Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe divorcing

May 26th, 2006 // 96 Comments

swank-lowe-divorce.jpgHilary Swank and Chad Lowe announced in January they were separating but had hopes of working through their troubles. Well apparently they’ve given up on that and have decided to just go ahead and divorce. Their lawyer tells People magazine:

“Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe have jointly decided to divorce,” the couple’s lawyer, Jeffrey A. Bernstein, tells PEOPLE. “They continue to be friends and have the utmost respect for one another.”

If you’re anything like me you probably already thought they were divorced. Up until a couple hours ago I didn’t even know there was a difference between separating and divorcing and have been using the words interchangeably. So, uh, if I made any wild allegations before about people being divorced who aren’t actually divorced that’s my bad.

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  1. Fa Cube Itches

    32: You’re supposed to be a Sabbath fan and you have nothing to smash with??? For shame!!

  2. Fa Cube Itches

    Didn’t Hilary break her leg rather badly at the Preakness? Or was the Sarah Jessica Parker? Julia Roberts? One of them, anyway. Get well soon, dearie.

  3. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    She’s a man, baby!!! Is Hillary Swank Lionel Richie’s ( “old horse face” ) secret love child?

    In other news, Chad Lowe has a clit like a small dick, but has decidedly non-equine facial characteristics. Thus, the divorce. Hillary wants kids, and has been unable to conceive across species boundaries.

    Whimper_dildo, yet another dumber than dirt ass clown. There are only 6 words that you will ever need to know in life, “would you like fries with that?” Say it with me, …

  4. pixel killya

    #45

    Was that a Goatboy reference? LOVE IT!

    All I know is Hilary has impossibly plump, round breastessesesesses. Yum.

  5. tsarinaamanda

    She looks like Jennifer Garner’s twin. They are, without a doubt, the two UGLIEST “women” in Hollywood, with Julia Roberts a close third.

  6. Iambananas

    Feed_Me_Chocolate…

    You own a house in San Bernardino, California. The armpit of Couthern California. Don’t be bragging about your martgage on THAT crap.

  7. Iambananas

    And you’re stealing my whole stalking thing about whipper… everyone know’s that half the people on this site are obsessed with me.

  8. Fa Cube Itches

    Actually, I’d vote for Lodi as the armpit of California.

  9. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    ” … the couple’s lawyer, Jeffrey A. Bernstein, tells PEOPLE.”

    Are they are using the same lawyer in the divorce? His wife / mare dumps him when her career takes off, and he is ambivalent. “Sure, we can use the same lawyer, if you think it’s OK.” Chad Lowe is truly without balls.

    @55. Jennifer Garner has a smokin’ body. But, the fact that she had Ben Affleck’s baby somehow makes her much, much, much less attractive. Much.

  10. Pagan Queen

    Feed me

    Whimpy willow will never get a girl. The closest he ever got to female genitalia was at his birth.

    Whimpy – I make 6 figures bitch, custom built my home, drive a bad ass sports car and I am a girl. Want to take me on fucktard. Lets party. Making you cry….shit…I hate to make fags cry – they get all clingy. Oh well, I guess I will adjust.

    Go ahead, fucktard, try to grab a piece.

  11. Fa Cube Itches

    59 – if the divorce is uncontested, it’s not that uncommon to only have one lawyer

  12. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    Women with equine DNA :

    1. Sarah Jessica Parker
    2. Hillary Swank
    3. Celine Dion
    4. Julia Roberts
    5. Anjelica Huston
    6. Nicole Richie
    7. Charlize Theron
    8. Katie Couric
    9. Alanis Morisette
    10. Michael Jackson

    The actress who plays Chloe on 24 almost made the list, but I think she looks more like a constipated squirrel.

  13. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    @59. Uncontested divorce should be an oxymoron. Without balls, I say, …

  14. Pagan Queen

    All the great bravado in post 60 to whimpy and he doesnt even have the balls to answer

    Stupid little sperm burping bitch

  15. lurkerx

    I don’t have the energy to read through this whole things, so a few questions….

    1. Has anyone made the token bestiality joke yet?

    2. Has anyone compared their marriage to a Tijuana donkey show?

    3. How about a bridle and groom joke?

    4. Why are they breaking up? Did he get tired of her chomping at his bit?

  16. Marten

    Where do I start?

    I guess I’ll just say that in a perfect world these two would never have gotten together. I’m not sure what happened to cause it, but I’m pretty sure it’s a deleted scene from The Butterfly Effect…

  17. Chris'sMom

    Does anybody else think that her dress in the picture looks like her head is doing that exocism thing? Kinda creepy. Just a thought.

  18. FreeTime

    Hilary is great! She actually has talent unlike parislindseynichole and every other girl who wants to make a buck off her body on here. Sure I love making fun of them but at least Ms. Swank can actually make a movie thoughtful and entertaining. Thank God she is not as psycho about her looks as the rest of Holy Wood. Gag me.

  19. Hmm, Hilary Swank’s sister is much more feminine than she.

  20. sweetcheeks

    Notice that Hillary has a stronger chin than Chad?

    What an unusual chin on Chad, too… reminiscent of a scrotum, only… lopsided…

    Like a golf ball and a grape stuffed into a infant’s sock. And then stapled where his chin ought to be.

  21. BarbadoSlim

    “Stupid little sperm burping bitch”

    Another classic, I stand in awe.

  22. destination:beautiful

    aah, who cares. she’s gross.

  23. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Yes, lamebananas/whipper_willow, you won’t asnwer anyone’s questions, all you can do is rehash everything you’re ever said in your previous posts, which were reposted from other posts, and those were regurgitated from other posts…it’s the circle of life for you, I guess.

  24. gogoboots

    The look almost related, I don’t blame them…she probably got tired of everyone asking if Chad Lowe was her brother…

  25. andrewthezeppo

    I guess Chad got tired of having to buy oats at the feed store and brushing her tail.

  26. eh… oblah di obla da “Life Goes On”…

  27. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    75 – Only funny thing posted on this thread. Gold star for you.

  28. azcoyote

    And who says two oscars and a tit-job won’t cause strife in a household…. The only question is… Which caused her more empowerment to leave old Chad behind. Does he even work anymore? LOL

  29. Star Maker Machinery

    It’s hard making a gay marriage work.

  30. FreeTime

    Don’t worry retroactive abortions won’t be needed so long as natural selection still works!

  31. FreeTime

    And as we can see from this site, survival of the fittest is working nicely already.

  32. PrincessMuMu

    The only female in Hollywood who has class.

  33. Jezebel

    The Superficial is one of my favorite sites and reading the comments posted makes it even better. You guys are some funny fuckers!
    However, Lamebananas/Wimpy Willow or should I say DEREK SWANSON, you are one glaring exception! You make no sense whatsoever. You post your opinions and if no one responds… start ripping on other people. Then, when people do respond to your lame attempts at flaming… you start whining about how mean or low class they are!
    I promise noone is stalking or obsessing about you — we would just like you to go elsewhere and find like-minded retards such as yourself. Any chance you’re related to Edna Bambrick? Or is that another “ID”?

  34. sissybelle

    I never understood why anyone would marry a Lowe (or a Baldwin) under any conditions. Hilary, my darling, my lamb — move on! You can do SOOOOOOO much better, if you care to.

  35. niquehappy.com

    is he related to Rob Lowe?

  36. TaiTai

    85 he is Rob Lowe’s brother but he looks like Dana Carvey’s love child in that photo.

  37. GoyoDePalm

    Its unfortunate that fame has a price, but probably on the advice of her agent or industry experts, and ‘in light’ of her 2 Oscar Best Actress Wins…she allowed her marriage to falter given a need to have a relationship with someone who is “as successful as herself”. Look back into the
    Oscar past, and you see Julia Roberts,
    Sally Field, and Halle Berry all let their
    current relationships falter right after garnering OSCAR…. Some were married some
    were not…but allowed 4+yr relationships
    to falter. I do know if 3+ time Oscar winners Better Davis & Merle Streep have
    maintained long standing relationships during their Oscar winning years …but I doubt it.

  38. Marten

    Gag me? What, # 68? So this IS the yar 1984…

  39. slinkhard

    Yeah, 87, because it’s always the woman’s full responsibility to keep marriages going. I’m sure none of the guys were emasculated by having wives with more talent than them.

  40. I can’t help but see her as a boy. Who doesn’t cry.

  41. Binky

    This is a lowe blow.

  42. Fisher55

    91, haha

  43. Wow, if you had to ask me who the wife was in that pic……

  44. sweepfast

    Well,

    I fully understand Hilary Swank acts for a living but, she does come off as one of the few good people in the biz. Then again she is a actor so… of course it could be a act.

    Here is something few people may think about with Swank. She came for a poor background so my guess is that she spends most of her time trying to “fit” in with all of the hollywood wack jobs and she even moved to New York to get away from hollywood. The point being, I bet she thinks like a everyday person and looks on divorcing someone as a truely bad thing. I mean in hollyfake few if anything is real.

    My guess is that Lowe looked on the marriage as a score early on because when they married Swank was not making it in the biz. Then she took a big risk and sold herself out for the Boys don’t cry part and from that point on the poor thing has been looked on as a man<—-truely unfair and very mean.

    She did the samething with Million Dollar Baby. It was a big risk because she was playing yet again a strong female part. I think it just goes to show how much talent she has that she can pull off those parts so well. She really made you feel that Maggie was a real person and I am very sure she was drawing of her own life being that she came from a humble start with a big dream.

    She lives a low key lifestyle next to most of the stars so… I think she would be better off looking for a everyday guy that would be happy for her when he does well. As was stated on this board before it’s clear Lowe could not handle her doing better than him as a actor<—-what kind of love is that!!

    As far as her looks go, the key is her smile, she has what I call a loving winning smile. You can see and feel love and joy in it which I think makes her very pretty.

    I hope it works out for her.

    Best wishs Hilary.

  45. Hmm.. not very nice things about Hilarly Swank here. I gotta say that I think it’s rude and mean to say that in public! She shouldn’t do that, it’s up to Chad’s decision if he wants to share it with the public.

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