Holly Madison’s Adopting A Baby

July 26th, 2012 // 29 Comments
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Because Hugh Hefner might die before he takes a break from banging younger runaways willing to change a diaper for a buffalo nickel, Holly Madison is in the process of adopting a baby, according to In Touch, who’s apparently going to buy all this busy theater actress talk:

Holly faults her trying schedule, which is jam-packed with events and theater roles, as the main reason she doesn’t have a bundle of joy just yet.
“I love performing in the theater [Translation: Stripping.], and you can’t really do that when you’re pregnant [outside of the South],” the former Girl Next Door star explains.

“It was when my adopted mother looked into my hungry nine-month-old eyes and said these words to me I’ll never forget, ‘No, no, those are just for decoration.’ That’s when I knew I had to carve the demons out of hitchhikers with my Holy Riding Mower of Truth.” – Christopher Hugh Angel Madison vs. City of North Las Vegas

Photos: Getty


  1. Holly Madison Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She is adopting Hugh Hefner? Did not see that one coming….

  2. Kelly

    she dont want to get fat so shes adopting, how noble of her. Will it be a black baby or an asian baby

    • Reality

      This is actually an amazing news. WOuld you really want that to breed and have to live among her offsprings.
      Michael LOhan and his chick should have adopted as well.
      You know the world is gonna end when lohans keep creating and awesome people like Christopher Walken refuse to have kids

  3. Snooki's Taint

    I’m up for it. Mama! I need to feed now, please

  4. Yuuuuup

    Christopher Hugh Angel Madison vs. City of North Las Vegas

    heh. Nice.

  5. USDA Prime McBeef

    Of course she is adopting. Everything is dead inside.

  6. ace11

    Kind of selfish and childish to be a Mom


  7. Wang Fat

    Baby or no baby, this chick gets me harder than Chinese algebra.

  8. Inner Retard

    I need to process this information and the horror it entails for the poor little creature. Wait a minute, do they mean a human baby?!

  9. SeeAlice

    Holly got tired of her pet dog . No she wants a pet kid .

  10. I have never understood the fascination with this broad.
    Dumb beyond dumb, bad implants and a face that looks like it was transplanted off of a 65 year old.

  11. I was going to post the old, middle of the road, “This should end well” comment, but I really think Fish nailed it in that last paragraph. Well done, old boy!

  12. Holly Madison Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, what a pair of fake boobs, caps, nose job, tanning, hair extensions and make-up can do for a woman, oh a photoshop! Yep, she looks, errr great!

    • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

      I suspect she’s actually the result of an experiment in cloning gone awry. Hef mixed genes from one of the late 50s/early 60s playmates with silicone and hoped for the best. The results are before us.

      Sorry about that.

  13. So .. she’s not smart enough to dummy up a better answer than “my schedule” for why she wants to adopt… but she’s smart enough to raise a kid. Got it.

  14. Eddie Baby

    She can’t take a break from stripping to have a baby? More like she doesn’t want to ruin her body, so she can keep stripping.

  15. Sheppy

    Those vacant soulless eyes… *shivers*

  16. jumpin_j

    Theater gigs? I work on Broadway shows (yes really) and I have no idea what $#@! theater she’s working in unless it’s Flashdancers,

    • She has a Vegas show called “Peepshow.” She calls it “theater,” but it’s basically bouncing around in a robe on stage for an hour or so and taking her top off near the end. (And you thought Fish was kidding when he said “Translation: Stripping.”)

      She’s supposed to be the star, but according to the reviews on TripAdvisor, she doesn’t have the biggest part in the show (there’s a storyline and everything), she doesn’t really do that much, and she has no talent besides looking pretty and tits. But no one cares because they pretty much knew that already and people are mostly showing up to see her in the first place.

  17. dontkillthemessenger

    Those African kids dont need a mom that badly.

  18. Holly Madison Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Translation: “I want a kid but I don’t want to ruin my plastic body”

  19. Holly Madison Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what”s not worth ruining that body for? Spawn. Besides, it’s not like her looks will be inherited and she doesn’t have much in the way of brains to pass on. Might as well adopt

  20. Holly Madison Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    so incredibly fake…where is the appeal?

  21. whyask

    I didn’t think she could be less attractive – imagine my surprise.

  22. anonym

    she’s adopting?

    yeah, we don’t give a shit.

  23. Tori

    She’s had too many abortions and taken Plan B too many times to conceive.

  24. Je

    I would like to say that she deserves all the happiness is the world. If she wants to adopt then she is entitiled. Anyone that wants to adopt can. We have seen this. This beautiful woman has everything a beautiful baby needs. I guarantee that she will give up her life for this baby. You look into those eye and you can see she wants and actually cant live without a beautiful baby likeherself.

  25. Joe

    She is beautiful. I believe a total package to the righ person. You dont have to be Olypian. You just have to love what is inside. This woman has never encountered this. Being right isnt good looking. Its all in thing heart. When you look in those beautiful eyes.You can actually feel what and when is the right time.

  26. Holly Madison Bikini
    charles Overgaard
    Commented on this photo:

    What does holly do anyway besides look good,is that her talent

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