Heidi & Spencer, Goddammit…

October 23rd, 2008 // 189 Comments

Before everyone births a walrus, I’ve been avoiding these two like the plague. That said, I’ve been bombarded with e-mails today alerting me to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s latest, and most shitass, photo shoot yet. In an obvious effort to get my attention, the Douche Twins posed in Sarah Palin shirts while holding a shotgun, six-pack and Harry Browne’s book “You Can Profit From a Monetary Crisis.” This, of course, comes extremely close to meeting condition #2 of my criteria for post-worthiness:

However, to show that I’m not an unreasonable man and for the sake of journalist integrity, I will make the following exceptions in allowing you on this site:
1. Heidi wears a bikini.
2. Heidi covers her topless chest in maple syrup while stumping for Sarah Palin at a Klan rally.

Granted, there’s no Aunt Jemima or Klansmen, these two asshats couldn’t be more gay for Sarah Palin if they started throwing Bibles at poor people. Anyway, to all my conservative readers, feel free to thank Heidi & Spencer for officially costing you the election. In fact, you can pinpoint the exact moment John McCain loses in these pictures: Right when someone forgot to load the gun. Smooth.

superficial

  1. trish

    this is not postworthy.

  2. Alicat

    WHITE FUCKING TRASH.

    Glad to see Heidi is wearing sensible shoes… what a slore.

  3. Matthew

    please stop psoting mr and mrs. douchesbags and again these two should go away!

  4. norton

    It’s just too bad that fagboy couldn’t have tripped and accidentally discharged the firearm killing them both.

    But I still have hope.

  5. Shep

    And republicans wonder why everybody thinks they are hicks with the IQ of a walrus. (yes I know, that was pretty harsh on the walrus) Not only can you pin them putting in the dumbest president of all time 2 terms in a row but now you can make fun of them for having Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag as their high profile supporters. Man that’s pathetic. Heidi probably identifies with Palin, they’re both fucking idiots.

  6. Christie

    Daisy dukes are only sexy without the pockets sticking out…. Why didn’t she just cut them off when she cut the trousers into shorts…. Other than that I hope the photo shoot was a joke… I hope, I mean they can’t really have thought a) it would be taken seriously b) help the McCain campaign!

  7. norton

    @155 – If the Democrats didn’t get out and vote, then how can you blame Republicans for “… putting in the dumbest president of all time 2 terms in a row…”?

    Really, are you that stupid?

    Want change? Then vote. Period. But when you’re done voting don’t piss and moan about the winner and/or loser.

  8. Kodos

    I would steal the beer, take the gun, shoot Spencer, violate Heidi, then drink the beers sitting atop their bleeding corpses.

    …or is it shoot Heidi and violate Spencer?…..

    God, I’m so confused.

  9. mafme

    Goddamn it, they’re the worst human beings.

  10. Jethro

    Everyone beware, they are very smart liberal operatives. Agents of reverse psychology and apathy.

    YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!!!!!

  11. S

    Wow…those people are pretty screwed in the head if their not joking “God, Guns and Glory” wtf? thats a joke right?

  12. fax

    If you can’t see that they are mocking Sarah Palin, then none of you deserve to vote. Come on, you don’t think that they stage all of this themselves do you?

  13. BraskyBuzzonSOB

    I thought you weren’t writing about these fags anymore. What a drag.

  14. moo

    Yayyy for these two, I love them.

    Its unfortunate the superficial writer is in the tank for obama, more appropriately because he would like to TANK obama if you know what I mean.

  15. guest

    All the more reason to vote Obama.

    (DON”T POST ABOUT THESE TWO ANYMORE!!!)

  16. i observed.......

    We just got lucky that Obama is a democrat. If he was republican, all the blacks would be voting for republican no matter what politics he’d be preaching. Seriously, is there a black in USA that’s actually going to vote for McCain?? Nope, because he aint black.

  17. WTF

    Who the hell are these ass hats? Please keep these idiots off the site. The number of comments posted here does not indicate any level of popularity, just disgust and desperate pleas for you to NEVER post about these idiots again! I’d rather read about some Z list star like Gary Coleman than these two vapid ass hats.

  18. GG1000

    They’re showing disturbing signs of actually having…senses of humor…actual, real ones. Scary.

  19. bort

    FUCK YOU FROM OZ!!!

  20. Louisville Slugger

    If somebody would just pitch them to me, I’d slap the shit out of both of them.

  21. ?

    #166 – The Republicans tried that with Alan Keyes and it didn’t work. As if blacks never vote for white people or vote Republican. Where have you been? They just don’t do it in droves. Is there is something wrong with black people voting for black people? Who else should they vote for? Tell me, why have so many white people voted for white people and should the rest of the world be concerned? NO? By the way, Newsflash! McCain does have black supporters! But McCain cares nothing about blacks or any other people who can’t marry a beer heiress. The only thing he seems to do well is make strange faces and poke his tongue out.

  22. Shallow Val

    I think these two are related and should be shot from a cannon into the sun, but GOD DAMN, I love me some shotguns.

  23. Asshats be gone!

    These two make my ass twitch, seriously you guys – my ass

    I get so irrationally angry seeing these two – but it makes me feel better that they are McCain supporters, two assmonkeys supporting the assmonkey regime.

    I do enjoy the fact that she likes to pretend that she knows how to read…maybe she dosn’t realize that it’s not a pop-up book

  24. Michelle

    hahahahha.

  25. stacy

    You’re a fucking dumbass. suck my pussy lips

  26. Wow… How amazing!!!!!I’ve heard they get each other on an age-gap dating club AgelessOnly.C O M, and now they are very satisfied with our current life.

  27. What happend to her freaking pockets?

  28. i have no idea who these douches are but, ill say she is hot.

    but, someone arrest that guy.

    booze + guns = fail

  29. missdk

    Oh my fucking GOD. Someone please put me out of my misery!

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