Here’s How That Donald Sterling Thing Is Going

April 29th, 2014 // 58 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

Yesterday we learned what a racist pile of dogshit Donald Sterling‘s been for most of his life, so today we’re going to drum our fingers together with glee pretending the the mass exodus of Clippers sponsorships will have any real effect on his life. The sad fact is that even if the NBA had the authority to force him to sell the team, which it seems they don’t, he stands to make HALF A BILLION DOLLARS on that sale, since he bought it for around twelve million. And while his son-in-law throws him under the bus and his estranged wife publicly denounces his statements, even she’s not willing to go through with a divorce because it would literally cost them too much money to figure out how much money they have. (They jointly own more real estate in LA County than any other property owner.) So basically, he’s getting a shitload of negative press, lost the NAACP Lifetime Achievement Award he tried to buy and will definitely face fines from the league. So we’re back to money again, which – if you haven’t picked up the subtle suggestion – HE HAS A SHITLOAD OF. What I’m saying, in the most long-winded and admittedly Internet boobs-less way), is Sterling hasn’t violated federal or state law. This whole thing will put a tiny dent in his massive wallet and he’ll take a small social hit from the few super wealthy friends who need to pretend to give a shit for some reason, all while we gnash our teeth and debate about the state of racism in America. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go try to find someone’s nipple photos to trade in for small amounts of paper so I can eat.

Photo: WENN


  1. Proving once again, that the only color that matter is green.

    • Fuckin A! The Old Cunt is worth > $1 billion. That kind of monetary power = social/political powers ,the Gods would envy. Its morally sad but I bet if he gave a person a million bucks to call them every derogatory term on this planet for 6 months , MF’s would be lining up for that kind of punishment. (:

    • But seeing as how he basically tried to buy his second NAACP lifetime achievement award, I think it will sting in the long run. Not because he gives two shits about what the black community in LA thinks of him, but it was obviously done to further the public’s perception of him. Yeah, he’ll profit hugely when he’ll finally be forced into selling the Clippers, but so? There really isn’t anything out there that he can’t already buy now – except another NBA (or any other sports) franchise. That will be denied him, and because he can’t have it, it will grate. He won’t be able to be courtside for anything without everyone commenting that he’s been disgraced, that he’s not there as an owner, and how he had the franchise taken away, and how his girlfriend made him her bitch because he was too stupid to watch his mouth, and whatever else they can heap on him in the way of scorn. It’s that loss of power and prestige of ownership that will – hopefully – hurt him.

  2. Deacon Jones

    Isn’t taping someone via phone conversation, and then “going to settlement” extortion?

    How is what she’s doing legal? people go to jail all of the time over this.

    • Captain Sarcasm

      I was wondering the same thing. When that guy tried to sell Letterman a screenplay about Letterman banging his interns it was called extortion. I guess it matters who makes first contact. She leaked the tapes and he went to her with an offer.

      • Given how little tape was released, and how much damage it has done to his reputation, one can only wonder what’s on the rest of the tape that would make him approach her with an offer. I shudder to think what else he may have been saying about those “beautiful black bodies.”

    • What does it matter? Her lawyer says she didn’t release the tapes, which is total bullshit obviously, but her denial might cover her legally.

      And regardless of how the tapes were acquired,he said what he said. From the context of their conversation it was clearly not the first time they’d had such a discussion. Sterling has been a known discriminator and racist for a very long time. His 25 year old girlfriend, who was clearly not in it for the money, just decided to use it against him if he ever pissed her off.

    • Seriously. And then when they get to jail, you don’t have to pay them shit.

    • For anyone to “go to jail” he’d have to make a criminal complaint against her first. The state is the one who would decide whether there’s any grounds for prosecution, but they’re not going to bust down the door and haul anyone off for “extortion” unless they have a complainant who’s going to cooperate with that prosecution.

    • Smapdi

      As for one part of your question, state laws vary regarding if one or both parties have to be aware of a recording being made before it is considered illegal:

    • If my home security system that you paid for in the condo you bought me records all audio and video and stores it on DVR and I was sitting in my home talking to you on speakerphone and the security system happened to record this conversation, then you are shit out of luck.

      If his wife had not been the greedy dickbag that she is trying to sue this chick that she openly knew for years was his mistress for the shit that her husband freely gave her, then they would not be in this shit today. Bitch had billions of dollars and it was still not enough, now she cost her husband his team and his reputation.

      • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

        *** If his wife had not been the greedy dickbag that she is trying to sue this chick that she openly knew for years was his mistress for the shit that her husband freely gave her, then they would not be in this shit today. ***

        The greedy always end up consuming themselves. It’s one of the delicious ironies of existence.

  3. Captain Sarcasm

    Its hard to tell on my monitor, does Donald Sterling’s fake tan make him darker than Smokey Robinson?

  4. Since that chick just cut herself off from sugar daddy with a color issue,she might have to go back to being a bottle rat at a club.

  5. kenny

    He’s rich and he’s a racist.. get over it, when will people realize you can’t make others think differently.

    • Captain Sarcasm

      You can’t make people think differently, but you can express outrage when you find something outrageous. Get over that.

      • kenny

        Nope, hating people that hate just makes you look like a bigger fool… get over that.

      • Captain Sarcasm

        I don’t hate him. I pity him. And you too.

      • Oh BABY

        I don’t see any of your spineless liberal douche bags getting your panties twisted over the racist comments Harry Reid made recently; the man’s only the Senate majority leader, and in a position to do far more social harm than a basketball team owner.

        Your outrage is as selective as your facts are. Get over yourself.

      • Congratulations on being the first dickhead to inject politics into the post. Don’t ever change.

        Just so you know for the future Mr. BABY, politics isn’t sports. The discussions should be more nuanced than “My side is great. Your side is all stupid and stuff.”

      • You know, you were doing just fine, right up until you used “nuanced”. Now Oh BABY won’t be able to figure out what the rest of the sentence means.

      • Captain Sarcasm

        The problem with the internet is that anybody can get on it and say anything they want. The commie liberals should stop posting their opinions so that conservatives don’t have to put up with contrary opinions.

      • I was kind of hoping Babydick would take a sabbatical while Fish was gone. Replenish its bile or whatever.

    • Leftcoastnative

      So that’s your rationalization for your racism?

  6. kenny

    I love how there’s a thumbnail of Katy Perry doing “Jewface” right above this… Ironic much?

  7. If you think about it, Sterling is “a little” racist. Still racist, but there are way more people out there that are a LOT more racist than him.
    If any members of the KKK had a billion dollars, do you think they would date a half black chick and give dozens of black guys millions of dollars ? This guy, somehow, has an NAACP award.
    This whole thing is fucking crazy. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a racist and shouldn’t be around a sporting event ever again, but it’s so weird.

    • I think a large part of the controversy is in the context of his being an owner of a NBA team—which is to say, a team made up mostly of African-American players, in a league made up mostly of African-Americans (75-80%). Sterling’s attitude fosters an unsetting plantation mentality, and if you think that’s a stretch of the imagination, consider that former GM Elgin Baylor said Sterling repeatedly referred to his players as “poor black kids” and distinctly wanted a white head coach to oversee the team.

      No, it’s not Klan-level racism. But it’s Paula Deen-level racism, at the least.

    • Yeah, no. That “just a little racist” rationale because his girlfriend isn’t Aryan is BS. Sorry, but where you put your dick is not a reliable indicator of how bigoted you are, or aren’t, since sexual relationships often have a power/dominance/ownership aspect, as well as a lot of other baggage, attached to them – and doubly so for guys like Sterling who know their money/power is a major factor. Former Grand Dragon Frazier Glenn Miller, that piece of walking shit who just shot up the Kansas Jewish Center, was once caught having sex with black transgender hooker. Does that mean he’s also only a “little” racist?

      TomFrank is accurate in citing “plantation mentality” – I sincerely doubt any owner who used his female slave population for his personal harem secretly held them in such high esteem that he later recoiled at the thought of joining the Klan because it was against his principles.

    • The really, really, really fucked up part of this is that I don’t think Sterling believes he is a racist. I’ve listened through the extended version of the tapes a few times and he is outraged when it comes to his girlfriend inferring that he’s racist. I mean, he’s crazy racist, but his point of view seems to be that his way of thinking applies to everyone, and given that line of thought he believes himself to be magnanimous. I mean he gives those “black boys” money, houses and cars! Out of the good of his heart! And he’s a racist just because he thinks of black people as his property and not worthy of associating with in polite society? Geez!

      It’s the same batshit crazy logic that leads him to believe that it is actually team owners like himself that “make the league” and not the players. If the entire NBA shut down it would take about a week for another pro basketball league to spring up, sign all of the same players and continue operation unabated. No one gives a flying fuck about the owners. But to Sterling’s myopic, self-serving POV, he matters more to basketball than LeBron.

  8. Smokey is a family friend. I can’t wait to ask him his thoughts on this next time I see him.

  9. Griefer

    The big question nobody wants to ask is how will this situation effect Sterling’s ability to procure mixed-race chicks for sex?

  10. It’s a good thing Jay Z sold his shares of the Nets or else he’d have faced a lifetime ban too. Given all the horrible things he’s said. Or rapped. Which is even worse.

  11. Mitch

    If I were Donald Sterling, I would just shut down the Clippers franchise and walk away. There is no future in professional basketball once the Chinese and Russians take over the USA so he might as well get out no.

    Oh, and BTW, the Chinese really hate black people which will be interesting when they are our overlords. I wouldn’t be surprised if they reinstated slavery here, not just for blacks but for all of the dumbshit white people too.

    • You are truly an education. Who knew that a tinfoil hat could cut off oxygen to the brain?

      • Mitch

        Tinfoil hat? That’s called REALITY, Jizzer.

        Instead of making assumptions, how about you offer some proof that my statement about the Chinese hating blacks is false. You can substitute Japanese for Chinese if you like because I think they actually hate them more than the Chinese.

        Either way, the Chinese will make them all slaves again once they take over the USA, right along with you and I. Think slavery doesn’t exist in China today? You had better get out of the house once a year and get your sorry ass to the airport and see first hand what reality is all about.

      • How about because the Chinese economy is very dependent on exports to the US? Or that they’re heavily invested in the American dollar and by investing in it, are also depending on that currency to remain successful? Those are two real reasons that your Red Dawn based fears aren’t going to happen. “Let’s start a ridiculously expensive war with our largest trading partner and attempt to enslave their population, thereby crashing their economy and ours soon after.”

      • Mitch

        Uncle Phil, you really need to work on your reading comprehension becasue at the moment, it’s hovering around that of an 8 year old. No where in my post did I ever mention China starting a war with the USA – I said “when they are our overlords”.

        There are much cleaner ways to take over a country these days and the Chinese are busy doing just that but snapping up our real estate, businesses and anything else those with short event horizons decide to sell them. The Chinese already own a majority stake in this country and are adding to it daily.

        Now, how about you get your ass over to the nearest library and start practicing. If I were you, I would start in the children’s section.

  12. Barbara

    Only thing in the NBA constitution that could make u sell or give up ur team is GAMBLING.
    So the commish is talking shit. Everybody remembers the initial thing, when it doesnt end up happening, everybody still thinks, at least the commish meant well. Sneaky commish.

    • Since the NBA’s constitution happens to be confidential, congrats – you’re the one who’s talking shit.

      The League supposedly has very broad powers, and by-laws allowing it to discipline or sanction an owner for misconduct that harms the franchise as a whole. While the owners would obviously not want to set precedent for any sort of forced divestiture outside of financial misconduct, there’s undoubtedly some provision authorizing the League to take over the day-to-day operations of a team, or even sell it without an owner’s consent, if there’s a dereliction in team finances. And that doesn’t automatically equal “GAMBLING”.

  13. Aw shit

    YA ITS MESSED UP, BUT ITS FREEDOM OF SPEECH. Cant make him sell his team, he didnt say it publicly or about anyone to prove he is discriminating.
    He could argue he said blacks, blacks aint black, they brown. Maybe he was talking about black magic, the phone jack. They dont have a sponsorship with black magic jacks so he dont want her doing free advertising.

    • Huh?

      The best part of this whole mess, other than again being reminded how f**ked up we are as a species, is being subjected to thousands of misapplications of the first amendment.

      Unless the US Government is making him sell his team, he is no different than a McDonald’s franchise owner that decides to sell Whoppers. The NBA has every right, as agreed upon at sale of franchise, to deal with it. The first amendment does not protect you against the natural, non-government results of your dumba$$ utterances.

  14. No, you dribbling moron, it’s not. Since the government isn’t trying to censor or put him in prison, the First Amendment has exactly jack shit to do with anything. Since the NBA isn’t the gub’mint, they very well may have the ability to make him sell the Clippers, since all teams are League franchises, if his behavior or speech harms the League as a whole.

    Go look up “Marge Schott” and see just where “Freedom of Speech” got her – the First doesn’t protect you from criticism, libel or slander suits, or any other fallout that results from shooting your mouth off verbally or in print. If you think it does, go into your boss’s office tomorrow and tell him he’s a fat, drunken asshole who anally rapes underage donkeys. Then when he tells you you’re fired, you just proudly inform him he’s not allowed to because “IT’S FREEDOM OF SPEECH.” Seriously, go ahead – chances are you’re too fuckwitted to hold down a job for more than a few months anyway, so it really won’t make any difference in the long run.

  15. JewEmAll

    That guy is rich. Sue them all.

  16. LAla

    Smokey, smokey, smokey…I love Smokey! I want my Smokey…what happen. I think I’m going to go vomit.

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