Hilary Duff Is Single

When Mike Comrie proposed to Hilary Duff she promptly blew him, so right off the bat none of this makes sense. If that’s not the start of a successful marriage, then we might as well cancel them all because they’re a house of lies. TMZ reports:

Hilary Duff and ex-NHL star Mike Comrie have just announced they’ve separated … and it’s pretty obvious divorce is just a matter of time.
The couple says they “have mutually decided to an amicable separation” and will “remain best friends and will continue to be in each other’s lives.”

Wow. Well then, on that note, I just want Hilary Duff to know that I love children and blowjobs. No, not at the same time! Goddammit, you guys, I’m trying to talk to Hilary here. Don’t make this weird. Now where were we? Oh, right, so when you got really big after your first kid that was a fluke, right? (God, I’m so in.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN