Hogan Knows Best – on how to get sued

March 25th, 2008 // 32 Comments

The lawsuit everyone knew was coming was filed yesterday. The Hogans are being sued by the family of John Graziano the young Marine who remains in a coma after being injured in a car crash. John was riding in the the Toyota Supra that Nick Hogan managed to turn into a crushed banana with the help of a tree. And, also, oh I dunno, some booze. The St. Petersburg Times reports:

The suit will seek damages in the millions, said attorney George Tragos, but the exact amount is not known because it remains unclear how expensive Graziano’s care will be. Tragos said the former Marine’s medical bills already exceed $1 million.

Just how injured is John Graziano? Let’s say it’s somewhere between super fucked up and Jesus Christ, they took part of your brain!:

Lawyers today said that a portion of Graziano’s frontal lobe had to be removed because of the crash. He is in a “semi-conscious” state and responds to certain stimuli like heat and touch, lawyers said.

The suit is definitely pointing out well-known facts that Linda Hogan encouraged her son Nick’s reckless driving. And that Hulk also owned the other car that Nick was racing with before he crashed. The driver of that car is also named in the suit. Coincidentally, lawyers also filed a motion that Brooke Hogan should wash my car in a bikini. Or at least they will if they know what’s good for them. *waves donut threateningly* That’s right, son, jelly: The deadliest of the donu – wait, my bad. It’s only peanut butter. Goddammit…

Photo: Getty Images
superficial

  1. josh

    First

  2. dode

    damn the superficial dude lost it. his comments are no longer hilarious. they’re funny but not that funny and they lack the old punch.

    OLD SUPERFICIAL, COME BACK.

  3. dode

    damn the superficial dude lost it. his comments are no longer hilarious. they’re funny but not that funny and they lack the old punch.

    OLD SUPERFICIAL, COME BACK.

  4. FagHag

    Hulk is saying “I fuck that twice a day”

    Daddys shouldn’t fuck their daughters.

    But, on the other hand, Mothers should take care of their sons.

  5. OutRunner1

    The post is not that funny for you because the biggest joke is Brooke’s man-face. Nothing can follow that act.

  6. Shit Face

    Suck my engorged corn hole.

  7. bilbo boggins

    @Josh

    Im sorry, but surfing the net while sitting in your own stinking crusty underwear, while blabbing ‘FIRST’ on this site, does not make you any more of a man.

    now, go wash that underwear before your mother smells it.

  8. sherry

    i would be tuff shit your kid was drunk in a car he took the risk didnt his mama teach him that.

  9. Seems like a perfectly just punishment for torturing and killing innocent civilians in Iraq.

  10. Auntie Kryst

    @8 Sherry, I hope you’re not planning to drive anywhere for a couple more hours. Pour yourself some coffee.

  11. tight lipped smiler

    What do you expect from a son raised by a mother who looks sluttier than the daughter?

  12. zuzuspetals

    This family represents everything that is wrong with the U.S.
    Can we just send them to Iraq and bring all the troops home?
    I think Cheney and Bush should agree that the sacrifice would be worth it.
    And then maybe the rest of the country could promise:
    - Not to drive recklessly and waste oil and human lives
    - Not to worship celebrities who didn’t deserve five minutes of air time in the first place
    - Not to create or watch any more reality TV shows because let’s face it, we’re just not that interesting that we should be recording everything we do
    - Not to ever, ever, ever use tanning products that turn the skin orange
    I might scream if I have to see one more bleached-blonde person with a fake orange tan. I think all of those mutants should be sent to the middle of the desert somewhere WITH NO CAMERAS to record them. Christina Aguilera will be their queen. We need to get them at the nest, people!

  13. tranny knows best

    I will pack a handful of hotdogs into my bikini and wash your car if you are into that.

  14. FagHag

    Sounds like a lot of fun, tranny…………….
    We need to talk. Please…………..

  15. butt action jackson
  16. Jesus Tap Dancing Christ

    The Hulkster must be so proud of his sons. Especially the cross dresser.

  17. Codzilla

    So first our dear Superficial Writer deemed a greasy, meth-faced Britney Spears as “curiously doable.” And now he thinks Brooke Hogan in a bikini is a good thing? What the hell is happening inside your head, man? Whatever it is, I would suggest your coworkers run for their lives. NOW.

  18. Good Bye

    I’m bored and this site is boring today.

    P.S. The mom looks like a man in drag.

  19. fearsarewishes

    #8

    Text message jargon is the new Ebonics.

    BTW sherry, u r 1 stoopid cunt.

    Thank you.

  20. bootlips

    Wiggas are like the plague.

  21. KillMONTAG

    What is with the fingers? does he think he’s Eminem or some other waaaaaay coooooool black guy (tongue in cheek anyone who pulls the finger shit is a fucking nancy boy asswipe)

  22. rusty

    Everyone knows orange, gargantuan, bleach blond trannies are best at washing cars.

  23. Dim Bulb For Jesus

    Why is everyone Orange ?
    The Bollea Effect ?
    Hmmm ….. Maybe it’s just the dim lightng

    Amen Brother !!!!

  24. Brooke Hogan should wash your car in a bikini? I don’t know if I would want to see your car in a bikini…

  25. Moobs

    Hulk is saying: “one in the pink, one in the stink”

    On a side note tho, i sort of feel bad for the hulkster…. I guess because he reminds me a bit of my step dad who is an alright guy, macho type, not all that “smart” but a pretty good heart for a dad.

    His son is typical “dumbass” material so he should have probably known better than to let him drive fast cars. Driving is NO JOKE.

  26. caleb

    This lawsuit would never happen if we had national healthcare.

  27. sharpeidude

    Hulk says; “I’m gonna clip the bitch before she clips my bank account!”

  28. cheryl

    Parents are to blame, there is a kid in a coma probably for the rest of his life, and all the Hogans are worried about is what they lost. Greedy bastards that should be your son in the coma, don’t worry Hogan what goes around comes around~!!

  29. cheryl

    By the way Hulkster, does Linda have a cock??

  30. CAROLYN

    THEN SUED LINDA HOGAN NOT HULK HOGAN TO ME IT’S LINDA FAULT NOT HULK HOGAN FAULT

  31. CAROLYN

    THEN SUED LINDA HOGAN NOT HULK HOGAN TO ME IT’S LINDA FAULT NOT HULK HOGAN FAULT

  32. CAROLYN

    THEN SUED LINDA HOGAN NOT HULK HOGAN TO ME IT’S LINDA FAULT NOT HULK HOGAN FAULT

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