Because Jesus prohibits the learning of natural selection, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are honeymooning in Mexico this week. Turns out there’s some sort of influenza going on down there. Maybe you guys have heard of it – everywhere. Anyway, they had some free time to call in to Ryan Seacrest this morning which is exactly what I’d be doing with my fake-breasted bride on my honeymoon. If a stingray ate my penis. People reports:
On a “pre-honeymoon” in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, the pair are “wearing face masks everywhere we go. We’re in isolation, we’re in full hiding,” Pratt told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show Tuesday morning.
The couple, who held a wedding Saturday in California, went to Mexico for Montag to shoot a music video.
With the outbreak of the flu, which has so far killed 149 people in Mexico, the couple is being extra cautious. “Every second we’re washing our hands,” Montag told Seacrest.
“Since it’s a recession,” said Pratt, “we just might go to Santa Monica Beach.”
Dear Mexico,
Mucho dinero. Muerte para los diablos blancos.
The Superficial
mikeock | April 28, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I’m sorry, but who, exactly, are these two goons?
Oh … FIRST, losers.
Geoff | April 28, 2009 at 2:34 pm
He’s such an idiot, his tie still has the store tag attached (last pic). I really hope they get influenza and never come back.
Mike Hawk | April 28, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Just like him to bring a pig to a swine flu party…douche
GuyHolly | April 28, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Ummmm……..just exactly are these huge breast?
I CALL LINDA A WHORE IN THE BODY OF THIS MESSAGE | April 28, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Oh yeah these two will last forever. How long until Spencer realizes he’s young and needs to try out some more Vag before doing some dumb shit like this.
Zanna | April 28, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Great. Now Horseface Heidi is in Mexico creating another hybrid strain of flu. It will be Equine & Swine. Swiquine.
Lettusaurus | April 28, 2009 at 2:56 pm
I don’t care what you all say. I would wreck that chick. Her body is smoking.
daguz | April 28, 2009 at 2:56 pm
fuck you for constantly reporting on them. fuck you. fuck you.
wishing real hard | April 28, 2009 at 2:56 pm
With any luck they wont be allowed back…
sirrix | April 28, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Thrice in one week. Fish, you’re a douche.
whoa | April 28, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Hahaha…does the stupidity ever end with these two?
KG | April 28, 2009 at 2:59 pm
I hate both of them, but that dress is very hot.
lizzy | April 28, 2009 at 3:02 pm
UGHHH it drives me INSANE that they give each other such LAME kisses!!!! if they’re so in love and all that bullshit, can they at least kiss each other like they are? they kiss like fucking 5th graders playing spin the bottle, it’s PATHETIC!
it just proves (to me at least) that they are full of fucking SHIT and probably aren’t even married, dating, together, whatever, and never have been. they are just two morons who like to get paid lots of money to put on a show for the tabloids.
hate hate hate hate.
sam | April 28, 2009 at 3:08 pm
#14 — hate hate hate hate.
Well said, Lizzy.
Barrack Obama | April 28, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I will do everything I can to go up against those who still deny the holocaust, such as these creeps: http://holocaustdenialvideos.com/
rupert0 | April 28, 2009 at 3:14 pm
god the fucking damm u are stupid .. Mexico City has and outbreak .,.. CABO SAN LUCAS in BAJA HAS 0 reports of swine flu cases..
b | April 28, 2009 at 3:17 pm
She is sooooooooooooo HOT!!!
tigerbaby | April 28, 2009 at 3:18 pm
She’s like, 25 years old and already has gnarled old lady hands.
Sad.
ok | April 28, 2009 at 3:22 pm
could these two being and dumber? a recession huh? since when did the recession have any effect on no-talent reality stars? mtv is still paying them, what a moron.
sarah | April 28, 2009 at 3:23 pm
He’s already not wearing his wedding ring!?
ok | April 28, 2009 at 3:24 pm
typo – could these two be any dumber?
ok | April 28, 2009 at 3:24 pm
typo – could these two be any dumber?
Speidie Die | April 28, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Wait, isn’t this their 3rd “marriage” to each other? Certainly their 3rd “honeymoon”. Oh, yeah, and what about their April Fool’s day prank- the immaculate conception “pregnancy”?
I hope that the old story of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” comes true, and we don’t ever hear about them again- even if they sprout wings and fly to Mars.
These two publicity sluts probably went to Mexico on purpose, believing it would get them more air time and photo ops. They would go to the opening of a can of Spam, if it got them in the tabloids.
I hope these wretched creatures go into “isolation” forever. Preferably with each other. Then the rest of us don’t need to be troubled by them. God knows they deserve each other…
RichPort's Ghost | April 28, 2009 at 3:29 pm
They’re lives are so scripted, I wouldn’t doubt it if they’re “honeymooning” at an MTV set somewhere.
Janey | April 28, 2009 at 3:30 pm
I will bet my left tit that Spencer is a homicidal maniac, who, as a young boy, would murder innocent woodland creatures and keep their hides in a shoebox under his bed. Every once in a while, he’d take them out and masturbate with them, calling them Mommy.
Now, if he murders his twatwaffle of a wife, then, well, there just might be a god.
Randal | April 28, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Thanks to The FISH for responding to my request to continue posting about Heidi & Spencer, the two of you are my favorite!
May you continue to enjoy the company of each other during your special moment in Mexico. Be safe and stay away from the locals.
Randal
gosyco | April 28, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Does a black dress trump an empty cranium?
@26 | April 28, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Dear Randal,
Please join these two in Mexico.
Love,
Everyone on the Superficial
Shockalator | April 28, 2009 at 3:47 pm
In that last pic, you just know he is asking, “I have to put my tallywacker in where? Ewwwww…gross!!!”
P.S. I hope they’re both french kissing every fukking pig they see.
JPRichardson | April 28, 2009 at 3:47 pm
She’s an idiot but has a SMOKING HOT body.
MightyD | April 28, 2009 at 3:48 pm
#8 #10 #13 i5
DIE!!!DIE!! U STUPID USELESS DICKLESS TWATLESS BRAINLESS BLOND MOTHER FUCKING RETARDED DOUCHES!! DIE!!DIE!!YOU GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING STOMACH TURNING UGLY BUTT FUCKING IDIOT WASTE OF HUMAN FUCK’N SKIN SCIENTO FUCK’N MORONIC DESIGN LOVING PIECE OF SHYTE!!!!!!!!!
…and FUCK YOU PHISH!
Edna Bambrick | April 28, 2009 at 3:49 pm
#8 has been reported.
Edna Bambrick | April 28, 2009 at 3:52 pm
#31 has also been reported.
MightyD | April 28, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Kiss the inbred incest blond twin couple Edna…and my left nut. Regards.
Chatham | April 28, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Why did she bring her Trapper Keeper on her honeymoon?
Beans Baxter | April 28, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Someone rub a pig on them
swine flu | April 28, 2009 at 4:00 pm
They need to be detained in Mexico and never let back in the country. Nay, the public. Don’t want the swine flu being spread to more people, right? And whatever happened to the Heidi/Spencer ban? Please reinstate it.
Maria Gomez | April 28, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Dear Superficial Writer,
Gratis. Con mucho gusto.
Atte,
México
-- | April 28, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Gorgeous dress!
sarah | April 28, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Bet he’s going to return his shirt and tie after the evening’s over.
Photoshop Police | April 28, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Fish… as a representative of all who hold your refusal to stop posting the douchebaggery of the speidi with contempt….
WE QUIT YOU!
SERIOUSLY!
WE MEAN IT!
WE’RE LEAVING.
NOT COMING BACK.
FOREVER!!!!
(see you tomorrow)
Speidie Die | April 28, 2009 at 4:35 pm
#’s 24, 25, 35 &36-
Bwaahahahahaha!
Hilarious!
Rebecca | April 28, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Oh god, I’m dreading her getting pregnant.
Speidi's future fetus | April 28, 2009 at 4:58 pm
#43 That’s OK, I’m planning to escape by week 12.
Speidie Die | April 28, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Oh, and Spence-her’s tie with the tags still on it? That’s so he can return it tomorrow, and get his money back. That’s how Spence-her is planning to get richer. Soiling things that you and I may be next in line to purchase.
Grotesque gargoyle goblin fucker that he is…
Joe Blow | April 28, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Last photo:
“What do you men you’re out of penis with zesty man-sauce? You call yourself room service????”
Fuck U | April 28, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Dear Randal,
Please die very soon.
Dear Edna,
Please shut the fuck up.
Dear Fish,
Please accept my heartfelt…Fuck You.
Dear All Others,
Please pray that those two assholes die in Mexico…I know I am.
Sincerly,
Fuck U
dk | April 28, 2009 at 5:16 pm
This is FUCKING BS posting this shit man!
Galtacticus | April 28, 2009 at 5:22 pm
I hope they have a great time.As long you don’t meet Mexicans it’s save to visit the country.
asdf | April 28, 2009 at 5:25 pm
@7
Yes.