Aaron Carter Wants Hilary Duff Back

March 6th, 2014 // 39 Comments
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When we last left Aaron Carter he was filing for bankruptcy which does not put one in a prime position to purchase diamond engagement rings for the blowjobbing. And yet here he is very publicly stating his undying commitment to winning Hilary Duff back now that she’s single again because meth destroys the mind. Just eats it right up:

Don’t be that stupid douche that loses the love of your life forever.. Like me…
I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to better myself to get back to her. I don’t care what ANY of you think.
That tweet just gave me an anxiety attack
..people who have no idea who I am and/or what I’ve been through. If you’re that interested watch my interviews or google me.
At least I’m real and don’t hide behind the persona of being a celebrity and an entertainer, &try to portray positive feelings all the time
On a lighter note it’s almost Easter and I want tons of candy to eat!!

And here’s where Justin Bieber should be taking notes because, again, this is his future, and even Aaron Carter knows it takes more than just “you’re a princess” to win a girl back. And by more I mean monkey emoticons. It’s all about monkey emoticons. You could practically hear Hilary Duff ovulating when A-Party drop that. Trufax.

Photo: Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. He wants lots of candy? Yeah, he’s totally not on meth anymore.

    On another note, I want her back AND her front.

  2. JC

    “people who have no idea who I am and/or what I’ve been through. If you’re that interested watch my interviews or google me.”

    No one’s interested, Aaron. Hence the bankruptcy.

  3. Monkey emoticons? How can she resist? She’s probably basting in her own juices right now. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m a little moist right now.

  4. At least meth doesn’t affect your vision.

  5. Johnny Barbells

    “Aaron Carter Wants Hilary Duff Back”
    …who the fuck does’nt??? i’ve never had her and i want her back …and front …and sides

    • Box

      If your bank account has enough zeros I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to have you too.
      That’s how gold diggers roll.

  6. Quinn L

    ham-hock arms on Duff

  7. malaka

    many people think that being with a superficial, pampered and spoiled girl that everyone is trying to have sex with make them happy.
    i aint gonna lie. i’ve very much wanted to have sex with the duff for years. but so does everyone else and their mother.
    which means that for her, any of us is just a dime a dozen and entirely insignificant.
    whatcha really oughtta do, is find yourself a nice slightly chunky good girl who likes to cook for you.

    you wont have to deal with everyone constantly hitting on her.
    you wont have to compete for her attention, and you will know that she is there because she genuinely cares about you and actually wants to be close to you.

    she will make you cookies.
    she will clean your house without you asking her to.
    she might even end up doing your laundry and cleaning your dishes. and all you have to do is be kind to her.

    sure, good girls are horrible in bed compared to the psycho bitch nympho bad girls who drive us crazy.
    but if you are a generous lover, the good girl may allow you to slowly corrupt her sexually.

    so i know that i’m over generalizing just a bit, but
    in summery, the sexy dream girls are merely sex toys who turn out to be horrible bitches.
    the sweet and cuddly good girls are the ones who really make for good partners.

    • So true. But we have to reach for the unattainable then settle for mediocrity when we fail.

    • Are you looking for a mate or a mother? Super creepy advice either way.

      • malaka

        a good friend, whose mother actually just passed away a couple of weeks ago, once told me that the only woman who will ever completely love you unconditionally no matter what, is your mom.

        this lends credence to many of the freudian theories that men grow up looking for mates whom they believe share characteristics of, or who could potentially fill the role of a mother or even their own mothers.

        the same may be true of father daughter relationships.

        i’m not going to deny that there are elements of creepiness in all of this, but i think that much of the creepiness you are feeling is just as much your own feelings that you are projecting.

        if you cannot enjoy another person thoughtfully preparing food for you or caring for you in many other ways, that’s fine. to each his own. still, i’m sure there are innumerable people who can relate to what i am saying as universal truth.

      • Inner Retard

        Not all mothers are created equal. Some love themselves more than anything or anyone. Which always made me ask, why do they have kids then? Just look at many celebrity parents.

      • “a good friend, whose mother actually just passed away a couple of weeks ago, once told me that the only woman who will ever completely love you unconditionally no matter what, is your mom.”

        It’s true. The rest you have to treat with decency and respect. The subservient/ownership tone of your post is where the creepy feeling comes in for me. I’m not a teenager and don’t want someone to pick up after me. I want an equal, not a servant who puts out.

      • It makes me so sad when people bring up Freud as anything more than a charlatan.

      • Get back to Psych class malaka, this is neither the time nor place to be presenting your bogus theories of women/human nature/relationships

    • Inner Retard

      Have to agree. The hotter the girl the more trouble they are usually and completely useless as a wife-mother. But that doesn’t mean a chunky girl would be any better. There are some real bitchy ones there too. Mostly because they are chunky and hate the world for it.

    • emma Watson's Vagina

      in response to your summary:

      with dreamgirls. they tend to be bitches and more anti-social. the looks goes to their head. if they are naturally thin it really goes to their heads , and they end up going through guys like water. the older they get the less likely a guy will put up with them. and they usually end up alone. but you got chunkies that are also bitches as well. the only difference is they will talk or date you faster or even talk or date you. a bonus is if they have a kid or two. some also tend to be anti-social as well.

    • D-chi

      Your misogyny is showing.

    • So… gain their trust and then exploit them for kinky sex and assorted domestic duties to include making cookies? And all you have to do is treat them nice? … Who knew?

    • Shorter version:

      If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
      Never make a pretty woman your wife
      So from my personal point of view
      Get an ugly girl to marry you.

  8. Hilary Duff Cleavage Yoga Pants Pilates Class
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    You can’t blame a man for missing dat moon bounce ass.

  9. Hilary Duff Cleavage Yoga Pants Pilates Class
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa! Hello to dat ass!

  10. Hilary Duff Cleavage Yoga Pants Pilates Class
    Dirty Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to punch that butt with my powerful right uppercut.

  11. Meth addled desperation wets panties to the point of decay.

  12. Aaron Carter was my generation’s Justin Bieber (sort of). I remember being infatuated with him when I was 11 years old and all of my friends made fun of me for it. I bought his CD, Oh Aaron, in 2001 and masturbated to his voice almost daily. My favorite track was “Not Too Young, Not Too Old” (featuring Nick Carter).

    Once he became a reptilian-looking meth head, I quickly learned that putting people on pedestals only leads to pain and disappointment. It was a valuable lesson.

    Aaron, if you’re reading this, I just want to thank you for teaching me such a valuable lesson. I hope you manage to stay clean and focus on your craft, whatever it may be.

  13. Suck it Aaron, you blew it man. Aaron wants Hilary back but I don’t think she wants him back at all, she can do so much better.

  14. dontkillthemessenger

    I want Hillary Duff and Meth back.

    (Not in that order.)

  15. tk

    He would take Lohan back if he could get he back. Loser should stay lost

  16. Hilary Duff Cleavage Yoga Pants Pilates Class
    mikeJ
    Commented on this photo:

    i wish she would show her armpits more. i bet they are delicious

  17. Hilary Duff Cleavage Yoga Pants Pilates Class
    goodwolfe21
    Commented on this photo:

    ..sorry, I find Hilary Duff amazing….nothing she can do would make me think otherwise…I can’t help it…..she is extremely desirable..

  18. She has been rolling around in at least $300,000 worth of cars these days, Aaron isn’t even remotely close to getting back with her, he does not even have Backstreet Boys residual checks.

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