Hilary Duff filed for a restraining order yesterday claiming she fears for her life because she’s being stalked by a paparazzi and a homeless man. Hilary and her boyfriend Joel Madden claim in court documents that a 19-year-old Russian emigre came to the United States “for the sole purpose of meeting and becoming romantically involved with Ms. Duff.”
The court documents state the man, whose first name is Max, “admitted to being ‘obsessed’ with her, has stated his intention of ‘removing’ his ‘enemies’ (i.e., those who prevent him from being with her), has stated his intention of purchasing a weapon, and has threatened to kill himself and to engage in dramatic actions to get her attention.”
According to the documents, Max “has stated his belief that Hilary is in love with him and that Joel Madden stands in their way.”
The court documents also claim David Joseph Klein, a 50-year-old celebrity photographer who is roommates with Max, is also a threat.
The documents state, “Over the past six weeks, the defendants have engaged in an accelerated effort to make contact with Hilary, including visits to her neighborhood, to her mother’s home, to her boyfriend’s neighborhood … to Mr. Madden’s concert venue, and direct calls to Hilary’s manager.”
According to the documents, the police detained Max at least once at one of Madden’s concerts and questioned Klein at the same event.
These guys could save themselves a lot of trouble if they just visited the local farm and hooked up with a horse. Although to get the full effect they might have to close their eyes and imagine the horse’s teeth are a little bigger. And ignore the curves. Really, they should just glue some teeth onto a box and write “Hilary Duff” on the back.
NipsyHustle | October 13, 2006 at 8:45 am
first
BarbadoSlim | October 13, 2006 at 8:47 am
Stalking means that you’re just not trying hard enough….
NipsyHustle | October 13, 2006 at 8:49 am
personally, i think the only way to get any hilary muff is to be stalkerazzi. hunt her down and drag her back to your cave. stupid joel madden’s been wining and dining this prude for years and probably hasn’t even gotten a chance to peek at the pussy. she wants some thug passion.
lohanjob | October 13, 2006 at 8:49 am
she looks the least like a horse in her entire family. scary.
jrzmommy | October 13, 2006 at 8:52 am
So why isn’t a good old fashioned lynching legal in cases like this? A good ass whipping–and I mean an ass whipping to the nth degree–will solve 99% of the problems in the world today…especially with stalkers.
Madrid Marriott | October 13, 2006 at 8:54 am
Maybe he’s just after her gold mesh index finger sleeve.
Bioplant | October 13, 2006 at 8:57 am
Captain Obvious says that she is very attractive.
Edna Bambrick | October 13, 2006 at 8:58 am
#3, #5, You are REPORTED! I am reporting all disgusting posts. I have 63 names and counting.
BarbadoSlim | October 13, 2006 at 8:59 am
I fucking wonder how this girl doesn’t just hire some ex-Mossad thug and have the dude put down, Jolie style.
jrzmommy | October 13, 2006 at 9:01 am
What’s disgusting about beating someone that’s threatening your life until they back off, Edna? Edna–i’m reporting YOU! You’re a goner!
Angry Ferret Jones | October 13, 2006 at 9:02 am
That sounds like a great idea for the new NBC fall line-up: “A Paparazzi and a Homeless Man.”
They live together in Manhattan, one takes up-skirt photos of B-list has-been celebs, while the other pees in a jar down by the river. At night they join forces to fight crime, and the spread of Lupus.
Tom Hanks will play the Paparazzi, Tom Greene will be the Homeless man, and Tom Cruise will play the jar of pee.
Must-See Thursday’s on NBC!
PS – Hillary, why the long face? hehe.
BigJim | October 13, 2006 at 9:03 am
Holy shit, Edna’s back!
Happy Friday the 13th everyone!
Celebrate this glorious day by putting on a goalie mask and burying an axe into the head of someone you hate.
Like Hillary Duff.
Or Paris Hilton.
Or Edna, the big fat fatty.
jrzmommy | October 13, 2006 at 9:06 am
I’m telling Edna’s Pastor I saw her here. You’re gonna be excommunicated, Edna–you sinner. SINNER!!
Edna Bambrick | October 13, 2006 at 9:06 am
All threats will be reported to Homeland Security. Let’s keep it clean folks.
Jessica_Ellis | October 13, 2006 at 9:06 am
Oh yeah, like she’s pretty than me. PLEASE!
RichPort | October 13, 2006 at 9:08 am
Ms. Duff is hallucinating that she’s being chased… by a sandwich.
Edna, please wait until you have 68 names before you report me, so I of course can be #69, in honor of that semen deluge I spewed upon you lovely librarian glasses. Good times man, good times.
Italian Stallion | October 13, 2006 at 9:08 am
The horse joke isn’t funny, fuckers……
Although I do wonder if Baba Booey is her father……..
Angry Ferret Jones | October 13, 2006 at 9:09 am
#8 – Edna, are you off your meds again? You quirky little cunt, maybe you should go see your doctor and ask him to up your doseage.
Better yet, take your 63 names, print them on a piece of paper, roll it up as tight as you can, lick the end, and shove it right up your ass.
Add me to your list. And be to sure to go to the top of the list and in big bold letters write These Are Bad People That I Should Fear and then keep the list in a safe place. Maybe hide it in your withered-up worm-infested snatch, that way no one will ever find it.
I love you in that thing I saw you in.
AFJ
BigJim | October 13, 2006 at 9:09 am
Edna, please report this Jessica bitch. Tell the FBI that she’s about to go on a school shooting rampage.
Please inform the authorities that she is armed and dangerous and that a Rodney King style beating is in order. Tazers are good too.
If she were to be fatally shot during her arrest, we’d all be pretty much cool with that.
Angry Ferret Jones | October 13, 2006 at 9:13 am
Stallion, you should date the Duff. With her face, and your giant horse-c*ck you two could sire quite the steed!
Edna Bambrick | October 13, 2006 at 9:13 am
#18, REPORTED!
Brain Embolism | October 13, 2006 at 9:13 am
@12 – Triskaidekaphobia, fuck yeah!
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Triskaidekaphobia
NipsyHustle | October 13, 2006 at 9:14 am
Edna—somewhere there is a hallway that misses its monitor. Please hurry back to Suck D. Nuts High School.
Angry Ferret Jones | October 13, 2006 at 9:14 am
Nice!!!
That’s right baby, let the poison out….MMmmmmmmmmmm, Christian Angst…
I dine on your putrid ignorance, crazy bitch!!!!
Angry Ferret Jones | October 13, 2006 at 9:14 am
Brain, how you living.
Edna suffers from Stickyourdickinherphobia.
Wampoon.com | October 13, 2006 at 9:17 am
I wonder how I would look with teeth like that…
http://wampoon.com
sharkbite | October 13, 2006 at 9:18 am
She looks interesting with the brown hair.
http://www.temptalia.com
Brain Embolism | October 13, 2006 at 9:18 am
Ferret, you are on fire today on this post.
Keep them yuck-yucks a-coming.
Hypenated for your pleasure!
ApacheRose | October 13, 2006 at 9:19 am
Ferret, just when I thought I couldn’t love you more…. you post #18
commissioner | October 13, 2006 at 9:20 am
Stop!
I’m laughing so hard the tears are rolling down my face. And I have a facial and botox appointment in thirty fucking minutes. I can’t see my doctor with puffy red eyes!
BigJim, Jessica just needs a hug. From a noose.
FrootPie | October 13, 2006 at 9:20 am
Edna, I was wondering if you could help me out. My neighbor’s cat keeps shitting in my yard, but the cops in my town won’t do anything about it, and the Feds won’t answer my calls anymore. If I send you a picture of the cat, would you please report it to Homeland Security? I would very much appreciate your help in this matter.
jrzmommy | October 13, 2006 at 9:23 am
Why do I think Edna is a lot like the Sleeping Cat Lady from My Name Is Earl last night?
UNWASHEDMASSES | October 13, 2006 at 9:23 am
Figures it would be a Russian – they are so fucking weird. 40 years of cold war, and when you finally meet one they act like semi-fag retards with 80′s fashion sense. Red Dawn is never quite the same…
Angry Ferret Jones | October 13, 2006 at 9:25 am
Edna, seriously though. I know you are a closet nympho. What is it going to take for you to unbutton the top of your corset and show us those love-pillows of yours?
I bet they are amazing.
Imagine that, 54 year-old breasts that have never been seen by another human being. They probably contain the sure for cancer, since you are such a pure and vestile old bat.
Come on baby, give the Ferret some love.
luxy | October 13, 2006 at 9:27 am
I’m pretty new to the Superficial, so forgive me – but is this Edna bird for real?
Isn’t it a bit late to start reporting people, I thought the whole point was to be as offensive as possible – otherwise where would be the fun?
Binky | October 13, 2006 at 9:27 am
Joel Madden ? I always thought she was hooked up with John Madden.
But ‘Max’ should really wake up. Wake up. Especially on Saturday night. I mean really. Too much travel for trouble-free stalking.
She could be in New York. Maybe Hollywood and Vine. London, Paris or maybe Tokyo.
(my apologies for knowing a Hillary Duff song)
RichPort | October 13, 2006 at 9:30 am
Headna, thanks for making Ferret 64 and for giving him a reason to give me a reason to scare my co-workers with manic laughter… only 5 more to go…
Christian bullies are funny
commissioner | October 13, 2006 at 9:32 am
#36
It’s alright if you’re a closet Duff fan. I watched a Duff movie because the man I am stalking, Chris Noth, was in it. He will always be my Mr. Big. I just wish he’d bleach his teeth.
jrzmommy | October 13, 2006 at 9:32 am
‘Sup Commish.
jrzmommy | October 13, 2006 at 9:36 am
I’m going to have my own fragrance, too. It’ll smell like vodka, orange jujyfruits and the purple ink from ditto paper — anyone else old enough to remember that smell? WEll, that’s what I want MY fragrance to smell like. And I’ll call it
Shrew! By Jrzmommy
commissioner | October 13, 2006 at 9:38 am
yo, jrz.
Just paying the bills.
ponk | October 13, 2006 at 9:39 am
Edna, in an effort to help Rich reach the magical #69, i request that you report me as well…to either Homeland Security or Ass-Rapers Anonymous (your choice), you stupid fucking cunt.
RichPort | October 13, 2006 at 9:40 am
Hillary really should have named her scent something more appropriate, like HUNGER or EMACIATED.
Brain Embolism | October 13, 2006 at 9:42 am
#40 – jrzmommy, I miss the smell of purple ink from ditto paper.
It smelled like……….. victory!
Superflyhoney | October 13, 2006 at 9:46 am
Does Horseface have new teeth AGAIN???
jrzmommy | October 13, 2006 at 9:46 am
Brain, it smelled like……..TEST!
FrootPie | October 13, 2006 at 9:46 am
jrzmommy, I hope Shrew will be on the market in time for Christmas. I would love to get a bottle in my stocking.
jrzmommy | October 13, 2006 at 9:49 am
The bottle will be in the shape of my hand passing out the Jersey Salute…and on my middle finger will be a huge honkin’ diamond.
James | October 13, 2006 at 9:51 am
If she’s a prude I’d be shocked. She’d be only one of few famous women with class if she were indeed a prude. Gotta be a prude in this sick cesspool world to be safe. Prude rules.
ponk | October 13, 2006 at 9:55 am
it’s a good thing potato sacks are fashionable right now – helps hide anorexia/bulimia.