Here’s The Final ‘Beauty and the Beast’ Trailer, Alright? Jesus

Because we don’t even try to hide that we will chase SEO no matter the trending topic – Mr. Clean squeegeeing that ass, ladies? – here is the final official US trailer for the live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast starring that girl with the surprisingly awesome butt that Harry Potter never touched, and not-Ron Perlman so I don’t give a shit. But the internet sure does. There are goddamn reaction videos for this thing already! I’m not long for this world. But it’s cool because Disney doesn’t need my money since they’ve ingeniously found a way to shit gold bars by remaking their classics with live actors that don’t take five years and/or animators dying from exhaustion to film. That said, they’ll probably still get $5.99 out of me when I watch this on Amazon like I did with Pete’s Dragon and totally didn’t cry or say, “Gosh, that was an emotional romp about the power of family.” You’ll never prove it!

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Photo: Disney