Hilary Duff’s Calling Off The Divorce

By: The Superficial / April 11, 2014

Because apparently it’s Get Back Together With People Who Should Be Me Goddammit Week, Radar reports Hilary Duff is working things out with Mike Comrie after the two started hooking up back in February. Which essentially means they spent a month not having sex or barely talking to each other which is almost the exact definition of a marriage, so I don’t get how they’re even calling themselves separated. The important thing is that Mike Comrie figured out that this trick never stops working:

“Hilary, just listen to me. Just listen to me for one sec-”
“No, Mike, I’m done. There’s nothing left to say.”
“Then you leave me no choice. *pulls out diamond ring* Will you marry me?”
“Sonofa… Take off your pants.”
“Okay, I’m probably an idiot for even asking this, but how the hell did that just work?”
“My father never hugged me.”
“Oh.”
“So you’re basically exploiting an involuntary psychological reflex.”
“I see.”
“You still want me to blow you, don’t you?”
“Well, my pants are already off…”

Photos: FameFlynet