Your move, Jessica Simpson.
Way too on the nose, I know, but she earned it. Damn, woman.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News
BREAKING: Hilary Duff’s Post-Pregnant Body Upgraded From ‘Unfortunate’ To ‘Brick Shithouse’
August 24th, 2012 // 90 Comments
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I think that should have read “shitty brickhouse”.
Awww… Too think I almost swallowed you…
Pixey manure hallowed me wanting was
MY MAN!
Now this is just an egg wash and some flower to get you ready for your hot oil bath.
uh, *flour….sorry everyone, sorry.
Big ass, small ass. Lose the baby weight or don’t, doesn’t matter.
For her poor bastard husband sex is never the same again after the baby.
The end of sexuality is at hand, and she can use anything even remotely ‘baby related’ to shut it down. Ah well, join the club brother.
Poor you :(
I lol when my brother in law keeps pushing my sister to have a kid (she still doesn’t want to), I’m like “The little sex she lets you have with her now is going to be significantly less after you have a kid. And don’t even get me started on her neurosis. It gets worse after childbirth.”
I really think people don’t think through before having kids. There’s good and tons of bad as well.
any other advice for us on how to have more sex with your sister? does she like anal? fisting? will she dress up in costumes?
like the husband is some fucking prize. he looks like he gained a shit ton of weight himself.
Well he only had to undergo three hip surgeries– the final one being career ending. What is your excuse for being a fat ass?
So nice to see she is hanging out with Jessica Simpson to share advice on shedding the baby weight
wait. what’s so bad about this again? she looks just fine to me.
I’ll take this one: “Brick shithouse” is a compliment. Listen to the accompanying song.
Anyone remember the A&W Root Beer commercials with the walking bear? He had a theme song too, that’s what goes through my head when I see that picture “Bwadumbadum dum dadadadumdum, dadumdadum, dadum, dadumdum …”
I don’t see anything wrong with the way Hillary looks- she’s always so pretty, even with some extra meat on her bones. Jessica, on the other hand, looks terrible.
Nothing wrong at all? The size 16 jeans she has painted on isn’t an issue? Now I understand that the average Joanne has accepted the lofty weights set as the norm but as a celebrity, if she wants to maintain a career THAT Body will not allow her to continue. No one wants to see the ‘average’ woman on TV or in movies, why? We are surrounded by you, which is why a movie or TV actress is special, different. She’s an ideal figure in a sea of Manatee …
she’s hardly a size 16. also, not sure what kind of career she’s even trying to maintain. can’t remember the last thing she was in. maybe she’s retired and couldn’t give two shits about being on tv.
She looks about the same as me and i’m a size 4-6 (I have an ass, but am by no means fat). All the other celebs are a 00-2, so in comparison she looks big, but in real life I’m sure you’d be eating your heart out – especially for someone who’s just had a kid!
Wait—”brick shithouse” isn’t a compliment? I thought it was.
I don’t understand you kids today and your lingo.
The Facebook comment thread confirms that 1) yes, it’s a compliment; and 2) you kids today don’t understand the term. Now get off my lawn!
hehehehe
*hearts Tommeh*
LOL at the men shitting on her body. Like your all partners look like Kate Upton. Stop worshipping women who are out of your league, they would chew you up and spit you up at a bar. You know it.
Besides, Hilary has always looked like that. The only variation her square body has ever had is that time she was super anorexic. That wasn’t a good look.
Exactly, she’s never has a nice figure, even when she was skinny, she didn’t have a waist or boobs or ass…
had*
I guess neither of you saw War inc.?
The woman just had a baby, Jesus, are you really that harsh on her body figure after?
i’m guessing you’ve missed the 5 other posts about hillary’s size since she’s birthed the kid.
now is precisely the time that you need to be showering her with compliments about how great she looks (dont have to mean it, just try to sound convincing). this way, when hollywood pressure forces her into some sort of freaky diet whatever, and she gets skinny again you’ll be guy who stood by her and not the a-holes that made moo noises at her. it’s all about seeding for the future: every fat chick has the potential to be a hottie and they all have long memories
Seriously. Women can change their bodies so easily if that is what they want to do, anyway. Hard training, diet and make over. Even plastic surgery. But if you’re a man with a small penis, balding and short there’s nothing you can do, buddy, it’s OVER. Might as well develope a dark sense of humor and leave “funny” comments on gossip sites.
Hahaha bullshit. Even the few chicks who manage to get thin after shitting out kids are a mass of rendundant skin and doughy muscle tone. Pregnancy is a certifiable body wrecker.
Best comment.
you’re forgetting that there’s no cure for ‘old’ – nobody gives a shit when the 50 year old hausfrau tones up a little. there’s a new crop of hotties born every day, and all any guy, at any age, any height, any weight has to do to end up ass deep in prime new poon is have a pile of cash in the bank.
but hey, you just keep telling yourself whatever makes you feel good there, fatso.
Where are the bricks? All I see is Shithouse.
that ass is begging for a spanking
Look Fish, we cant all be Miranda fucking Kerr. It takes 9 months for our bodies to turn into that pile of dammit, can we please get a 9 month grace period to get it back?
. yes it takes time for a woman to get back in shape after a pregnancy. yes she is short so it takes longer for her to get back in shape than a taller girl. but guess what. she made no progress and her career depended upon guys getting erections and jerking off to her. So she deserves every nasty comment she gets.even that 1000 year old hag low budget soft core porn star Kari wuhrer is 5’4″ or so and got back in great shape after 3 kids.
Whoa, whoa… Kari Wuhrer’s been making low-budget soft-core porn all this time and I didn’t know about it?
*hops over to IMDB*
she really don’t look that big.
fuck you lack of editing feature! doesn’t… not don’t.
are you posting this from the space station?
so cute!
She’s not Nicole Eggert–that’s something. Right?
Isn’t that a little harsh and over the top? She looks fine. She did just have a baby, and did Jessica Simpson.
*as did Jessica Simpson
As a woman who has kids, I willtell you the sex DOES become less and less BUT its only because we are doing ALL thehousework,watching the brats all day and by the time night rolls around we are too damn tired…heres the thing..you want that sex and blowjobs…START helping out with the housework..dont want sex then proceed as usual.
AGREED!! Men are so friggen stupid! Women have 2 full time jobs now with only 8 hours of sleep as a break. They lose all of their hobbies, downtime, fun…while men continue with their hockey twice a week, easy office jobs etc Damned straight, the sex stops.
1. Despite what Oprah would tell you, raising kids is not a full time job, it’s a priviledge.
2. I’m sure you knew what the circumstances would be with the guy before you had them.
3. If you feel your situation is so horrible, I challenge you to improve it. Earn youself one of those ‘easy office jobs’ or find a better man.
Now tell me what an asshole I am for suggeting you help yourself
The guy who’s into getting fisted by dragons is right. It’s a goddamn privilege to run around after little kids all day. And at night, when your husband comes home from hockey practice (and a few beers with the guys afterwards) you should still find the energy to get down on your knees and blow him. That’s your lot in life, ladies.
Either women should just stop having sex with men or stop complaining….can’t have it both ways.
FAT WOMEN SHOULD NEVER WEAR SKINNY JEANS!
No one should wear skinny jeans.
Seriously, I don’t need to see your shit. I don’t care how good looking you might think you are…
Most, if not all, people high on themselves are pretty questionable looking (or worse) anyway.
Nope. Still not there yet.
Brick Shithouse is absolutely a compliment. Stop being stupid, Fish.
He *meant* it as a compliment. Stop being stupid, JentheBod.
baby – That chick over there is far fitter. I wish she was my mom.
The biggest problem with putting on weight is that you have to keep upgrading your BFF so that you’re still the skinny one.
still still liking this
How are this many people getting confused about the words in the title of the post? Upgrade is a good thing. Brick shithouse is a good thing.
I KNOW, RIGHT? God, I’m sad about the brainpower of this country now. Sad-der.
because fish is using the term ‘brick shithouse’ completely wrong. some one who is built like a brick shithouse is built rock solid, not flabby and fat like this broad.
She’s definitely back to fuckable status.
Why is she driving a hearse?
You people are fucking idiots. Saying someone is stacked like a brick shithouse is a compliment. SFW is saying she is looking solid and good. Jessica Simpson still looks like the Grinch-who-stole-all-the-fast-food.
You don’t make any sense. They look the same, so why is it ok for Hilary Duff to be rather fat in the ass but Jessica doesn’t get the same dispensation? You reek of bias!
Is ‘brick shithouse’ supposed to mean really good?? ‘Cause she does look really good, not even just for just having a baby. ‘Brick shithouse’ just sounds like she looks crappy… I’m confused.
“UPGRADE”! LISTEN TO THE SONG! OH MAHHH GAAAAAHHHHH!!!1! [sobs]
Ah, now I see
She looks like she’d smell like cheese.
Mmm cheeese.
You people making fun of her because of her weight are just being mean. Give the girl a break, she was pregnant almost as long as Bonnie from Family Guy. She’ll get her figure back [eventually].
How about just ‘brickhouse’? :)
how about ‘she’s as big as a house. she looks like shit’?
That ass needs to be motorboated.
That baby is so cute it hurts my uterus.
I’ve never been so damned depressed at the end of a Superficial comment thread before.
My face is stuck to the desk.
Brick Shithouse?
Maybe the resolution of my monitor is off, but that ass looks wide to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying she’s ugly or anything, but there’s nothing overly hot about her (unless you’re a chubby chaser).
Hollywood needs to let MOTHERS ENJOY MOTHERHOOD. I’m SURE SHE DOESN’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF HER!!!
gold digger much?
are you talking about her husband??
There’s a certain porn theme as a new career waiting this lady.
She’s got a gorgeous face. Don’t listen to the haters Hil!
I think she looks happy and beautiful.
I hate this site. So hateful! She looks great!!!
I would bang her hot ass at least twice daily if I were so lucky.
I thought I was going to get pissed reading the comments about her but I am pleasantly surprised. Nice to see people appreciate a body that isn’t a malnourished skeleton with skin.
She looks perfectly fine…stop talkin crap bout her body
lololol, those tree trunks sticking out of those tacky anklebooties. lol so bad. Are those pajama jeans for chrissakes?
I would totally get with that.