Hilary Duff’s Butt Made A Music Video About Her Tinder Dates

Here’s Hilary Duff’s new music video for “Sparks” that’s all about her Tinder dates because apparently she felt I needed musical accompaniment for all those times she swiped left on my face. She’s always thinking of me. In the meantime, yes, all of the dudes in this video are dead, and yes, I have alibis for the exact time and date of those deaths. As for how I would know that information if I wasn’t the killer, Jesus spoke to me in a dream just like The Bible says he does. You dare question the Word of God?!

EDIT: Did I say Jesus was God earlier? Because I meant this screencap of Hilary Duff’s cameltoe. That’s who tells me what to do now and is worthy of my tithes and offering. *chants* ♫ For as it is written, shall it be done… ♫ *leaves dead mouse on Hilary Duff’s porch* ♫ Haaaaa-le-luuu-jaaaaah ♫

Photos: YouTube