’t think of anything else to write in my hungover state. Then she got pissed because I was right & she can’t figure out how I knew she was a lesbo because she was still in the closet. I’ll tell you how I knew… I am the awesome, that’s why. Think I’m gonna go to bed now.
Binky | December 30, 2006 at 5:49 am
Well most the Archive comments since Sepetember appear to be back up, but it seems he lost all the funny ones.
stevob2006 | December 30, 2006 at 5:51 am
OH NO! The comments, the beautiful comments. It’s mainly ‘FIRST!!!!!!!!!’ anyway. You should ban that type of behaviour.
Fehklar | December 30, 2006 at 6:08 am
Speaking as the Kodiak bear’s attorney, I would like to state that it was NOT rape, but rather was consensual. Prove otherwise bitches!
techclerk | December 30, 2006 at 6:25 am
PHEW! MY POSTS WERE DELETED?
My political career has been saved!
RichPort | December 30, 2006 at 6:36 am
This was the generous act of a benevolent god to remove the troll ranting from us for good. I could have sworn I read about this in Revelations… oh shit, gotta shave my balls… the rapture is surely upon us.
By the way Mr. Fish, you didn’t hear a ‘plick’ did you?
narrator | December 30, 2006 at 6:52 am
don’t bother restoring the archives, here’s a recap of the last 3 months:
RichPort: “I have a big IQ and an even bigger cock.”
jrzmommy: “I’m saracastic and I hate everybody. Shut up and leave now.”
Angry Ferret Jones: “Now I’m really angry!”
PrettyBaby: “You guys seem really cool, can I be your friend?”
that’s pretty much it. now you’re free to go on a 3-day drug/alcohol binge for New Years, as god intended.
fearsarewishes | December 30, 2006 at 7:06 am
Dammit!
Just when things were becoming interesting beteween biatcho and Libraesque the comments dissolve into the ether.
I think it was around the 475th comment…
Pointandlaugh | December 30, 2006 at 7:20 am
aw fish….it’s ok…..Kodiak bears can be rough if you clench. Just need to relax and go with it. If you give the bear some E beforehand, he’s a lot more receptive to your pleas to be gentle.
kingoftheroundtable | December 30, 2006 at 7:24 am
Raped by a kodiak bear? I’ve had that ones, but I have to say…it wasn’t as good as being taken by the duracell rabbit. Boy, let me tell ya!
RichPort | December 30, 2006 at 7:33 am
#19 – Or not…
Glad to see you’re such a voracious reader and note-taker… you should change you name to the stenographer.
BarbadoSlim | December 30, 2006 at 8:09 am
Bleh, getting raped by a Kodiak bear is overrated, now Polar bears on the other hand …
BarbadoSlim | December 30, 2006 at 8:10 am
oops sorry #22, you had that covered.
Nigel | December 30, 2006 at 8:17 am
pffft.. bear.
CLARICE | December 30, 2006 at 8:47 am
I don’t think it’s very fair to make APOTH work all New Year’s Eve trying to fix this.
But anally raping him is okay. I mean…as long as it’s a small bear…
siliconsaint69 | December 30, 2006 at 9:08 am
If you outsource your server, I would put a bullet in the brain of your technician…one backup every three months?! You know how much kiddie porn I’d lose if I only backed up every 3 months?!?!??!?
If you do your own backups, well then shame on you. And shame on me, because I dont have a site 1/10th as sweetass as yours. good luck with the server problems, happy new year!
RichPort | December 30, 2006 at 9:19 am
#19 that is pretty funny though …
but it went more like this:
RichPort: i love me shorn balls and i just can’t stop rubbin em
jrzmommy: now rich, stop that. move over and let mommy take over
RichPort: MOMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
jrzmommy: damn kids. home from school already? go grab a hot pocket, mommy’s busy.
jrzdaddy: hands off my woman port
RichPort: AH AH AHHH AHHHHHH OHHHHHHOHOH MMMMMMM YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
RichPort: Fucking trolls. Posts 19-25 were not me. I can prove it. I was shaving my balls from 5:32am-7:38am.
UNWASHEDMASSES: I’ve been trolled I tell ya! See that hugantic post of my that posted 3x!!!! I’ve been trolled!!!!
jrzmommy: I’d hit it.
RichPort: Yeah, me too.
jrzmommy: Fuck this shit.
Mo | December 30, 2006 at 9:23 am
Beware, Fish – the viruses from the skanky bad-ginas have regenerated and taken down the site! Keep a cross, garlic and silver bullet with you. And alcohol, but that goes without saying. Thanks for keeping us entertained at the cost of your own safety.
Jenna | December 30, 2006 at 9:25 am
We will rebuild….and TCLTC. Still.
frenchtoaststix | December 30, 2006 at 9:34 am
Oh, the humanity! Gone, all gone! The 400 posts through Xmas between mirandawilde, Libraesque, biacho, and jrzmommy debating Brangelina’s charity work! Descriptions of the seamy underbelly that is Shitney’s twat! All the many, many TCLTC’s tragically wiped away! The Ass Ferret troll obsessing over butt-fucking! Damn you Parisite or Hohan for fucking the SF server and giving it a virus.
The upside: No hard-return utterances from herbiefrog.
TCLTC!
Acadia | December 30, 2006 at 9:59 am
My posts get backed up separately. I am sure they will all be there when things turn back on.
mztry | December 30, 2006 at 10:04 am
THIS IS WONDERFUL NEWS! It couldn’t have happened to a nicer website! LOL
Polish your nastiness
Sharpen your tongues
Your potty archives
Have come undone!
“It’s up to you guys to remember exactly what you said and the order you said it in and recreate the comments section.”
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Like these woman hating rejects and celebrity haters could EVER work together to put this stream of crap back together!
“…feels like we’ve been anally raped by a kodiak bear.”
Karma DUDE! You had it coming!
Acadia | December 30, 2006 at 10:15 am
Sorry, I was logged in as my mztry account for that last comment.
amanda8419 | December 30, 2006 at 10:16 am
i was worried last night when I couldnt get in, i thought it had been shut down completely. Glad to see your back!
BarbadoSlim | December 30, 2006 at 10:20 am
@34/35 hahahahaha, uh uh, what the fuck are you going on about?
We are still here
We haven’t changed
We are gonna keep doing the same thing
You are still a douchebag.
urwrong | December 30, 2006 at 10:32 am
What kind of server is not set in a raid config??
You need a server with RAID 5, 4 hardrives, 1 spare, Then connect that server to a backup like a Buffalo Network Backup unit(1 Terra Byte). Works for me, never lost any data, or had a customer that lost any also.
Acadia | December 30, 2006 at 10:41 am
I LOVE REFERRING TO PEOPLE BY NUMBERS
#37 does not read thoroughly
mrlithium | December 30, 2006 at 10:43 am
Need a system admin? I’m for hire. Apparently i’m extremely qualified seeing as I know how to backup more often than every 3 months.
BarbadoSlim | December 30, 2006 at 10:47 am
#39,I read your celebratory ramblings again “t.h.o.r.o.u.g.h.l.y” and guess what, you’re still a douche-bag.
Kristin | December 30, 2006 at 10:52 am
LOL @ #6.
Sucks about ths site though.
VeryLiberating.com | December 30, 2006 at 10:53 am
Hahahahahahahaha
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
http://www.VeryLiberating.com
lysistrata11 | December 30, 2006 at 10:55 am
I find it very interesting, looking back through the archives, that the Angie/Brad post was not returned after the “wipeout”…
HarryNipples | December 30, 2006 at 10:58 am
Just please bring back the Julia Roberts thread, I have a whole list of baby names for her…
carpemundus | December 30, 2006 at 11:05 am
oh shit! bad news!
you can check out http://www.carpemundus.com until thesuperficial gets back up and running. you know, as professional courtesy…
http://www.carpemundus.com – nice guys
BellaNY | December 30, 2006 at 11:22 am
When ya think of it your really not going to miss anything losing your archives because these losers ya write about are just going to fuck up even more in 2007, So why not just start over fresh.
blueman | December 30, 2006 at 11:32 am
FIRST!!!!?????!!!!!????!!!!!!???? or maybee 48? but im going with FIRST
superstar | December 30, 2006 at 11:51 am
Ahh, I like coming onto this site and commenting :( Oh well, the site doesn’t update on weekends anyway and tomorrow is the last day of 2006 :O
RichPort | December 30, 2006 at 11:59 am
#29 – Nice to see Ass Ferret still trying to suck my dick going into the new year. Dude, take a hint: I. Do. Not. Like. Guys. Real nice and slow for ya… (I bet that’s what all the boys say to you…)