BREAKING: Hilary Duff’s Post-Pregnant Body Upgraded From ‘Unfortunate’ To ‘Brick Shithouse’

August 24th, 2012 // 90 Comments

Your move, Jessica Simpson.

 

Way too on the nose, I know, but she earned it. Damn, woman.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. p216

    I think that should have read “shitty brickhouse”.

  2. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Awww… Too think I almost swallowed you…

  3. Dan Quayle

    Pixey manure hallowed me wanting was

  4. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Now this is just an egg wash and some flower to get you ready for your hot oil bath.

  5. FruitLoop

    Big ass, small ass. Lose the baby weight or don’t, doesn’t matter.
    For her poor bastard husband sex is never the same again after the baby.

    The end of sexuality is at hand, and she can use anything even remotely ‘baby related’ to shut it down. Ah well, join the club brother.

    • Annie

      Poor you :(

      I lol when my brother in law keeps pushing my sister to have a kid (she still doesn’t want to), I’m like “The little sex she lets you have with her now is going to be significantly less after you have a kid. And don’t even get me started on her neurosis. It gets worse after childbirth.”

      I really think people don’t think through before having kids. There’s good and tons of bad as well.

      • Schmidtler

        any other advice for us on how to have more sex with your sister? does she like anal? fisting? will she dress up in costumes?

    • mrsmass

      like the husband is some fucking prize. he looks like he gained a shit ton of weight himself.

      • anonymous

        Well he only had to undergo three hip surgeries– the final one being career ending. What is your excuse for being a fat ass?

  6. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Snoozeroony
    Commented on this photo:

    So nice to see she is hanging out with Jessica Simpson to share advice on shedding the baby weight

  7. adcomp

    wait. what’s so bad about this again? she looks just fine to me.

  8. Anyone remember the A&W Root Beer commercials with the walking bear? He had a theme song too, that’s what goes through my head when I see that picture “Bwadumbadum dum dadadadumdum, dadumdadum, dadum, dadumdum …”

  9. I don’t see anything wrong with the way Hillary looks- she’s always so pretty, even with some extra meat on her bones. Jessica, on the other hand, looks terrible.

    • Nothing wrong at all? The size 16 jeans she has painted on isn’t an issue? Now I understand that the average Joanne has accepted the lofty weights set as the norm but as a celebrity, if she wants to maintain a career THAT Body will not allow her to continue. No one wants to see the ‘average’ woman on TV or in movies, why? We are surrounded by you, which is why a movie or TV actress is special, different. She’s an ideal figure in a sea of Manatee …

      • mrsmass

        she’s hardly a size 16. also, not sure what kind of career she’s even trying to maintain. can’t remember the last thing she was in. maybe she’s retired and couldn’t give two shits about being on tv.

      • lease

        She looks about the same as me and i’m a size 4-6 (I have an ass, but am by no means fat). All the other celebs are a 00-2, so in comparison she looks big, but in real life I’m sure you’d be eating your heart out – especially for someone who’s just had a kid!

    • Wait—”brick shithouse” isn’t a compliment? I thought it was.

      I don’t understand you kids today and your lingo.

  10. Annie

    LOL at the men shitting on her body. Like your all partners look like Kate Upton. Stop worshipping women who are out of your league, they would chew you up and spit you up at a bar. You know it.

    Besides, Hilary has always looked like that. The only variation her square body has ever had is that time she was super anorexic. That wasn’t a good look.

  11. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    jessica
    Commented on this photo:

    The woman just had a baby, Jesus, are you really that harsh on her body figure after?

    • mrsmass

      i’m guessing you’ve missed the 5 other posts about hillary’s size since she’s birthed the kid.

  12. Gin&Tonic

    now is precisely the time that you need to be showering her with compliments about how great she looks (dont have to mean it, just try to sound convincing). this way, when hollywood pressure forces her into some sort of freaky diet whatever, and she gets skinny again you’ll be guy who stood by her and not the a-holes that made moo noises at her. it’s all about seeding for the future: every fat chick has the potential to be a hottie and they all have long memories

    • Annie

      Seriously. Women can change their bodies so easily if that is what they want to do, anyway. Hard training, diet and make over. Even plastic surgery. But if you’re a man with a small penis, balding and short there’s nothing you can do, buddy, it’s OVER. Might as well develope a dark sense of humor and leave “funny” comments on gossip sites.

      • Joaquin ingles

        Hahaha bullshit. Even the few chicks who manage to get thin after shitting out kids are a mass of rendundant skin and doughy muscle tone. Pregnancy is a certifiable body wrecker.

      • Cristina

        Best comment.

      • Schmidtler

        you’re forgetting that there’s no cure for ‘old’ – nobody gives a shit when the 50 year old hausfrau tones up a little. there’s a new crop of hotties born every day, and all any guy, at any age, any height, any weight has to do to end up ass deep in prime new poon is have a pile of cash in the bank.
        but hey, you just keep telling yourself whatever makes you feel good there, fatso.

  13. Where are the bricks? All I see is Shithouse.

  14. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    ben dover
    Commented on this photo:

    that ass is begging for a spanking

  15. Look Fish, we cant all be Miranda fucking Kerr. It takes 9 months for our bodies to turn into that pile of dammit, can we please get a 9 month grace period to get it back?

    • Emma Watson's Vagina

      . yes it takes time for a woman to get back in shape after a pregnancy. yes she is short so it takes longer for her to get back in shape than a taller girl. but guess what. she made no progress and her career depended upon guys getting erections and jerking off to her. So she deserves every nasty comment she gets.even that 1000 year old hag low budget soft core porn star Kari wuhrer is 5’4″ or so and got back in great shape after 3 kids.

  16. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    mrsmass
    Commented on this photo:

    she really don’t look that big.

  17. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    maeby
    Commented on this photo:

    so cute!

  18. Basement Jack

    She’s not Nicole Eggert–that’s something. Right?

  19. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Laura
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t that a little harsh and over the top? She looks fine. She did just have a baby, and did Jessica Simpson.

  20. j.j

    As a woman who has kids, I willtell you the sex DOES become less and less BUT its only because we are doing ALL thehousework,watching the brats all day and by the time night rolls around we are too damn tired…heres the thing..you want that sex and blowjobs…START helping out with the housework..dont want sex then proceed as usual.

    • erika

      AGREED!! Men are so friggen stupid! Women have 2 full time jobs now with only 8 hours of sleep as a break. They lose all of their hobbies, downtime, fun…while men continue with their hockey twice a week, easy office jobs etc Damned straight, the sex stops.

      • RisingDragonFist

        1. Despite what Oprah would tell you, raising kids is not a full time job, it’s a priviledge.
        2. I’m sure you knew what the circumstances would be with the guy before you had them.
        3. If you feel your situation is so horrible, I challenge you to improve it. Earn youself one of those ‘easy office jobs’ or find a better man.

        Now tell me what an asshole I am for suggeting you help yourself

      • The guy who’s into getting fisted by dragons is right. It’s a goddamn privilege to run around after little kids all day. And at night, when your husband comes home from hockey practice (and a few beers with the guys afterwards) you should still find the energy to get down on your knees and blow him. That’s your lot in life, ladies.

      • Either women should just stop having sex with men or stop complaining….can’t have it both ways.

  21. barack barry

    FAT WOMEN SHOULD NEVER WEAR SKINNY JEANS!

    • Blech

      No one should wear skinny jeans.

      Seriously, I don’t need to see your shit. I don’t care how good looking you might think you are…

      Most, if not all, people high on themselves are pretty questionable looking (or worse) anyway.

  22. tlmck

    Nope. Still not there yet.

  23. JentheBod

    Brick Shithouse is absolutely a compliment. Stop being stupid, Fish.

  24. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    baby – That chick over there is far fitter. I wish she was my mom.

  25. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    The biggest problem with putting on weight is that you have to keep upgrading your BFF so that you’re still the skinny one.

  26. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    still still liking this

  27. How are this many people getting confused about the words in the title of the post? Upgrade is a good thing. Brick shithouse is a good thing.

    • I KNOW, RIGHT? God, I’m sad about the brainpower of this country now. Sad-der.

    • Schmidtler

      because fish is using the term ‘brick shithouse’ completely wrong. some one who is built like a brick shithouse is built rock solid, not flabby and fat like this broad.

  28. She’s definitely back to fuckable status.

  29. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is she driving a hearse?

  30. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    MelissaSue
    Commented on this photo:

    You people are fucking idiots. Saying someone is stacked like a brick shithouse is a compliment. SFW is saying she is looking solid and good. Jessica Simpson still looks like the Grinch-who-stole-all-the-fast-food.

    • DrDetroit

      You don’t make any sense. They look the same, so why is it ok for Hilary Duff to be rather fat in the ass but Jessica doesn’t get the same dispensation? You reek of bias!

  31. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Rose
    Commented on this photo:

    Is ‘brick shithouse’ supposed to mean really good?? ‘Cause she does look really good, not even just for just having a baby. ‘Brick shithouse’ just sounds like she looks crappy… I’m confused.

  32. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Anderson Pooper
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she’d smell like cheese.

  33. Helen Keller

    You people making fun of her because of her weight are just being mean. Give the girl a break, she was pregnant almost as long as Bonnie from Family Guy. She’ll get her figure back [eventually].

  34. Blech

    How about just ‘brickhouse’? :)

  35. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Melvin
    Commented on this photo:

    That ass needs to be motorboated.

  36. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    That baby is so cute it hurts my uterus.

  37. I’ve never been so damned depressed at the end of a Superficial comment thread before.

  38. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    just say'n
    Commented on this photo:

    Brick Shithouse?
    Maybe the resolution of my monitor is off, but that ass looks wide to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying she’s ugly or anything, but there’s nothing overly hot about her (unless you’re a chubby chaser).

  39. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    baloo
    Commented on this photo:

    Hollywood needs to let MOTHERS ENJOY MOTHERHOOD. I’m SURE SHE DOESN’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF HER!!!

  40. that skinny girl all the fatties hate

    gold digger much?

  41. Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

    There’s a certain porn theme as a new career waiting this lady.

  42. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Nina
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got a gorgeous face. Don’t listen to the haters Hil!

  43. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Tg
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she looks happy and beautiful.

  44. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Adam
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate this site. So hateful! She looks great!!!

  45. Sammy

    I would bang her hot ass at least twice daily if I were so lucky.

  46. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    hooooot
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought I was going to get pissed reading the comments about her but I am pleasantly surprised. Nice to see people appreciate a body that isn’t a malnourished skeleton with skin.

  47. cookie

    She looks perfectly fine…stop talkin crap bout her body

  48. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    DrDetroit
    Commented on this photo:

    lololol, those tree trunks sticking out of those tacky anklebooties. lol so bad. Are those pajama jeans for chrissakes?

  49. Hilary Duff Butt Post-Pregnant
    Ricochet
    Commented on this photo:

    I would totally get with that.

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