And Superman Has Herpes Now. Goddammit.

Here’s Henry Cavill leaving Chateau Marmont last night looking drunk as hell which explains him getting into a car with Paris Hilton. Although in his defense, her vagina probably looks like Doomsday, so I bet he just thinks he’s on set. Which is how I’m trying to lie to myself that I wouldn’t do the same exact thing but already in a cape and yelling, “How’d this tiny Luthor get in my pants? Grab him, Lazy Eyed Lois!” It’s like Superman’s never been with a woman before.

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