Helena Bonham Carter in a swimsuit. (I’m sorry.)

August 24th, 2009 // 157 Comments

Proving that Goth chicks should stick to reading Twilight at Denny’s, Helena Bonham Carter was spotted at Malibu Beach over the weekend wearing a swimsuit, and I honestly don’t know why I’m posting these. Seriously, I’ve only had ten five coffee mugs of whiskey today, so it’s not like I’m drunk. Back me up, desk chair I dressed up like Wonder Woman. What’s that? You want to have a baby? But we just met.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. raza

    Its a pasty kim kardashian, same gooey body

  2. I'd Hit That...

    FIRST!!!

    …and I’m harder than last year’s Christmas candy.

  3. e

    i’d probably hit it still

  4. AllThatGlitters

    At least it’s a one piece.

  5. howlovely

    who cares????? she’s richer than YOU!!!

  6. Anonymous

    She’s wearing underwear under her swimming costume. You know what time that means!

    Pleasant thought.

  7. Thanks for the photos. It’s something we all were curious about (what excites Tim Burton, I mean).

  8. Iambananas

    I know this website is called “the superficial” but how shallow can you people be? She is by no means obese… she’s had a child! I think she looks great and she’s rockin’ that red suit. She has great boobs and so what if she has a TEENY TEENY stomach? She’s still pretty in an avant-garde sort of way.

    Americans are getting redicilous… in Europe, they embrace women’s bodies and celebrate them. We could take some lessons from them!

    She is talented and funny and has an adorable kid there! I say “Horray!!!”

    What’s she supposed to do? Not swim? Not have fun? Cover up in layers and layers (which, when she does, she’s made fun of by people again). Let her be. She’s hardly unhealthy.

    • tbuundy

      “Americans are getting redicilous… in Europe, they embrace women’s bodies and celebrate them. We could take some lessons from them!”

      you have never been to any part of Europe. ever.

  9. DB

    You sick son of a bitch.

  10. Aunt Jemima

    I wouldn’t fuck her with Tyler Durden’s cock.

  11. Cardinal Ximenez

    Uh, she’s a middle aged mom who should be entitled to privacy to enjoy a day of swimming with her daughter. Let’s put your mom on there you douche nozzle. You just became as lame and irrelevant as Perez Hilton.

  12. anonymousadam

    my theory is that she’s getting ready to play the lead part in the susan boyle movie biography.

  13. Deacon Jones

    Man, that girl in pic #5 has a monster hard-on under her dress

  14. NGAPLZ

    “in Europe, they embrace women’s bodies and celebrate them.”

    Ja, but in Europe the bodies aren’t as fat and disgusting. Nevertheless, I would attack that ass with all the fury of a jilted eurofag.

  15. nickclone

    Twilight at Denny’s! Haha, its funny cause it’s true.

  16. ___

    Hey #8:

    -You say “she’s had a baby” as if that’s some sort of excuse for being horribly out of shape and just downright disgusting. You’re probably one of those morons who thinks pregnant women are eating for two.

    -Unhealthy? Probably not. Completely gross? Yup.

    -Who said anything about being obese? You’re the only one who used that word.

    -She’s hardly “rocking” anything except a fat wallet. That being said, she should go out and drop some money on a new swimsuit and get out of that one she borrowed from her mom.

    -Pretty in an avante-garde sort of way? Did you really just say that???

  17. Cash

    My eyes!! It BURNS!!! AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. Harold^Sick

    I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

  19. If shallow Tim like it shes fine with me, shell always be employed…

  20. Megan

    8 -

    “Americans are getting redicilous… in Europe, they embrace women’s bodies and celebrate them. We could take some lessons from them!”

    I doubt you’ve ever been to anywhere in Europe (that’s a huge place to be generalizing, by the way). Just because some things in Europe are more easily accepted and what have you, it doesn’t mean anything. Some men don’t mind a body like Bonham’s, but you will be hard-pressed to find a place in the industrialized world where there are men who don’t like a fit woman.

  21. Dirty Sanchiz

    Even her kid is fat.

  22. I think she would actually look better in a two piece that would give her some more support on top and show that her stomach isn’t that big rather than emphasizing the texture it in a solid colored one that stretches over her belly. At least she’s out in the sun, which she can clearly use a little of. At the same time, she’s only 43 and could take some tips from Mary Louise Parker on looking MILFy.

  23. I think she would actually look better in a two piece that would give her some more support on top and show that her stomach isn’t that big rather than emphasizing the texture it in a solid colored one that stretches over her belly. At least she’s out in the sun, which she can clearly use a little of. At the same time, she’s only 43 and could take some tips from Mary Louise Parker on a MILF workout routine. Helena was way hot and could get it back if she tried.

  24. I think she would actually look better in a two piece that would give her some more support on top and show that her stomach isn’t that big rather than emphasizing the texture it in a solid colored one that stretches over her belly. At least she’s out in the sun, which she can clearly use a little of. At the same time, she’s only 43 and could take some tips from Mary Louise Parker on a MILF workout routine. Helena was way hot and could get it back if she tried.

  25. Del

    Oh no she didn’t!

  26. Shamus O'Hara

    She looks like J LO . Except J LO has a fatter ass !

  27. marie

    you fucking idiots. it’s Helena Bonham Carter! she’s only the most talented actress of this generation and a ridiculously rich woman from the upper-class who gave up that to be an excentric and amazing artist. fuck all of you, such assholes…

  28. Jenn

    I adore her, she’s brilliant! She looks perfectly fine to me. It’s just that her suit is waaaaay too small for her.

  29. CoCoYoYo

    The bathing suit certainly doesn’t fit properly (she could use more coverage up top) but honestly? She looks as good (if not better) than the average 43 year old working mother of 2. Hell, she probably looks better than a lof of women 10-20 years younger!

    It’s a sad state of affairs when a women is chastised, berated and humilated because she refuses to starve herself, exercise 4 hours a day, lay under skin-damaging lights, go under the knife and be injected with poison to fit an absolutely unrealistic ideal.

    Carter might not be winning a bikini contest with her body but she looks great. Cut the gal some slack!

    • tbuundy

      “It’s a sad state of affairs when a women is chastised, berated and humiliated because she refuses to starve herself, exercise 4 hours a day, lay under skin-damaging lights, go under the knife and be injected with poison to fit an absolutely unrealistic ideal.”

      or, conversely, eat the occasional salad and buy a swimsuit that fits.

      or what you said too. same thing, basically.

  30. CoCoYoYo

    The bathing suit certainly doesn’t fit properly (she could use more coverage up top) but honestly? She looks as good (if not better) than the average 43 year old working mother of 2. Hell, she probably looks better than a lof of women 10-20 years younger!

    It’s a sad state of affairs when a women is chastised, berated and humilated because she refuses to starve herself, exercise 4 hours a day, lay under skin-damaging lights, go under the knife and be injected with poison to fit an absolutely unrealistic ideal.

    Carter might not be winning a bikini contest with her body but she looks great. Cut the gal some slack!

  31. Lain

    I don’t understand. If you don’t like it, then why post it? Are you forced to? Is that why?

  32. Jenna

    Damn, I think she looks good. She’s got a litlle cellulite, but who doesn’t?

  33. Your a moron

    #16 – Your a dick bag. Im pregnant and proudly eating for 2. I was 105 pounds when I got pregnant and in very good shape. If your not overweight when you get pregnant then you have to eat more, or else you will kill your baby. Now go fuck a light socket.

    And I think Helena looks pretty good for her age. She’s not hell bent on looking like a 20 year old model. Do we want all women to look like Heidi Montag. If they all looked like her then they might all act like her too. So be careful what you wish for.

    • tbuundy

      “Im pregnant and proudly eating for 2.”

      no, you aren’t, because. science.

      the original point stands.

  34. LadyFace

    Who really gives a fuck about her swim suit, she’s enjoying some time with her nipper… good on her

  35. LadyFace

    Who really gives a fuck about her swim suit, she’s enjoying some time with her nipper… good on her

  36. LadyFace

    and really my kid thinks my tits look like chicken and my thighs like porridge so who gives a fuck

  37. LadyFace

    and really my kid thinks my tits look like chicken and my thighs like porridge so who gives a fuck

  38. deddog

    i wish that posting your own picture as a little icon next to your name was mandatory for this site… i notice these same people like deacon jones (sorry, don’t want to pick on you deacon, your shortcomings are probably genetic and out of your control) posting the same comments over and over again unless its an article on megan fox (who makes lauren conrad seem exciting)… and i ALWAYS wonder what kind of girls these guys land in real life…

    i imagine 90% of the men posting on this site have razor burned, acne riddled skin and nose hairs falling out their nostrils… and it’s always the same played out jokes over and over again (Randall, you’re actually funny though, keep it up)

    i speak for alot of people on this site i bet when i say please stop with the same jokes… being cruel is not automatically funny, please be more funny or stop altogether

    90% of the men posting on this site are smelly trailer trash or smelly cubicle desk jockeys that never so much as get a walk’s worth of exercise… glued to this site trying to validate their existence with “witty” banter and commentary… my advice to you guys would be to spill several days worth of your wellbutrin, prozac, or xanax into your semen encrusted hand and swallow it down with your mcdonalds coffee… and take a dirt nap…

    the world would be better off with a few less pieces of white trash and white collar office yuppies thinking they’re funny using the office computers to look at superficial during the work day… get better jobs and stop wasting your lives

    or at least make the comments funnier, thanks

  39. chickadee

    She still looks awesome. Having lousy photos taken of her doesn’t change the fact that she is beautiful, talented, and basically 100% awesome. Bad bathing suit, but I’ve seen worse. And her ass is fabulous! People who get uptight about a little bit of cellulite and call a person “fat and ugly” for having cellulite don’t get it: it’s a genetic tendency, assholes. You can be rail thin and still have cellulite, and there is virtually NOTHING you can do about it.

    Keep on rockin’ Helena!

  40. faxed

    re: # 33.”Your a dick bag. Im pregnant and proudly eating for 2. I was 105 pounds when I got pregnant and in very good shape. If your not overweight when you get pregnant then you have to eat more, or else you will kill your baby. Now go fuck a light socket.”

    I’m pregnant right now too, and NOT eating for two. You don’t need to eat TWO TIMES the amount of food you normally eat in order to supply your baby with nutrients. The misconception is that you “eat for two” when in reality you only eat about 300 more calories a day (and that isn’t much more, that’s just a couple snacks). Stop perpetuating the idea that once you get knocked up you have to head to the buffet. Who cares if you were 105 pounds that doesn’t mean it’s time to pig out.

  41. Michael Jackson

    It’s refreshing to see someone in Los Angeles that hasn’t ever been to a plastic surgeon.

  42. Irwin

    I think she’s hot, but I’m 82 years old.

  43. me

    I’ve always adored her.. she’s cool. It doesn’t look like she was about to strut her stuff and be a media whore like some celebs. It looks like she’s having a nice day with her family. Lay the hell off Helena. I mean that will all due respect… Carry on…

  44. jackie

    # 40 -

    What’s wrong with all pregnant woman and why are they so bitchy and jealous of women that are better looking than them. Is is some hormonal pregnancy thing or what?

  45. Amy

    Let’s stick with this rule of thumb:

    Make fun and pick at folks bodies when they “put it all out there” …like Heidi, Kim K, etc. These are the people that attempt to be famous for their looks, therefore, we should be able to pick apart their bodies and make fun of them.

    Let’s not make fun of folks who are famous for other reasons and don’t strut around like tramps, i.e. Helena Bonham Carter, Blanchett, etc. There people don’t ask for all the media spotlight…they are not famous for their bodies. How about we leave them alone. I know I’ll look like that when I’m in my 40′s…it’s life.

  46. boris karloff

    i was expecting something more tentacle-y.

  47. haha

    look at all these fat cunts getting butthurt over some dumb comments rofl
    50% of these are troll posts and you keep feeding them, fucking idiots

  48. Jack Hardy

    Pic # 4 made me so hard. The should remake fightclub now with Brad Pitt banging the shit out of her hambeast ass.

  49. flipper

    *flapjacks*

  50. Dee

    She looks fine. She is not fat by any means. Just because she isn’t a generic stick thin Jennifer Aniston drone doesn’t mean there is a thing wrong with her.

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