Heidi & Spencer: Oh yeah, these two should get cat AIDS

May 13th, 2008 // 116 Comments

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt posed for some fake Mother’s Day photos with Heidi’s mom. I almost had a heart attack when I found out it was actually her real mom. Heidi and Spencer did something real?! Why is the room suddenly spinning? Anyway, these photos prove that there’s not a holiday out there these two assclowns won’t ruin with photos that would make Norman Rockwell shit a cactus. That said, I’m looking forward to Heidi and Spencer’s Kwanzaa photos later this year. Should be tasteful, and, God willing, the cause of death on the coroner’s report.

superficial

  1. veggi

    FIRST you fucking anal sores

  2. KikiM

    What idiots.

  3. Andy

    so…Spencer…dude…nice fucking clothes. You’re putting out for a rich retired golfer, aren’t you? Did mom see the geezer cheese dripping out of your ass?

  4. My Penis

    Two Fucktards and a Milf.

  5. hot mess

    OM FUCKING GOD. These are the whitey-est whiteys on the face of the planet. I think my eyes just exploded. That first pic is just ridiculous. These two have officially lost their souls. Cat aids is too good for them.

  6. J

    Now I know where Heidi gets her fucking idiotness….

  7. Auntie Kryst

    Picture 10 is just precious. Notice how the mare gently nuzzles her foal.. Seriously Fish dude, we had a pretty good run for a few days without seeing these douchefuckers faces. What gives??

  8. 1BigBear

    What the fuck is that? Why is that dude running around with a giant picture of what seems to be a terrible portrayal of a flower? Why the fuck do they meet for mothers day in a park? Why not a strip club? Or a brothel?
    Who watches this shit?

  9. Randal

    You know, as staged as these pictures tend to be, I really enjoy looking at Heidi.

    She take great care of herself and clothes just stick to her like paint, revealing all her secret curves and tickle spots. How can one not even notice those perfectly white teeth and charming smile?

    Smooches!

    Randal

  10. mrah

    Please stooooooooooooop posting pictures of these two. They’re idiots, we get it, and we’re over it. If we want to see their ridiculous faces we can just google them.

  11. pathetic

    #7 why do you have to throw racial slurs into it? What’s wrong with you? What does it matter if they are white? Man if someone wrote about beyonce & jayz being the blackest black they’d be tarred and feathered. I think cat aids is too good for YOU

    Now #9 has it correct. They are indeed douchefuckers faces. But leave the “white” part out of it, #7.

  12. Rick

    In the top pic Spencer’s doing his Heidi-mouth impression because he just spotted a cute 8-year-old boy.

  13. I’d barf on that painting and hopefully some would run into Spencer’s open mouth

  14. Jimbo

    When did they get back together? On the show they are broken up? Does this ruin my chances with Spencer?

  15. hot mess

    @10 1BigBear

    That is a giant mother’s day card. People give very big cards a) as a joke or b) to emphasize tehir sentiment (i guess). In this case tho’ it is just a ploy for the photo shoot so that the whole fucking world knows that pie-hole and pencil-dick gave their mum a card.

    I do however have to say that i am digging the amount of leg/butt the mom is showing in pic1. MILF?

  16. Simplicity

    I agree with #12

    If ya stop posting.. they’ll have nobody to be posey cheeseballs for.

  17. minniememe

    they are the honkiest of honkies and plasticky of plastics and every photo these Mattel doll rejects take are not worthy to come with any generic walmart picture frame

  18. veggi

    #13 – chill out, captain kneejerk. These are indeed a trio of caspers. Just as blacks have their embarrassing types (Bobby Brown, Michael Jackson, the 47% of them currently on welfare) whites also have a few cringers. They have jobs, pay taxes, don’t have a long record of crimes or addictions to crack, etc., but still, in a vastly more subtle and refined (not to mention: evolved) perspective, they’re a little embarrassing for the rest of us.

  19. Bodie

    Who the fuck keeps their mouth open that wide all the time? What is WRONG with these assholes? It is beyond creepy the way these two set up all these photo shoots masquerading as actual life. Plus, I think Heidi is trying to get fashion designers to give her some free clothes/accessories with the way she’s making sure that handbag gets displayed in all the shots. The whole thing makes me want to VOM.

  20. MIke

    The AIDS headline is offensive.

  21. hot mess

    @13 pathetic – I *do* have cat aids :( and it hurtz….

    and i am sorry i don’t care if it seems like a racial slur to you, they look like a freaking ad for whiteness.

  22. Rip R.

    I agree 100% with Mike. There’s absolutely no need for it and it’s not funny. The acronym “AIDS” is quite an emotional term for people who care about others, and it’s completely heartless to try (unsuccessfully) to use it as fodder for jokes.

    In the future, please refrain from referring to “AIDS” here, as it’s inappropriate.

    Or at least spell it out: Anally Injected Death Serum, a/k/a, Adios Infected Dick Sucker.

    Thank you,

    Rip Rectum

  23. JR

    What the fuck is wrong with these two???

  24. Not that I watch a lot of porn or anything, but if I was a repairman and this mom answered the doorbell, the kitchen table would get a thick vaginal secretion sheen before anything got fixed.

  25. Debbie Downer

    Feline aids is the number one killer of cats.

  26. #26 – nice try with the wrong spelling, but I’d write “just poped”

  27. 10pound

    thats an insult to cats everywhere.

  28. Ben

    I would have thought AIDS was a big problem mostly for poodles.

  29. soundtrack

    #27: and the music in the background goes bow-chicka-bow-bow…

  30. makes me wonder..

    why the HELL do these dickwads still get posted?

  31. Monstra

    Mrs. Montag, you raised a conniving whore. Congratulations!
    May you spend the rest of your life dealing with Spencer.

  32. vic

    What is so offensive about bringing up aids? People have have it deserve it because either A) they were being nasty whores, or B) they were addicts sharing a needle. Either way, people who have aids need to die.

  33. toolboy

    and decades from now when they are on Hollywood Squares Survivor 2035 and have aligned themselves with Solomon Grundy and Brainiac to overthrow the Banker and LC, I will be able to say that I have been following their careers for years…

  34. hot mess

    they get posted b/c they are ridiculously hilarious to look at. it’s like a fucking cartoon rendering of people…just look at the pictures…not even a chuckle? a smile? nothing? only frowns and knitted eyebrows? c’mon @33 “makes me wonder”…crack a smile. Jimbo said he “jus pooped”. that there’s funny, i don’t care who you are.

  35. Captain Fist

    I would seriously bone Mrs. Montag’s butt… Then her mouth

  36. your mom

    The paps should just boycott these used tampons, and quit giving them publicity. The picture of Spencer with his mouth open looks like there’s a lawn gnome behind him giving him some pleasure. If I never have to see another picture of these two again, I just might make it!

  37. Ted from LA

    I’d like to kick all three of them in the twat.

  38. Dear god. Can the apocalypse be far behind?

  39. ph7

    As much as I hate to admit this, I bet she has a sweet, tight, pretty vag.

  40. Mike

    These two have GOT to be the biggest media whores to ever walk the planet. I wish a bus would get dropped on them.

  41. minniememe

    @35: you are just full of tasty tardness! might i partake and lick it off your infected hole?

  42. NastyBedazzler

    I actually like these Heidi Montag posts. I look at each and every photo and laugh hysterically. The very idea that they try to pass these off as real blows my mind.

  43. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    These 2 and their staged photo ops, should be transported back in to time to the French Revolution cos they are truly revolting and Guillotined and their heads stuck on spikes for us all to laugh at and for Fish to put on his page.

  44. whatever

    um, hello. that’s a freaking birkin bag. how in the freak did heidi montag get a birkin bag?

  45. sickboy

    Who are these people again?

  46. vic

    @44-Certainly, as soon as you get out of elementary school and learn how to capitalize.

  47. meanmofo

    FIRST!!!!!!

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