Hilary Duff apparently wants you to touch her

Hilary Duff, who I forgot even existed, just released her new video on MySpace and surprise! She’s trying to shed her Disney image by being the sexy bad girl. Originality strikes again, folks. While I give Hilary points for humping a lawn statute (No joke.), how many times am I going to see a former child-star caressing her pushed-up breasts to sell CDs? The answer: Not enough.

NOTE: Jamie Lynn Spears, do NOT do a sexy bad girl video in a few years while you’re pregnant with your third (or possibly fifth) child. I know the idea sounds great on paper/the KFC napkin you doodled on with a drumstick, but it’s not. That said, should you and Casey Alridge miraculously figure out how a condom or birth control pills work (mouth not the ear), then by all means, PROCEED.