Hillary Clinton Secures Crucial Ginger Sex Worker Endorsement

Remember Vince Foster? Just sayin’.

Because Lindsay Lohan has never been on time for anything, she waited until she basically expatriated to England to start commenting on the presidential election. So here’s her endorsement of Hillary Clinton, which couldn’t come at a better time for the former Secretary of State who’s been struggling with the under-45 but looks way older because of cocaine and rough nightclub janitorial closet sex demographic.

So yeah, that’s obviously the batshit ramblings of meth brain, but could there be a coded message here? If I was a betting man, I’d say “all, together, could, be, done” was the middle stage of an orgy negotiation with a certain future First Husband who may never have gotten a taste of red freckle before a certain Judiciary Committee hearing shut him down, if you catch my drift. It’s Bill. Bill Clinton is trying to pay Lindsay Lohan for sex.

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Instagram