Holly Madison Insured Her Breasts For $1 Million

September 29th, 2011 // 47 Comments

In what has to be a shining triumph of the human spirit, Holly Madison has insured her fake breasts for a whopping $1 million through Lloyd’s of London, according to People:

“I’ve heard about people getting body parts insured and I thought, why not?, because if anything happened to my boobs, I’d be out for a few months and I’d probably be out a million dollars,” she said. “I thought I’d cover my assets.”
Madison appears topless during segments of the Vegas show, which, in her mind, made the insurance policy necessary. She also comprehends the quirkiness of it all.
“I think it’s kind of funny. I think they’re getting the credit they deserve,” she said. “They’re my primary money makers right now.

In related news, I’ve just insured these two water balloons for $500,000 because apparently you can just do that now. Also, I’d like this fork appraised at $50 million and this doodle of Superman with a lightsaber hung in the Louvre.

Photo: Fame, WENN


  1. Obi Wan Kenobi

    $1 million for fake tits? What a laugh.

    • They are not even that nice.

    • Photoshop Police

      No G-cheese, Obi Wan is correct. Why would anyone insure such a terrible boob job is beyond me. She should have asked the surgeons for a refund. Lloyds is clearly the sucker in this situation.

      • TomFrank

        No, Lloyds is the WINNER in this situation. Because nothing’s going to happen to those boobs (beyond whatever usually happens to fake ta-tas over time), and Lloyds keeps taking in those premiums—easily in the five figures yearly.

    • 426-Joshua Madison

      Yeah, no kidding, whoever made a some unnecessary idea.

    • Mr Nice Guy

      I have seen her & her tits live at the Vegas. They are perfect.

      You know who hates an GREAT Boobs like hers, Women who can not get attention and Poor men that can not afford the kind of women that get fake tits.

  2. Lloyd sure makes a killing insuring dumb and dumber body parts.

  3. who cares about your bolt on tits? i wanna see that bleached asshole!

  4. Holly Madison Breasts Insured
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell is that? Her butt-plug?

  5. Fish insured his computer for 300 bucks.

    • GeorgeWBush

      No, no, no, you got it all wrong. He insured his Mom’s hand-me-down Fisher Price computer for 300 Dunkin’ Donuts and a can of Red Bull. [WARNING: This comment has gratuitous product placement]

  6. They’re her primary money makers right NOW? As opposed to her previous career as a neurosurgeon, or her future plans to work in humanitarian politics at the UN?

    She’s a goddamn common prostitute, and has SERIOUSLY overvalued her boobs contribution to society…and she apparently really wants us to believe she makes a million bucks every couple months.

  7. xuc

    They aren’t even very impressive, as far as boobs go.

  8. …and her vagina for $1.39.

  9. Sweet Jesus in a tree. I just read the headline for the photos.

    2011 Beautiful Humanitarian Award…North American Hairstyle Award Ceremony

    I cry for our country.
    North American Hairstyle Award Ceremony??? Holly Madison a beautiful humanitarian? For sucking a 100 year old cock?

    It’s times like this I hope for a comet to come smashing into our planet sending us the way of the dinosaurs. We might be in need of a reboot.

    • dick

      Um yeah methinks the nobel going to anwar fucking sadat in ’78 gave a pretty good indication of where we’re headed with all these fucking “awards”

  10. I’m surprised she’s willing to be caught dead in one of those “fat chick elastic resizing” dresses.

  11. Sporange

    What do you insure fake tits with? Fake money of course.

    If one pops they will have to buy 3 or 4 Monopoly sets to pay that claim.

  12. the other LJ

    Check out her implant scars… If you look at the lower cutout in her breastal region (and who wasn’t?!?!) you see the scar and some bruising from her most recent boob job.

  13. Lucy

    Forget the breasts, that face, Ick!!! She looks like a 50 year old woman. Not pretty in the least way.

  14. skunk

    id appraise her boobs with my weiner

  15. wow this bimbo’s basically comparing her tits to fred astaire’s legs, which incidentally were only insured for 150,000. but that astaire actually had mad skilz. i mean for his time. he won everything from emmys to at least one oscar i rem.

    god what a vapid cunt.

    • TomFrank

      “Only insured for $150,000.” I couldn’t pin down (get it? “pin” down?) when Astaire took out this insurance, but adjusting for inflation, $150,000 at any time in the 1930s would be more than $2 million today. Even if it were as late as the ’50s, it would still be over a million.

    • Schmidtler

      And just like this bimbo, Fred Astaire got all the dong he could handle, and then some.

      • good point tom, total brain fart on my part. but his legs were real for fuckssake.

        shmidtler, i doubt he was gay, i mean in the modern sense. he was gay in the old sense tho. verrry gay..

    • dick

      “mad skilz” – ok, fresh prince

  16. Holly Madison Breasts Insured
    Commented on this photo:

    New Insurance Rider: Loss due to friction related heat damage. Optional: Pearl necklace flood insurance.

  17. Holly Madison Breasts Insured
    Commented on this photo:

    What did she insure the scar under the right breast for?

  18. john

    Did she pay extra for the scar under the right breast? I could have done a better surgery with a box cutter!

  19. Tuppy

    I’m ashamed of you people. It’s not how she looks, it’s her personality that’s important. Oh, it’s Holly Madison? Forget I said anything, she’s fucked….

  20. J.

    I agree Lucy- her face is just not that cute and there is just way too much fakeness going on in general with her (the bleach blonde hair with dark brown eyes absolutely kills me)

    As for the boob job- it is VERY run of the mill, you can go to just about any state and see fake tits that don’t look much different than hers.

  21. Wilma

    Vinereal Disease

  22. BrandiLye

    Look on the bright side, she has came a long way from that busted chick that worked at Hooters.

  23. Ms. Whiplash

    I don’t give a shit about her fake boobs or bleached out hair or orange skin….but I’m in the dental business and those fucking picket fence chicklets she’s sporting are god awful!! Did she ask for the “Regis Philbin” or something?

  24. forrest gump

    ………….holly madison doesn’t make that amount of money anyway.

  25. big A

    She probably should have done that 5 years ago when The Girls Next Door was still popular and she still had some of her 15 minutes of fame left.

  26. Holly Madison Breasts Insured
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t give a shit WHAT her tits look like… she a fuckin’ mutt. Ugly as sin. How the hell did she ever get to be so famous?

  27. Holly Madison Breasts Insured
    Commented on this photo:

    couldn t she look more plastic and fake ?

  28. Tootles

    How old is this whore anyways? Probably younger than that old looking hag Brigitte but not by a lot.

  29. Blasto

    Possibly the stupidest thing I’ve heard. I understand a great pianist insuring his hands but what exactly is going to happen to a boob that will render it unusable? I bet the whore is going to pop a tit on purpose to collect the insurance when her act dies.

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