Heidi & Spencer pretend to shop for $12 mil house, bribe realtor to go along with it

July 24th, 2008 // 105 Comments

Heidi and Spencer love to take everyday events and turn them into photo shoots so fucking retarded, you’ll swear you’ve been huffing paint all morning. Here some hapless realtor is forced to take part in their shenanigans. But, then again, this man has no soul because he later lied to TMZ about Mr. and Mrs. Cockweasel’s real estate potential:

So we thought it was a big publicity stunt, until we called the realtor who showed the property. Sandro Dazzan says they’re “serious buyers,” although he doesn’t think they’ll pull the trigger right away. Dazzan stunned us when he said they can afford the $12 million beach house right now, but that they’re “at least six months” out from being able to afford the bigger house.

Serious buyers who won’t pull the trigger. Interesting, Sandro. So, basically, Heidi showed you her boobs, and you agreed to pretend they’ve got money? Unless a commission shot out of her nipples, congratulations, you’re an idiot. The only way these two can buy a house is if you let them pay in forced smiles and chin wax.

superficial

  1. Jimbo

    Seriously, how come anyone out there in La La Land hasn’t beaten the holy hell out of Spencer yet?

  2. huawva

    lol. She is really sexy!!! I have ever seen her hot video at **:::M e e t i n g W e a l t h y.c o m:::** that is a celebrity da ting sit e for wealt hy or sexy singles. She is really hot with bikini in that video. You will know how passionate it is after seening it!

  3. joey joejoe

    please someone kill these fucking arsehats

  4. Lucy

    Heidi has fat arms. Gross.

  5. Chupacabra

    look up “trying too hard” in the dictionary…

  6. Barak Obama

    These two could be my neighbor any time. I would fuck her like I did my other neighbor when her metro-sexual husband was out of town.

    Then my gay brother could ass pound spencer. It is a win-win situation all around.

  7. Yo Mama

    These are the two biggest fucktards I’ve ever seen…stop reporting on them so they’ll go away PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. It’s like this for Spencer in pic 2…..

    ….Takin’ care of business every day
    ….Takin’ care of business every way
    ….I’ve been takin’ care of business, it’s all mine!
    ….Takin’ care of business and working overtime
    ….Work out!

  9. Jeezy

    What a couple of fucking douchebags! I have never seen someone try so hard and fail at appearing “natural”. In every one of these staged photo shoots, Heidi has a stupid, open-mouth look on her face as she pretends to be interested in whatever the fuck they are doing. Even the fucking real estate agent is an actor. FUCK!

  10. shiek

    they can afford a 12 million dollar house, but they can’t afford a $10 car wash on that dirty ass BMW they are driving :)

  11. havoc

    Jeff Goldblum is a real estate agent?

    huh….

    .

  12. Kay

    FYI Heidi, you should never open your mouth like that if you haven’t realize your chin is as big as Rumor Willis and whats with the outfit??!! I suggest you take the money you spent on those Hermes handbags and get someone to sculpt your chin huh.

  13. havoc

    Oh and the bird shit in the second photo is a nice touch….

    .

  14. woodhorse

    If only that big-ass piece of luggage she carries around could be the cause of their accidental death,,.. if only. I would settle for changing the lyrics to Somewhere Over the Rainbow Spencer and Heidi Die.

  15. Tom Cruise

    Why d’ya say they hav no moneyz? IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE BLACK ISN’T IT? ISN’T IT?

  16. Mr Smith

    Fuck me doesn’t her moronic default ‘open-mouthed’ pose make you want to smash her face in?

  17. sloane

    Noooooooooooooooo! Please don’t move to Malibu! Please don’t move to Malibu! It better not be Malibu…

  18. Deacon Jones

    Take us out this Friday with some bikini pics Fish! I forgot to jerk off this morning.

    Good friend just dumped his girlfriend last night, OH YEAH, time to partay!

  19. hot mess

    @13 havoc,

    “Oh and the bird shit in the second photo is a nice touch….”

    oh jeez, I thought that was Spencer splooging at the thought of the publicity he’d be getting. my bad.

  20. *&^%!!!

    does this bitch ever close her fucking mouth?

  21. Clem

    All I feel is pure white-hot hate towards these two.

  22. ph7

    I wonder what it is like to spend your whole life posing.

  23. Roy99

    Please stop reporting on these two. Please. I can’t remember ever hating two Z-list celebrities more. I want them both to get polio.

  24. Lipper

    I guess the fuckwads get the last laughs on us all. More you hate them, just makes them more rich.

  25. adeliza

    I’d like to take a pick axe to both of these 2.

    That bird shit is a hoot! Strategically placed! I can’t believe they actually allowed that pic to be published. Someone in their publicity department wasn’t paying attention.

    What a bunch of retarted, ass-hat, fools.

  26. tp

    Please throw her over the balcony, please please PLEASE!!!!!

  27. In the history of useless celebs, there has never been 2 more unworthy retards. Why any paparazzi or celeb shit rag gives a hoot about these 2 fuckers is beyond me. Why won’t some crazed meth addict take them out? Is that too much to ask?

  28. Advocate

    Dear Superfish Writer,

    If you really despised them as much as we all do, then you would stop posting on them EVERY F***ING DAY. Admit it, you’re obsessed with them. On behalf of all the readers, please stop reporting on plastic tits and pube face.

  29. Jen

    Heidi needs a STYLIST ASAP!!!

  30. dude_on

    Boycott – last comment for these morons – fish will stop when the comments number (0) – as it is currently the love to hate demand for these asswipes make their posts big page view numbers. Let it go people – vote with your ability to ignore.

  31. Not telling

    what the fuck is wrong with these people? and what the fuck is wrong with you superficial person for wasting time on these 2 dicks?

  32. It's Britney Bitches

    In Pic #2, Heidi totally reminds me of Kate from Titanic. “I’m flying Jack, I’m flying!” And Spencer just looks like a raging toolbox, trying to look like he’s some big-wig professional, closing deals, making it happen, living the dream. Except that one day he’s going to realize that everyone in America makes fun of his feeble attempts at looking important, and hates him and his stupid vacant Barbie doll girlfriend. And thanks to everyone who pointed out the massive bird shit in their “glamour” shot, that is too funny. Even birds hate these assclowns.

  33. lola

    they are so stupid

  34. lola

    they are so stupid

  35. I would love to show her my bedroom… she might be fake as hell, but I would bang that like a coconut.

  36. they probably already had that freaking money. spencer – are you kidding me? that fat tool hasn’t worked a day in his life. he comes from money…that’s why he’s such a fat tool. i like how they pretend that they actually *made* the money…maybe from the success of that putrid single that heidi put out last year, the video for which spencer shot with his little camcorder?

  37. friendlyfires

    Hey, I clicked on an ad! Ka-ching!
    I lurvs da indernetsch

  38. Well nobody wants to take real paparazzi shots of them so why not stage them and make them look reeaaallll fake. Seriously what realtor would fall for this shit. He probably always wanted to have candids taken of himself or is a wannabe actor who thought this was a nice gig! Why can’t they just vanish?

  39. Bosworth

    Oh please, oh please, let them go to Iraq on that “morale” mission. This situation needs Marines with live ammo.

  40. wtf

    Lucy #4. You’re a highschool kid right? Call these idiots anything you like, but fat? NO. Fat arms on Heidi? That’s just brainless. Go look in the mirror and hold your arms against your body, even Nicole Richie’s or Angelina’s spear fishing arms squish when held against their torso.
    Heidi just hasn’t perfected the arm pose yet, when in pictures always hold your arms out never ever rest them against your body, wether you are male or female it’s unflattering, it ruins the appearance of muscle tone and makes a very slim arm look flabby. Give her a few days and you’ll never see her in this pose again.

    Back to the mirror Heidi, you have to work on looking candid and unflabby a little harder. While your at it please smash you’re head into the mirror. But I guess you alreadt do that everytime “hey look I have a twin” SMASH.

    You know I would love to see Heidi leave Spencer for a dude like this real estate man, she wants someone rich you can tell, someone who dresses like a man not a boy, someone slimy but more maturish; a Fiorelli if you will. In the last pic it looks like she with mr. real estate and they are greeting some sweaty highschool kid or some shit.

    Heidi is horrible and nasty, but if Spencer thinks he will hold on to his bitch he’s got another thing coming. I mean the song golddigger starts playing when she opens her legs, so that should tell him something and NO she didn’t get an ipod stuck up there assface, it’s god’s way of warning you tool.

  41. spencerisatool

    these people dont deserve to be rich. i wish everything was taken away from them so they could stop living in a fucking bubble and realize how pathetic their lives really are. and im sorry but theyre both unnattractive people… sure if u put enough money into it you can kindof mask it… but imagine waking up to those faces first thing in the morning without any of the makeup & clothes… gross.

  42. quit you're bitchin'

    People stfu about superfish posting these asstards, you know you like hating them and making fun of them. It makes you feel better about your life to see these disgusting loosers. We need the George Bushes of the world, we need the assclowns, they are a necessary part of life, didn’t your moms explain this shit to you when you watched the lion king. It’s the circle of life to trash the loosers, I mean what the fuck do you think this website is all about. NONE of the people on here are deserving of the fame and attention they get, NO ONE in Hollywood is either and that’s why we trash them. Accept it, Spiedi is part of the celebretard clan. Let the haiting go on.

  43. Aerialgreen

    YES! YES! I bet these self-deluded assholes actually think whatever money they are making from being MTV’s village idiots of the year will last forever and are buying their way into a financial nightmare (that they so fucking deserve) that eventually will put them in trailer park they belong.

  44. Melissa

    Damn… her fuckin chin is freakishly ginormous!

  45. Prattle

    Her long donkey face is creepy. She’s going to look like Camilla Parker-Bowles when she’s older.

    Seriously though, these two are walking empty shells of people. There is no integrity, nothing of substance inside.

  46. monty

    [Disclaimer: I go to abovetopsecret.com waaay too much.]

    Anyone else see this photoshoot as a desperate attempt by the powers that be (who created these two fucktards with trauma-based mind control) to delay the implosion of the economy with a bit of house-buying propaganda?

    Or maybe they’re just two fucktards.

  47. Robin Williams

    Why? Just answer me that… why do you continuously post pictures and stories about these two? Are you being paid off?

    You’re a bigger loser then the two of these ass clowns combined.

  48. ak's name

    I’m with shiek. 12 million dollar pad. Dirty ass BMW? But then again, we all heard the story about Sir Spencer’s $700+ bar tab and only tipped the waitress $16, right?

  49. katie

    Eventhough i think hes a douchebag and shes retarded for sticking w him. I LOVE her clothes, hair and LV handbags lately. She could use a tan but otherwise looks amazing!

  50. lara

    I think that someone who has enough money to spare should put a prize on Captain Chin’s boyfriend’s head. You can always look at it as charity and even get a tax brake. Note to superficial writer: Not bad for an amateur, an? I can write some your post for you…***********:)

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