Heidi & Spencer tip like A-holes? Say it’s not so!

May 18th, 2008 // 114 Comments

Oh, hey, I write a blog. Morning! So, apparently over the weekend Mr. and Mrs. Douchenozzle, Heidi and Spencer, went out to eat and racked up a $783 bill. Common courtesy dictates that they should’ve tipped anywhere between $120 to $150. Spencer dropped 16 bucks. Watch out, everybody! High roller, comin’ through! TMZ reports:

A camera crew was with the vomit-inducing twosome at the time — no surprise there — and our source says that when they stopped filming, the server approached a producer from the show about the measly tip. The producer forked over $60 from his own pocket to cover Spencer’s shortcomings.

While I don’t expect these two to have any form of math skills (Frankly, I’m shocked they can speak.), dicking over those in the service industry is a big no-no in my book. Which is why I always generously tip when I go out. Right, Stripper with the Deed to My House? What’s that? Another lap dance? Sure, why not? But, listen, I can only tip you with the bike I rode here on. Or, okay, my laptop…



  1. Indiana Jen


  2. sla

    I seem to remember reading somewhere that there were 12 $60 shots of primo Patron tequila on the tab. Which doesn’t leave a whole lot for food. And it was more than the two of them.

    I’m on the side that says if you can afford to be extravagant on the booze, you should be extravagant on the tip, assuming service was good.

    It is just as easy to carry a $5 shot as it is a $60 shot, but I am guessing if the waiter accidentally dropped a tray of the good stuff a lot of it would be coming out of his or her measly paycheck. So there is the risk involved.

    Back when I was making more money that I do now, my hubby and I would go out for expensive meals (one higher end example: cosmos, champagne and caviar, expensive wine with dinner, dessert with port, and spanish coffee. Yes, we were both drunk and stupid). We always tipped 20%, always got the best tables and great service, and the wait staff loved us.

    You get what you pay for, especially if it’s a place you go to a lot.

    And on a typical tab of, say, $50, the difference between 10 and 20 percent is $5. So my rule is if the service is good, tip well, and spread a little sunshine into someone’s day. God knows there are enough assholes out there that the waiters — most of whom have a job that can really suck at times — appreciate the thoughfulness.

  3. Shawn

    @53. Very well said.

  4. I always leave 10 $20 bills on the table and let the server know right off of the bat that that’s where his/her tip can end up. And everytime they piss me off by doing something stupid, like bringing bread tio the table that was seated after us while we stare jealously, I slide another Jackson into my pocket. If I get really nitpicky, the wife empties out her coin purse and we start stacking them up. Yeah, I’m sure they spit in our food. That’s why we order everything deep fried.

  5. ericococo


    no choice ? dude. we are what the choices we made.
    No Choice ??????
    thats some fucked up commie thinking right there mate.

  6. Miaoudeminou

    To all those saying the waiter/waitress didn’t deserve a better tip can eat my pussy.

    People get paid $3-5/hr at most places because, as others have stated, the place expects tips to make up for the rest of their wage.

    Also, if I had to deal with douches like these two, yeah I’d expect a nice tip. Most people who have money (or like to think they have money) act like asshats towards people in the customer service industry.

    PS: Heidi and Spencer….your shit does stink fyi

  7. I could care less about those clowns, but come on…why should you tip more because the meal cost more? You’re simply carrying food whether it’s Denny’s or someplace fancy. Unless the waiter went above and beyond their normal job duties to serve you they merely doing their jobs and don’t need to be paid like rock stars.

  8. Shawn

    It’s not communist to show compassion to other people who may not be as well off as I am (which isn’t very well off). You obviously are naive to the conditions some folks must face, and I can’t blame you for that part, except maybe for refusing to be educated. Maybe one day you will find yourself powerless in a situation and eventually understand how someone can be stuck somewhere they don’t want to be.

    Besides, I also gave you the free-market reason why you’re an asshole, not just the compassionate one. Think what you will, I am tired of defending something nearly everyone else already understands to be a basic fact of society. If they are a server, they rely on tips to make a living. So tip.

  9. Why is her mouth always open? Is she not able to close it? Is there a toothpick in there keeping it propped open like in the cartoons? It’s bizarre. Almost as bizarre as her boobs. And that scarecrow that’s always attached to her. Don’t you think he’s going to look back on all of this 20 years from now and wonder what the hell he was thinking? And also why her mouth was always open. Cause it’s always open.

  10. Sandy

    To Shawn— Thank you for being one of the few rare people who is compassionate about how sometimes we have no control over our circumstances in life. Good Karma your way =].

    To the Cheapskates— You say that we have a choice in life to work any job we want. Well, I am a struggling college student at UCLA and waitressing is my only option for now since I have not graduated yet. Of course, it is only a temporary job until I get into med school and yes, I am fortunate enough to be paid minimum in Cali, but when you don’t tip accordingly, we have to pull out money from our own pockets to tip the 3 bussers as well as the bartender. And not only that, we are taxed for your meals!

    So next time when you tip me $2 for a $100 bill while praising on what a wonderful server I am, I suggest you take the $2 and buy yourself some common courtesy.

    And lastly to all the people who don’t believe in tipping, are you positive that you are not ingesting piss/spit/sperm/etc when you are enjoying your meal?

  11. poot

    i would hit them with my car if they were standing in front of it. btw, #48, and any other assholes who may hold the same opinion, serving is NOT the easiest job in the world. in fact, i’m pretty sure heidi and spencer are doing the easiest job in the world, and i fucking dare you to go up to any waitress and tell them their job is easy. dipshits.

  12. echoroc

    if someone will pay off my student loans i will go to LA and beat the living shit out of heidi.

    any takers?

  13. Wow

    #22, 23 & 32 were clearly raised in a barn.

  14. Jackie

    They might as well have just thrown a quarter at her as they left. How insulting.

    P.S. – Why does he dress like my grandpa?

  15. Frank

    Shawn, drop the attitude and quit labelling as assholes anybody who doesn’t fork over their extra cash. I don’t care what system waiters have going on, my duty is to pay the restaurant for my experience, nothing more, nothing less. Part of that experience is having someone wait on me, so it is up to the restaurant to set the price that covers all their costs. If the owner doesn’t charge enough to pay his workers what they want, then that’s the problem of the owner and the worker. You can’t expect customers to ‘provide their salary’, as you put it. That sort of business goes on between the employer and the employee.

    As a customer my only role is to evaluate the price put forward by the restaurant, and either dine there or go elsewhere. If a cost is not made visible to the customer and is therefore not paid, you are in no position to insult them because you took a job with shitty pay and will now have to make do with less cash than you PRESUMED you would get.

    Millions of people, including myself, have at some point taken jobs we hate for lousy pay, but it is nobody else’s responsibility to look out for them. If you get yourself into a sucky situation, it’s up to you to work your way out of it. Don’t walk into a situation where your income is based more on presumption than it is agreement.

    My point is, put whatever value you want on the food and the service provided. But unless that price is stated upfront, you can’t expect anybody to pay more than what is agreed. Customers are just that. They aren’t employers, and they should constitute no part of whatever payment system it is that waiters have.

    Let’s say waiters’ wages were fully accounted for in the visible price of a restaurant’s product, and tips were not needed. Would you scoff and call people assholes if they deemed the price too high and declined to dine there? Because the result is the same (in that the waiter gets the same compensation for their labour), except in your version you’re dumping the extra cost on the customer AFTER they’ve already accepted a price. And then you have the gall to call them assholes when they choose not to play by your rules.

  16. #66 – Hard to argue with. Especially when the servers are illegals.

  17. A

    everytime i see her pale skin and blonde hair she just looks like the whitest women in the world to me

  18. ultramegatron

    66 – you are a big douchebag, kthx. if i were your server, you would definitely get some pubes in your dinner!

  19. Veroonica

    Somebody get that bitch treatment for her lock jaw.

    I was in Chicago recently, and let me tell you, those servers are some real assholes. Quite frankly, I don’t tip for attitude. I only tipped once while I was there, and I tipped for GOOD, FRIENDLY service. I don’t tip for eyerolls and some queen snapping his fingers in front of my face.

    I believe in tipping. However, it should be earned, not expected. Oh. Sixty-0ne and sixty-two? If your jobs suck so bad, it may be time for a career change. If I find out any of you fuckers pissed in my food, that career change is going to be prison.

  20. I could care less about those clowns, but come on…why should you tip more because the meal cost more? You’re simply carrying food whether it’s Denny’s or someplace fancy. Unless the waiter went above and beyond their normal job duties to serve you they merely doing their jobs and don’t need to be paid like rock stars.

  21. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    fucking morons, in America waitting staff are paid peanuts like $2.13 an hour, for brits thats £1.06 would YOU work for that pittance? I dont’ think so, I can’t stand tight asses who won’t give a decent tip.

  22. Cheap Hooknose

    I told this one before. Years ago I nice Jewish couple just back from Russian asked me after work to unload a bunch of stuff for them at a condo I worked at. It took me 30 fucking minutes.
    They gave me $2.
    I am serious.

  23. Texastaz

    Tipping should be for the quality of service, not the amount your bill is. I’ve had bills that were expensive because of what I ordered and the service was bad. That waiter douche got a lower tip amount on purpose. I’ve also tipped waiters more for good service on a small bill. I worked as a waiter and I always made sure I treated my people great no matter what the amount of the bill was. 95% of the time it payed off. And on those occasions that I got a bad tip, I did not act liek a puss and go ask for more money.

  24. Sandy

    #70— First of all, I am a good, friendly server, so you cannot say that I don’t deserve a tip. I never said that the customers owe me tip no matter how bad or good the service was. Obviously, if the food took too long (even if it was the cook’s fault) or I didn’t refill your drinks fast enough, I’d know better than to expect a tip. So stfu.

    Secondly, if you pay for my student loans, my rent and bills, I will gladly switch jobs. And fyi, my waitressing job is not a career. You may view your crappy job as a career, but like I said earlier, mine is only temporary.

    And lastly, how would you really know if someone spit/piss in your food?

    With that bad attitude and bitchiness, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve already consumed someone else’s bodily fluids at some point in your life. Do yourself a favor and stay home to eat.

  25. Looks to me like Spency’s math is perfect. Either he has exactly $800 left to his name or that’s all that’s available on his credit card. Douche didn’t want to have his card declined and be publicly humiliated. He’d rather look like a shitty tipper.

    Does he even work or have a job? He must be close to broke buying Heidi a bunch of crap to be pictured with. Plus keeping up his facade of a rich so cal boy. Wonder who paid for or even if his car is paid for?

    God willing, someday Heidi and Spencers spawn have his teeth and her chin.

  26. Frank

    @72: The circumstances surrounding a person’s decision to take a job as a waiter are irrelevant. The transaction is simple: supplier states their price, consumer either agrees or disagrees. Instead of fannying about with an ambiguous wage system where the burden is on the consumer to make a business decision, factor wages into the price and lay it out there for folks to judge.

  27. Jenny

    At least in Oregon and California waiters make minimum wage, and they don’t work any harder than anyone else in minimum wage jobs. I tip, but we’re the only country in the world who has an expected tipping percentage irregardless of the service you get. My brother is a waiter in Orange County and he makes a ridiculous amount of money simply because he works in an upscale restaurant so people give him more money because the food costs more. It doesn’t make any sense.

  28. Protocol Harem

    Could that purse be any uglier? And what E’tat du Poseur did they attend?

  29. Grunion

    Why continue to post about these things? Nobody cares. I think the Fish gets his cut from every post. Fucking lame.

  30. ap0

    Sounds like Spencer watched that Sopranos episode where Chrissy was low man on the totem and had to pay for everything. Except I don’t think he threw a brick at the waiter’s head afterwards.

  31. Brey

    I could hit these people with my truck and be happy. Not just for this, but for all that they are.

  32. Shawn

    Frank and others –

    I am assuming the service was appropriate since these people are famous and they went to an apparently upscale restaurant. If the service was noticeably bad, I would tip less than usual as well, though not as low as 2%. I do not think they should get a given amount just for doing a crappy job. But assuming no special circumstances, 15% is appropriate.

    Either way, if you refuse to tip and the manager of the restaurant finds out, they generally ask you not to come back. Whether you like it or not, it is understood that you should leave a tip for service. As I said before, if there are complaints, then complain and it will be taken care of. If not, shut up and tip.

    I am not saying you cannot get away with not tipping, I am just saying that you’re a jerk for doing it. Just like those jerks that wait until the last minute to merge when their lane ends. You abuse a system for your own benefit and then argue that its OK because you can do it and not get into trouble. What I am saying is that you’re still an asshole whether you get in trouble or not.

    And Frank, they aren’t my rules. I just live by them, like any other decent person. It is not your duty to pay a tip, but it is your responsibility. Just like it is not your duty to vote, but it’s the right thing to do in the current system. I’m sorry to those servers who wait on you.

    Oh yea, and you’re an asshole.

  33. drea

    #61 (and the other servers posting): I’ll back you up. I’m a UVA graduate working as a cocktail waitress at a high-end night club to support myself while I work my unpaid internship (the only way to get a paying job in my market!)

    Wear I work, if people tip below 15%, we groan to ourselves, count our losses and move on to the next table. If people tip below 10%, we let the floor hosts know, they give them a talking to and they get blacklisted if they still don’t pay up.

  34. Eric


    I beg you, never speak of Heidi and Spencer again, I am tied down and forced to actually watch the Hills by my fiancee and belive me the expirence makes me doubt the charactor of my love. If humans possess souls, these people are not human… Oh fuck it, I have nothing profound or even funny to say about them, so… Spencer is a fucking ponce, and Heidi just seems like she’s kind of a cunt. The only news I want to hear about them is that they have died, otherwise, more power to them and thier spoiled, absolutley undeserved lives. But you know, while i’m on the subect I don’t give a fuck about anyone on the hills from Broady Jenner to Lauren Conrad, and fuck Kim Kardashian, the Real housewives and everyone who (voluntarily) watches these shows. I mean fucking christ don’t you have your own disfunctional family to fuck up?If you are delighting in the sense of entitlement, ignorance, and selfishly hedonistic attitude towards life these peices of shit spew all over my hard earned comcast, you yourself are just as warped- by either relating to or wanting to be just like LC and her prime-time “”"”reality”"” TV companions. These people have no talent, they are not interesting and they are by no means entertaining*, they have rich parents. You know who was syptomatic of the lifestyle this children lead? Justin-Bobby. The dude was fucking weird because he was trying to be different from his peers, he never committed to Audrina because he was likely dealing with some kind of self confidance issue, fuckin A Justin-Bobby wasn’t like the rest of the cookie cutter rich kids but he was the only real person on that show! But mostly… FUCK HEIDI AND SPENCER!!!

    *Britney Spears doesn’t really have any talent, she has an OK voice, she dances fairly well and has vaulted to an amazing amount of wealth for a ugly chick. HOWEVER! She was 100% pure innocent, girl, surrounded by trash and is now, not surprisingly trash herself. rich trash, it makes fantastic entertainment, holy shit she doesn’t buckle her child? she takes drugs and babbles like a moron? and all this fucking baby drama?!?!?! Awsome, no one lives life like a peice of trash; she doesn’t show any pretension, entitlement or malice, she’s just an exploited retard-spawn going about her life with staggeringly huge amounts of cash. These kids on the hills and other programs, were raised to have self control by parents who are themselves successful, who the fuck really wants to watch a bunch of girls cry, shop and gossip? Ever notice how LC looks like she doesn’t sleep at night? She problably doesn’t given all the soul sucking work she does on that show. The “Aftershow” is just to ensure the fractions of the souls of mislead veiwers that have been sucked out during the previous 30 minutes can be channled feed the cast. LC must know how futile her life is– knowing that your insipid existance relies on a shitty cable tv show would drive the sleep from anyones night. But again, i digress… Fuck spencer and heidi, these people are stupid, have nothing to offer us and should never, under any circumstance be given a public forum with wich to mass communicate, or recive the attention of the mass media (sadly, that seems to include The Superficial). Jesus i just wasted 20 minutes.

  35. Tchoupi

    I like this pic because it shows Heidi for what she truly is : a soulless and money-hungry bimbo.
    Notice the way, regardless of how impractical it actually is, she shows off the Birkin bag and the Chanel watch on all pics. Ever since she got them, she’s been busy flaunting them at the paps. Because she’s worth it! Actually, she goes to such ways to pimps these two items that I’m starting to wonder whether she truly bought them, or if they were given to her as part of a promotional deal…

  36. poop@poop.com

    Sup with all these fuckheads saying you should tip the same amount no matter what the bill is.

    You sleezabags are those people are go to those big dinners when my friend is having some birthday celebration and I end up paying all the tightwads’ tips cause no one will tip more than 8% or factor in tax.

    Fuck you!

  37. And they said that androids were impossible… HA!

  38. Roxy

    Yet another pair who really are nobodies…they most likely didn’t pay for the meal to begin with so the producer should have tipped them anyway. Yep it’s all a stunt, they both play for the other side. It’s all a poor attempt at picture perfect “normalcy” Seems like lots of people are buyin.

  39. 28inch

    yes i watch the hills, i dont know why, i know its fake and perhaps my tastes aren’t quite as sophisticated as you’d like them to be but fuck it. heidi i can tolerate, but spencer makes me actually want to put a sword through his chest. i despise the soulless, vacant grin permantly fixed on his hideous face.

  40. WTF

    What the fuck is with tipping? That’s fucked up. Sure, give your server something if you’re happy… but it shouldn’t be legal for employers to expect their customer to pay extra for their server on top of the usually retarded bill, and the state sure as fuck shouldn’t tax the server for the customer’s meal. What the FUCK is with America that they just sit there and allow the poor people to get screwed every time?

    Pay your fucking staff to do their job in the first place, and DONT screw them over by taxing them extra on their tips, expecting people to pay them their wages on top of the bill, and by charging the waiter or waitress for the busboys etc. What the FUCK? Where I come from people would just walk the fuck off the job if you outlined those pay conditions. And then they’d sue you and win because that’s fucking illegal.

  41. Eri


    Servers get paid less than minimum wage. There is no server union, and there never will be. Therefore, no one is going to be fighting for servers to get fair wages anytime soon…If you’re upset with your wages, they can replace you with someone else. Besides, when you don’t have a bunch of assholes who can’t tip, you CAN make good money. Not good money for someone trying to live, but certainly good money for a college student.

    Restaurants would have to increase their prices if they paid their servers fair wages, which means they would get your money whether they did their job correctly or not. Since most US servers are just working that job to pay their way through college, I doubt most of them would give two shits about the quality of your dining experience if they were going to be paid the same either way.

    Also, they take the server’s taxes out of their paycheck. So, when you don’t tip, the server doesn’t make any money on you. In fact, in most places, they end up paying for your cheap ass to eat there because they are required to claim at least 10% of their sales when they clock out. And I know what you’re going to say…find another job. Well, thankfully, other people DO know how to tip for their service. They recognize that they paid for the food, and will then have to pay for the service of not getting everything themselves. What’s more, if all of us quit, who would serve you?

  42. Er...

    No douchebag… if you servers all quit, then restaurants would fucking go out of business because of not being able to serve their customers, and have to pay you more if they wanted servers. Is that the fucking level of logic you have that you think people will just starve if you’re not there to carry food to them?

    You work for the RESTAURANT. You don’t work for the fucking customer. The restaurant wants you to carry food and be nice. The customer is there to eat. Ideally a server should be fairly unobtrusive. People DONT go out to dinner for the joys of the freakin’ server. In fact, they only really notice when the server is bad.

  43. Veroonica

    84. Please let me know where your night club is so I can avoid it! Christ, if some floor host gave me a talking to that would be the first and last time. If somebody tried to shake me down for money like that, honey, I would immediately pony up with a knuckle sandwich. What in the hell has become of this country. If you HAVE to have a 15% tip, then the retarded owner should include it in the price or post a sign. I’m sure you would see a decline in your clientele, but at least you would get your tip. I hope your club closes down soon. You would have to be a complete douche to go to that place.

  44. sam

    They should tip at least 25% to every waiter who resists the urge to poison them.

  45. justifiable

    #38 It’s not as easy to carry the 20 dishes that make up a “$500 dish” than it is a $1 dish. Grow the fuck up and get a clue. You don’t order a huge amount of food and liquor that requires a lot of time and attention from the wait and kitchen staff and then basically skip out the door and stiff your servers – who could have turned your table at the get go and been waiting on other patrons who know how to tip decently.

    And #41? You’re a douchebag. What I wouldn’t give to ship you and these two fuckwits to Europe where the tip is automatically added onto the bill. And then you’re expected to add to it.

    I’d say I hope restaurants refuse them service in future but the idea of these two greedy fuckbags chowing down on some waiter’s spunk is just too good an idea to screw with.

  46. Expert on Everything

    I’m so shocked we haven’t heard of these 2 getting bashed in the face w/a baseball bat or at least someone throwing scolding hot soup at them. Please people of superficial -get off the back of the fish, he’s bringing us our inspiration. We need to band together and if any of us ever see these inbred faggits in person, get creative with the attack. Do it for our reputation as a dignified country (my favorite tree), that we don’t put up w/douchery at this staggering level. We represent!

  47. Her mouth is open because she’s just a puppet. Spencers hand is up her ass making her sing and dance and make ugly clothes. He is living his secret fantasys through her. She’s just a corpse. Hense the slack jaw.

  48. aryans

    They look like they belong on a national socialist poster

  49. Jabba

    That Birkin bag is as fake as Heidi’s breasts.

  50. Jabba the cunt

    That Birkin bag is as fake as Heidi’s breasts.

Leave A Comment