I Swear To God, Hilary Duff’s Ass, I Don’t Even Know Who Blake Lively Is

May 16th, 2014 // 43 Comments

It’s been two years since I’ve used this song on a Hilary Duff post, so I’m pretty sure I’ve earned the right to use it again in lieu of commentary that won’t do these pics anywhere near the justice they deserve. Unless you want me to talk about why I drew an X-wing on my penis and a Death Star on my hand because I can. I’ve got time.

Photos: Fame/Flynet


  1. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
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  2. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
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  3. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Study this photo if you find yourself irresistibly drawn towards the GOP honeytrap.

  4. MILF in all her glory ;)

    Hilary booty never gets old :)

  5. Name (Invisible)


  6. Oh BABY

    The 80s called, and they want their painted on jeans back. This gal’s a bit too chunky to be wearing them.

  7. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
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  8. i’d love to put my hotdog between those buns!

  9. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
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    Oh please, she’s a sloppy looking cow that wandered out of the cow paddies.

  10. it had to be said

    I like the part where the kids who have yet to touch a booby in real life call Duff and “bratwurst” and a “cow.” Wait until you get a couple of real women naked. You are in for a huge surprise! Spanx it is!

    • Hitting the Big Time

      From someone who spent his 30s and 40s dating girls much to
      young, and enjoying it far too much. Skinny little models look
      cool and take nice pictures, but the rides I remember were always
      someone who’s built like Duff. You want some muscle on her bones,
      not a fatty, but a tunnel with touch. Someday when you’re far too
      old to enjoy it any longer “in real life” those are the days you truly
      remember. I’d do Duff anywhere, anytime, any way she wanted,
      if I could… loll

      • jim

        As long as you have enough coin this puckbunny will let you ‘hit it big time’ all day/every day [at least till your bank account starts to dry up].

  11. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
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    The war between Duff and Lively over ownership of Fish’s penis rages on…

  12. Mark

    What is the draw? She’s chunkier than both Britney and Jessica Simpson; yet for some strange reason some of you will deride both of them, and then turn around and want to kiss this piggies ass. Some of you really are schizoid.

    • Mel Gibson's Shrink

      It probably has to do with the fact that Hilary is not psychotic, stupid or farts in public.

    • …i only agree with you on one aspect: i don’t get all the britney & jessica hate either …i think all three should be equally lauded for their thick, curvy goodness …if you lust after stick figures, then you’ll never get it, likewise with us who love the curvy ones …let’s all just agree to disagree.

  13. Blake is way hotter than Hilary. No contest. Hilary’s face is obviously better, but Blake’s body is hard to beat.

  14. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
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    But as long as you a thicky-thicky-thick giAnnotaterl you know that it’s on

  15. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
    Sloppy Redneck
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    I would love to make a romantic movie with me and her butt cheeks.

  16. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
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    Her next gig will be that of tight-end for the 2014-15 Chicago Bears.

  17. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
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    I will happily pay up to $5 for a video of her squirming into those jeans

  18. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
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    If your thigh meat bulges out of the rips of your jeans, you need to try the next size up.

  19. Keith

    Really? How can Blake Lively and Hilary Duff be somebody’s top two? They are polar opposites! Blake Lively works out like crazy and is in amazing shape and Hilary Duff looks like a typical lazy cute chick you might run into at Walmart. Obviously women love the fact that you put her in the same class as Blake Lively but I think it’s very strange. Hilary Duff is cute at best and clearly doesn’t give a crap about fitness or how she looks. She squeezes her fat ass into mom jeans like 95% of women in the USA – that deserves a medal?

    • So what’s your point?

    • …yeah, fish, this guy (who apparently knows them both personally because he’s very familiar with their fitness routines) is right: how can you find two completely different women physically attractive? don’t you know you’re only allowed to find one body type attractive and that’s it??? how dare you express any type of variety in your tastes, you philistine.

  20. farmer Ted

    SUE – EEE…
    SUE – EEE…

  21. Yep, even straight girls gotta shout.

  22. bob

    She’s not hot. You’re retarded and your shit’s all fucked up.

  23. JungleRed

    I’ll just go ahead and assume the Fish is a black dude. Or he’s Robert Crumb. That’s the only way to explain this Hilary Duff obsession.

  24. Sam

    Maybe she’s not hot by the rediculous criteria set up by hollywood and all the world’s superhot the internet can bring to you, but in the real world, given half a chance, any dude posting here would happily hit that and do so and as long as they could..let’s all try and remember that truth when we, the nobodys talk shit about the somebodys..

    • Teddy R

      I literally would not hit that unless it was a desperation bang. I don’t claim to be out there nailing 9′s and 10′s all day but Hilary Duff is in worse shape than any chick I’ve ever been with. Her face is cut and if she got into shape she could be pretty attractive but she could be laying here spread eagle right now and I’d rather jerk off to that Kendall Jenner picture (okay… well if she was showing a bit more boob).

    • sam, some dudes are just really fucked up when it comes to chicks… i mean, i’m not into skinny chicks, although there are exceptions to the rule, generally they do nothing for me… but, i’m not MAD at them for being skinny! …the rage & venom vented by these dudes toward these women for no other reason than they look a certain way is just plain weird …lindsay is a train-wreck of epic proportions and deserves every name she’s ever been called… and even though i worship coco, i admit she brings it on herself with her constant attention-whoring… but what did hilary duff (or jessica simpson) ever do, besides have the audacity to walk around in public with that body? …some of us think she’s smokin’ hot, you guys don’t, fine, we get it, so why are ya’ll gettin’ so worked up about it? what’s that about?

      • goodwolfe21

        I’m with you JB, I don’t get the hate; to me it’s about the girl more than the “type”, but I still generally prefer “curvy” girls..do these people know in person just how skinny some of these model types are? Anyway, back to Hilary, as with others, it’s about more than just her body, though hers is the body of a “real” woman, and she has a beautiful face to go with it, and then on top of that, she also has personality and attitude that also add a lot to her total appeal….not criticizing anybody’s taste, but I have seen a few runway models up close in person….and I found them scary skinny, but I don’t judge for anybody else…

  25. Teddy R

    FYI, by “cut” face I meant “cute” – in case you were confused (slightly different meaning).

  26. Hilary Duff Butt Skin Tight Jeans
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    Does she paint those on with a brush or a roller? Maybe an airless sprayer? Either way, well done!

  27. …between the tides, bananas, and this …how can you not believe in god? could man do this??? i say thee NAY!!!

  28. Marketing Mike

    Yea, you guys bash Hillary and you bash Fish, and you bash
    older guys like me who’ve been around for a while. Go ahead.
    I bet $100 if Hillary was sliding over from the chair to reward you,
    like she did the night that dick she married proposed, you’d all
    beg for it as she unzipped your pants. Stupid Little fuckers…. loll..

    • Jessie's girl

      Mike Comrie and his immediate family are worth well in excess of 1/2 billion dollars. When you have that kind of cash laying around girls will do just about anything you want when you propose to them. When you’re broke or the money is gone, not so much.

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