Watch Out Tinder, Brad Pitt Is “Casually Dating”

Name: Brad Pitt

Age: 54

Hobbies: Sculpting, coffee, cigarettes, listening to Fleet Foxes in the guest house of a house that I paid for, but am being shunned like a dog who shit on the rug. Look, it was just a couple drinks, things got a little out of hand, sure I said some things… maybe I hit the kid, I don’t know. Not looking for anything serious, a friend actually dared me to start this tinder acct. LOL (also no kids plz, I got enough).

**Swipe right for YES. Swipe left for NO.**

It’s been a little over a year since Angelina Jolie screeched in a frequency only dogs could hear and vanished into a thousand bats, taking both her and the children out of Brad Pitt’s life. According to the GQ confession interview he did over the summer, he’s tried to clean up his act (and his reputation) since everyone found out he was sort of an abusive boozehound with a deep-seeded longing to steal heavy machinery at airports. He’s Brad Pitt, motherfucker.

According to People, Brad has been bringing chicks back to whatever pool house he’s holed up in on days where Angie won’t let him see the kids.

“Brad and Angie are doing OK, working out time for him to be with the kids which he treasures,” says the source. He’s also been “casually dating,” according to the source. “He has been going out but there is nothing serious in the dating area at all, nothing to speak of at this point,” adds the insider. (from People)

This is good. This is progress. A few months back there were whispers that Brangelina could possibly rise from the ashes and set the rest of Los Angeles ablaze, but now it seems like we can finally lay that to rest. Great stuff, because I couldn’t go through this whole thing again in a couple years when Brad finally falls off the wagon with a couple Leinenkugel’s and gets into a yelling match over politics with Jon Voight.

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