Hilary Duff apparently wants you to touch her

October 30th, 2008 // 119 Comments

Hilary Duff, who I forgot even existed, just released her new video on MySpace and surprise! She’s trying to shed her Disney image by being the sexy bad girl. Originality strikes again, folks. While I give Hilary points for humping a lawn statute (No joke.), how many times am I going to see a former child-star caressing her pushed-up breasts to sell CDs? The answer: Not enough.

NOTE: Jamie Lynn Spears, do NOT do a sexy bad girl video in a few years while you’re pregnant with your third (or possibly fifth) child. I know the idea sounds great on paper/the KFC napkin you doodled on with a drumstick, but it’s not. That said, should you and Casey Alridge miraculously figure out how a condom or birth control pills work (mouth not the ear), then by all means, PROCEED.


  1. mimi

    FISH is an ASSHOLE!

  2. Cliff Clavin

    Stuff the Duff

  3. mike

    Me and my goat are first again BITCHES!!! SUCK IT!!!!

  4. mimi

    AMY is a BITCH!

  5. Cliff Clavin

    Mimi is a bigger Asshole!

  6. Sport

    Trampiness sells.
    Thanks Brittney.

  7. @1 And you are what comes out !!

  8. mimi

    LAME to scream FIRST when you aren’t.


  9. Kim

    I kind of used to like the original song, until she butchered it!

  10. MIMI

    JIMBO YOU are an elephant dick!

  11. OJ's Mom

    How the hell can Duff have a “Best Of” album??? The few things she has done all ate shit on a stick.

    “Best Of” colelctions are for actual musicians, not contrived Disney bullshit singers.

    Someone should punch this cunt in the throat.

  12. SATAN

    this chick is the least sexy popstar in the entire world
    where’s samantha mumba, i’d totally fuck her

  13. Cliff Clavin

    He could have typed faster if he took his hand out of his goat’s ass!

  14. bob

    I remember her . a sexy girl!!!!!!!! Several days ago, I saw her sexy photos and videos on a sports community ==mysportsdate.com== it’s the real place where hot cougars and milfs hang out with sexy young men!! My friends told me so, gonna check it out!!

  15. mimi

    Cliff… find one and jump!

  16. SATAN

    there is nothing sext about hilary duff. nothing.
    bring back samantha mumba and her sleek black/irish body with the cans

  17. Gerald_Tarrant

    She’s still just a bubblegum pop star. The cutesy Disney tweener music is the same. To change her image she needs to let me film a sex tape with her and I and then have it “stolen”. Ripping off Personal Jesus from Depeche Mode isn’t the way.

  18. mimi. Thank you.

  19. meee

    come on…grammar…it’s “you’re pregnant” not “your”.

  20. Cliff Clavin

    I will as long as I can land on your lard ass.

  21. dragon43078

    Poor girl. I was waiting for her to start singing “womanizer”. She is trying to copy Brittney. She could have found a better role model in the garbage.

  22. Pete Ofile

    I’d take my huge veiny cock and stuff it deep inside her tight little legal asshole, and slam her skull into the headboard a few dozen times, get her all bewildered and dizzy, then pull out and unleash about 15 streams of hot semen tainted with her shit all over her face and mouth…now suck on it bitch, that’s right, taste your shit on my cock…..

  23. easymilt

    Aw. Lame Hillary Duff, Jamelia did it two years before you! AND BETTER!!!


  24. Sarah Palin's Boy Toy

    Got woman issues? Pete.

  25. Jibbly Biggins

    Sorry. Marilyn Manson did it better!

    This is just hyped up pop music that tries not to push too hard.

  26. ToTellTheTruth

    Is this bitch serious? I get SO TIRED of motherfuckers singing OTHER people’s songs like THEY wrote it…..

  27. great. Rwach out and touch faith. I have my own personal jesus right here.

  28. Ed

    If I were a member of Depeche Mode, I would kill myself just so I could be spinning in my grave over this abomination!

  29. I’d rather touch the guys from Depeche Mode.

  30. Deacon Jones

    This sigreat, she looks very fuckable. I ahd to pause it a couple times when she was sucking on the thumb with the whore lipstick on.

    What’s funny about this video is the fact that this does more to make 15, 16 yr old girls into raging tramps than anything else does, as much as all the Republicans decry all the other shit.

    Keep it up Hillary!

  31. pelps

    Hilary Duff used to be good; and all my friends on ” Matchrich. com ” loved her!! so, what happened to her? don’t think she’s copying-others kinda of star! so, wake up from this nighmare!! and surprise us with real you!!

  32. Peeps

    She looks like a trannie in half those shots.

  33. BunnyButt

    Looks like a suburban soccer mom playing dress up.

  34. norton

    Apparently when you hit 21 you cross the line from wholesome to whore?

  35. Some Guy

    If she really wants to distance herself from her child star image, she should do a porno. She can use Depeche Mode music for the film and I’d be totally cool with it. I don’t think I care what she does until then.

  36. De

    Funny… it kind of sounds like Marilyn Mansons cover of “Personal Jesus”..

    I’m just sayin…

  37. Linnea

    Great stylist, makeup artist, director, artistic director, set designer, cinematographer, and probably a lot of other things I don’t know the names of.
    But that voice… that voice was atrocious.

  38. bar room hero

    She needs to go away, and take that ‘mullet-spawn’ with her.

    Tho, I would still ‘ Duff ‘ her, probably…

  39. Lexoka

    Wow, take Personal Jesus, remove the talent, add a sorta-hot blonde trying too hard, and that’s what you get.

  40. Rough Daddy

    And the or in of can table

  41. Sarah Palin's Boy Toy

    #40 – ? ? ?

  42. Malorie

    that physically hurt me.

  43. mamadough

    why the hell are her eyes always puffy? she needs to quit taking money shots in the face. show her how it’s done mimi!

  44. Ahof

    Nice try. She really can’t pull off sexy. Not only is she trying too hard, but it’s kind of sad that EVERYONE seems to eventually lower themselves to this level. Had our world gotten to the place where the only thing that people want to see are complete sluts? Pathetic.

  45. Rough Daddy

    wat sarah pallins boy toy? you cann’t undersand english. not my falt that you are moron and can”t get real man like,,,,,,, me

  46. Tom

    Auto-tune, pitch shifter, cover song.
    Completely uncreative.

  47. Kaila

    You all need to quit hatin! You know she looks good and the song isn’t any worse than the other crap on the radio right now. I think it’s sad that she felt like she had to do a video like this, but you can thank America for that. Get over it.. you ALL know that if you saw her on the street looking like that you would look again- she’s beautiful.

  48. Sgt. C. Foxtrot

    @44 What’s wrong with an easy lay with no strings attached? Nuthin’.

  49. mamadough

    @47, when you finally get your period for the first time, try not to bleed out onto your unicorn pillow. and quit trying to squeeze so hard to get that fart out, it’s called bloating and is part of the natural process.

  50. Sarah Palin's Boy Toy

    I sea u poynt u make. Wee are produk of Amercan educashon sistem. Obama fix thatt. He libirel and promus he mayded.

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