There. Hopefully that headline will make asshat lovers Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt think twice about participating in another one of their dipshit posed photo sessions. Then, even worse, they forced this poor Negro fellow to be party to their shenanigans. What’d he ever do to you? For shame. Anyway, I catch a lot of shit for posting pics of these two because apparently I’m just bolstering their celebrity. But, c’mon. Who’s seriously staring at them thinking “Goddamn, please drench me in the excruciating minutiae of their daily lives!” No one’s that stupid. And if they are, don’t worry. Chances are they’ve swallowed their mouse by now.
UPDATE: Criss Angel rushed to hospital. A stomach pump produced a wireless mouse, an albino sloth and enough rhinestones to Bedazzle China – twice.
jennifer | April 17, 2008 at 4:16 pm
wow
Heidi M. | April 17, 2008 at 4:18 pm
We bought this negro for a grate, um, great price when we went to Africa last week. Wait. Whatta ya mean slavery’s illegal?
sportsdvl | April 17, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Hadn’t ever heard of either of these two douche bags until seeing them on this site. Still not sure why they are “famous”, but I hear they are both on http://www.UselessDoucheBagsWhoWantAttention.com.
restingonlaurels | April 17, 2008 at 4:21 pm
oooh… carrying her on the shoulders looks rather uncomfortable…
restingonlaurels | April 17, 2008 at 4:23 pm
@3 i’d never heard of them either, as mtv or whatever network that show is on doesn’t register as entertainment in my mind, just mindless drivle.
Fernando Valenzuela | April 17, 2008 at 4:26 pm
negro?..geez what are we in the 50′s?..why not just call him “colored”?
Heidi M. | April 17, 2008 at 4:27 pm
I love how all of these staged photo sessions show them doing “normal”, everyday things – only no one actually does any of these things because they are not, in fact, normal activities (Seriously, when was the last time you saw a grown man carrying a grown woman – wearing banana colored pants, no less – on his shoulders through a park? Just because she has the mental capacity of a three year old doesn’t mean you need to carry her around like one.). And these two are completely oblivious to that fact.
Mario | April 17, 2008 at 4:30 pm
lol – amazing story, I’ll be back a little while later to read the race war that’ll be raging throughout this article’s comments.
oh! and, well, they’re both still douches. Almost forgot about that, woe is me.
Auntie Kryst | April 17, 2008 at 4:31 pm
I keep wanting to stuff Newports in their mouths. These douchefuckers are a living “Alive with Pleasure” print ad.
BunnyButt | April 17, 2008 at 4:32 pm
There’s my favorite feminist advancing the feminist cause by engaging in more of those great feminist activities she’s so famous for! You go, girl!
Black | April 17, 2008 at 4:33 pm
You sound almost as racist as these two cunts look. Negro is a older term that some BLACK people find racist. Please, try these words..
-African
-African American
-Black
nipolian | April 17, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Is it Ok to use the word negro? I mean I know it was at one time but then there was black, colored and then african american. I can’t kkep up with the acceptable term so from now on I am going to be safe and use the term “Kwanzaa Approbationist.”
restingonlaurels | April 17, 2008 at 4:36 pm
lol @ 9 – totally newport fodder.
aja | April 17, 2008 at 4:38 pm
These two are just sitting there, how is that racist?
the fish writer is being racist
veggi | April 17, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Republican Heidi is thinking “this is the rightful place for a nig” while Spencer is caressing his own anus and thinking “his is the rightful place for that nig’s huge throbbing cock.”
Oveta | April 17, 2008 at 4:41 pm
laf @ 3 and 9
i thought they were brother and sister – who knew?
HuckyDucky | April 17, 2008 at 4:41 pm
I still want to see a cage match with Spencer Pratt and Criss Angel.
The event will be pay-per-view. Tina Turner will be the emcee.
“Two Douches Enter…One Douche Leaves!”
Pedal Cab Driver | April 17, 2008 at 4:41 pm
I disagree that the picture is racist. There are pedal taxi drivers all over the world that get paid to cart people around. If those two sophisticates treated that man graciously and compensated him fairly for his work, then where does race come into play? What IS wrong is how racially judgmental people can still be. Welcome to 2008, where all people can be equals just below undeserving celebrities.
Angus | April 17, 2008 at 4:42 pm
So the black guy is doing unskilled manual labor, big deal. What, have we all become Obama-elitists? Besides we all know it’s either unskilled manual labor or no labor at all.
Harry | April 17, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Typical Racist Republicans.
Sophie | April 17, 2008 at 4:45 pm
They’re a walking MENTOS commerical
roastbeef | April 17, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I wish Heidi would fall of Spencer’s shoulders and smash her stupid fat head into the ground!!!
nipolian | April 17, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Re: Spencer’s shoes in the last pic……..I think those are the same ones that Randy Quaid gave Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation….only black not white.
SAMBO | April 17, 2008 at 4:50 pm
wow…. these two are complete idiots. i seriously hate looking at them
Barack | April 17, 2008 at 4:51 pm
It’s like Alaskan huskies. Once they put this guy in the harness, he WANTED to pull. It’s instinctive. They like it.
Auntie Kryst | April 17, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Pictures 14 & 15. Mom meet Spencer, Spencer meet mom. Sorry couldn’t resist.
Karen Walker | April 17, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Wish that carriage would tip over and crack their heads open. I could use some more Jelly Bellies..
bbb | April 17, 2008 at 4:55 pm
they even brought a carrot to feed the horse
Jimbo | April 17, 2008 at 4:55 pm
When are these two going to die and a plane crash or get ran over by a bus??
Guy | April 17, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Jesus christ fish, as much as I hate these two, you are the one that brought them to our attention, plus that black guy is just doing his fucking job, his decision.
audio | April 17, 2008 at 4:58 pm
for the horse pictures:
Spencer: “Hey, he’s got your face!”
Heidi: “You’re going to watch “Zoo” again, aren’t you?”
My RightTit | April 17, 2008 at 5:01 pm
The horse looks embarrassed by its resemblance to Heidi. Poor nag.
ph7 | April 17, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Heidi’s got one hell of a PR person.
ph7 | April 17, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Three – count ‘em – three wardrobe changes in a single stroll in Central Park.
poonmoon | April 17, 2008 at 5:04 pm
And she’s voting for John McCain, what a fucking shocker that is.
Look at them, they’re so fucking proud of themselves. It’s painfully hilarious.
… and don’t go complaining that Fish posted these turds neither, we all fucking like laughing at them and you know it. Every society needs people who everyone is mocking and yet they still don’t get it, now that Bush will soon be going back to his prior “career” ( trying to eat whole pretzels without needing a heimlich ) and working on “big building contracts” ( making ugly sandcastles at the playground in his retard helmet and safety pads) these smiley faced photo op loving little fuckers have volunteered to be the next losers who are clueless to their loosersness, the douches who don’t know they are douches. Comedy thrives on turds like this. Isn’t all if Hollywood basically just a bunch of Heidis and Spencers to lesser and greater degrees?
adoe | April 17, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Good gosh people, fish was JOKING when he said negro. It’s all part of the context in making fun of these 2 totally ridiculous posers!!
Sam | April 17, 2008 at 5:05 pm
With each series of pictures we watch the poor gay boy’s soul slowly die. Meanwhile the shark girl with the dislocating jaw only grows stronger.
Heidi | April 17, 2008 at 5:07 pm
“What I nice horsey! Hey, he likes me! It’s almost as if he recognizes me! Spencer, do you have something to feed him? Spencer? My god, Spencer, stop picking your ass or whatever you’re doing and…hey! A carrot!”
National Geographic reader | April 17, 2008 at 5:10 pm
They’re banning rickshaws in India for this very reason.
Crit | April 17, 2008 at 5:11 pm
what happens if the BLACK person isn’t from Africa??? Good comment though…
Jesse | April 17, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Just like with horses, the problem isn’t that this animal is pulling the two people on a ride, it’s the awful smell that they have to endure if they’re downwind.
Karen Walker | April 17, 2008 at 5:15 pm
What? All Africans are from Africa. Just like all Vikings are from Minnesota. It’s exactly the same thing.
Rev. Wright | April 17, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Obama told me his racist grandmother used to go on these types of rides all the time.
dirt chicken | April 17, 2008 at 5:18 pm
What … no whip ?
Isaberg | April 17, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Anyone else see the resemblance between Heidi and the horse?
Kat | April 17, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Number 2′s a fake…Heidi can’t doesn’t write comments
Or just can’t write…either way.
John McCain | April 17, 2008 at 5:20 pm
They don’t have “Stolen Bike Rides” at the park where I grew up.
jzz | April 17, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Goddamn He looks like such a Douche!
B. Obama | April 17, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Is it me or does the driver look bitter?
Ted from LA | April 17, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Negro? What the hell Fish? Negro. At least step into the 1960s and call them coloreds or darkies.