Heidi & Spencer reportedly own a shitload of firearms

June 18th, 2008 // 168 Comments

We’ve finally reached the inevitable end-game of Heidi and Spencer’s “celebrity.” Seen above proving Ed Hardy is the apparel of choice for today’s walking anus, the couple have recently been rumored to be amateur gun nuts. It’s now reported that “Chins” and “Squirrel Nuts” even own a $10,000 arsenal of weapons. F-in’ beautiful. Surprisingly, this news hasn’t caused Charlton Heston’s ghost to appear saying “My bad. Gun control is actually totally awesome.” InTouch reports:

The couple visited the Martin B. Retting store in Culver City, Calif., on June 7 and spent more than $10,000 on guns to arm themselves. They purchased two Benelli semiautomatic M4 tactical shotguns, two Wilson close quarter combat .45-caliber pistols and one Scout semiautomatic rifle. “They wanted the exact guns that the U.S. Delta Force uses,” a friend explains. “Spencer wants to be prepared for anything.”

How bad is it to pray for a murder/suicide? Break it down to me on a scale of one to 10. One being Jesus also has his fingers crossed, and 10 being I’m doomed to photograph these two till the end of time . For reference, going to hell and being pitchforked in the nads is only a five.

superficial

  1. Ted from LA

    I hope Spencer accidentally shoots himself in the pussy.

  2. jack

    third

  3. diastiss

    first! -5 on that scale

  4. diastiss

    first! -5 on that scale

  5. Ed

    Spencer had a hardon at the gun shop because deep down inside, he knew if he bought a gun someday he’d have to defend himself against a home invasion…and the intruder would make him suck on the barrel of his own gun.

  6. TundraFire

    It’s legal and guaranteed by the constitution to own guns. What’s the big deal Mr. Superficial? I live in Alaska where things will kill and eat you, even right outside your door. I was almost stomped to death this winter by a surly moose in my front yard.

    Stick to writing the silly blurbs and stay away from my guns.

  7. Uncle Eccoli

    I’d love to see either of these two try to fire a shotgun.

  8. Ruby

    Douchebag and douchebaguette.

  9. Que

    Que simmer down #6.

  10. Uncle Eccoli

    @6 For someone with a ‘constitutionally-protected right,’ you seem awfully defensive.

    Personally, I’m rooting for the moose.

  11. havoc

    I foresee a ton of shoot yourselves/themselves jokes a’comin’…….

    .

  12. Racer X

    THIS IS NOT NEWS!!!

    /BOMB MTV

  13. Dumdidum

    Who the fuck sold these two dimwits a fucking gun. Isn’t there a law that you have to have at least some measure of intelligence? A test you have to pass? Like, counting to three?

  14. Anonymous

    “Personally, I’m rooting for the moose.’

    Fucking CLASSIC.

  15. der-doye

    Yep, gotta have guns when you live in or close to the wild, and need to shoot the occasional critter.

    But…say…wasn’t this story about 2 dolts living in L.A. and buying the types of guns need by special forces when they have to kill lots of people quickly?

    No, no, don’t tell me: it’s the same issue. Sure it is.

    Go watch your c-section scarred strippers, Alaskaboy. I hear Sadie is going to do her “2 coke bottles” trick again.

  16. JM

    Wynona Rider wouldn’t shop with that bag, even though it would offer one hell of a tactical shoplifting advantage. I can’t believe anyone is actually mad these two have a shitload of guns. As moronic as they both are, it’s highly likely that Spencer will end up taking two to the chest – ironically no longer allowing him to “live and breathe” pop culture. Accidents happen, and God has a way of making up for his mistakes.

  17. Paul

    #1 – I laughed out loud. Seriously.

    Now we just have to wait for these two to accidentally kill themselves, and when they do, I’ll bet even their corpses will be posed for the crime scene photo. Wearing the latest Ed Hardy apparel.

  18. “Personally, I’m rooting for the moose” HAHAHA!!! I love it!

    Ok, so murder/suicide is not that bad of a thing to hope for them, but to pray for it??? Well only if Tia Tequila is standing behind Heidi when the gun goes off..

    That would be a blessing, like the Ice Cream Truck on a hot winter’s day

  19. Tila's Penis

    Bad taste in clothing, excellent taste in weapons.

    #1, That was too damn funny!

  20. Tim

    Well atleast he has a good taste for gun hardware. I would love to have the guns on that list. Unless these guns were used I do not see how this only came up to a $10G purchase. Seems more along the lines of $15G.

  21. Michelle

    I hattttttttteeeeeeeeeeee these two, why does the media keep reporting on them, They are sickening.

  22. Michelle

    I hattttttttteeeeeeeeeeee these two, why does the media keep reporting on them, They are sickening.

  23. Grunion

    Imagine that Hiedi and Spencer. go figure. Looks like the fish had to pay some bills.

  24. X

    Fuck off with heidi and spencer already

  25. cave12man

    @ 1 & 17: dude so did i. kudos

  26. penpal

    let’s see here…..two idiot republican douchebags who are voting for mccain and who also stock firearms like they’re toys. big surprise.

  27. LSD in the butt

    Holy fuck i’m on trpiing on fucking ACID!!!!!!!!!

    hehehe WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. nipolian

    Are you kidding me? A Benelli M4………That’s a fucking semiautomatic 12 gauge shotgun…….It’s the gun that the Marines use to waste Ragheads six at a time. What the fuck are these two Douchebags doing with that kind of heavy hardware? There is a serious flaw in the Brady Bill……..Get my fucking congressman on the phone.

  29. Barak Obama

    What do you liberal douchebags have against guns penpal? Just because the only thing you can shoot is your wad into your boyfriends eye (liberals are very poor shots) doesn’t mean you have to be full of anger and hatred.

    Congress just told Bush that we can’t drill for our own oil. Be prepared for $7 a gallon gas. What has the Democratic controlled Congress done since they came into power…..(cricket chirp) Nothing. Gas and food prices out of control and they want to tax big oil for making 8 cents profit on a gallon of gas while they tax us 15 cents a gollon. It’s all going to be OK when Barack the new mesiah comes into power right?

  30. Joe

    I’m liking this girl more and more.

  31. dude_on_a_wire

    Spence marks the occasion of going hardcore, locked-n-loaded by dressing up as a Liberace boy toy – nice. Ted wins comment of the day award.

  32. Lola

    LOOK AT THESE TACKY NON-MATCHING ASS COLOR-BLIND FUCKTARDS…. WHAT THE HELL FISH…. STOP POSTING THESE RETARDED TEST TUBE ASSHOLES’ PICTURES ANYMORE….

    I HOPE THEY SHOOT EACH OTHER IN THE FACES WHILE THEY’RE BOTH HOLSING THEIR GUNS, FAKING A POSE FOR ONE OF THEIR MANY PHOTO-OPS… RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE…. SHE SHOOTS HIM ON HIS ALBINO GOATEE AND HE SHOOTS EVERY PART OF HER BOSY THAT’S FAKE…. MEANING HE’LL BE SHOOTING ALL OF HER

  33. nipolian

    #27 – What are you wasting a good trip on this site for………Go watch some Ren and Stempy or jam to some Led Zepplin for crying out loud.

  34. elastic

    I say we all go take them out with their own firearms.

  35. jzz

    stick an afro on this douche and i swear he looks EXACTLY like richard Simmons.

  36. MightyD

    #6 Unfortunatly for us, being a retard is also a constitutional right. Luckely though, so is the right to call u a retard. F’in retard! Mmmm…That might be prejudicial to retards…

    Superficial dude. Enough already! Who cares about these freakin’ posers! They’re even less interesting than the whorish “real” celebs and it seems we got a post for them everyday. I would so smash their faces with a crowbar it’s unbeleivable! It’s worst than with the ChinWentzMasters…

  37. Randal

    Thanks Fish for posting!

    Heidi is back wearing a tight, very fashionable outfit, cute and all.

    What’s even better are the shots of her trying on different styles to match her bubbly and positive personality.

    LOVING IT girl!

    Randal

  38. tp

    The last pic of Spencer makes me want to club him like a baby seal.

  39. juli

    PLEASE MAKE THEM GO AWAY. PLEASE. I KNOW THEY ARE IDIOTS, BUT STOP PRINTING STORIES ABOUT THEM, THEY MAKE ME NOT WANT TO READ YOU, MY FAVORITE SITE

  40. LSD in the butt

    #34-yes did a little Led , some Floyd. FUN!!

    that was 8times ago so now I came on here to try and fall asleep.

    And, you are right i should not have came on because the 2 headed beast /shoebox headed and penis face thing I thought I just saw is ruining the end of my trip. SHIT. … And by monster I mean Hedi and spencer.

  41. I am going to...

    …shove my fist up Randal’ ass before the ages of the Earth expire, I vow this.

    Randal, you can go get married now. Why don’t you and Ted from LA (oh by the way Lakers fans – Haaaaaaaa Haaaaaaa) go to CA and get hitched.

  42. Intelligent People

    “Congress just told Bush that we can’t drill for our own oil. Be prepared for $7 a gallon gas. What has the Democratic controlled Congress done since they came into power…..(cricket chirp) Nothing. Gas and food prices out of control and they want to tax big oil for making 8 cents profit on a gallon of gas while they tax us 15 cents a gollon. It’s all going to be OK when Barack the new mesiah comes into power right?”

    Gee, now who was in control when all these problems began? Oh yeah…

    Nobody’s looking for a messiah. We’re just more than ready to kick the retard out (Bush). And we’re not going to replace him with a guy who does a great impression of the retard as an elderly person with dementia (McCain).

  43. Grobpilot

    Swimsuit? I guess she’s modeling the latest in “bush” apparel for hunting out in the woods.

    By the way, fuck all you gun control idiots. Keep a close eye on what’s happening in this country and around the world. The day is coming when we, as individuals, will have to defend ourselves. Granted, these two retards shouldn’t be allowed to hold squirt guns because they would drown themselves but the rest of us have a constitutional right to own and, when necessary, use firearms for hunting and defense.

    You have the right to NOT own them, if you choose. But do not stand in the fucking way and try to impose your bullshit on those of us who do choose to exercise our rights.

  44. Randal

    Sorry, Spencer this one is again for Heidi. Play your guns right and you might be next!

    Heidi, you are a breath of sunshine in my otherwise dull world. Don’t listen to the haters on this site! All of them would trade places with you in a second.

    You are a twinkling little star. Keep twinkling love. After all, all you ever demanded was your right to twinkle.

    Twinkle on Heidi! Twinkle on!

    Much love!

    Randal

  45. Sanity

    The country with the greatest number of guns and highest gun ownership per capita has the highest rate of violent crime involving guns. Only the inflexible absolutists fail to grasp this and work toward reasonable measured solutions. Even better, there’s always violent aggressive language in the speech of people who oppose rational attempts at gun control. The good thing is, you’re losing. Slowly but surely.

  46. LL

    I don’t figure either of them for murder-suicide. I’d say accidental shooting is more likely. I didn’t think anyone was actually stupid enough to clean a loaded gun, but I believe both of these two are. So maybe one night, the female one will decide to make the gun all shiny and will accidentally shoot the allegedly male one, then, in the course of freaking out, will drop the gun and it will again discharge, hitting a vital organ and resulting in her very timely death.

    That’s what it looks like in my head, anyway.

  47. Lola

    Tundra #6
    Most of us here don’t live in Alaska where human are the source of food and are hunted and stomped to death….. So we can’t feel for you. Maybe you should invite these assholes back to Alaska with you since they’re all set to go on a killing spree…. But you have to promise they’ll be killed in a good way. And record it so we here in the US can stop having nightmares that they’ll be returning

  48. The Grim Reaper

    Hey you two! The contract you signed for your fame is almost up and I’ll be collecting! muahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

  49. Yackem

    #15:

    In what state do you reside? What problem do you have with Alaska?

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