Heidi & Spencer, Goddammit…

October 23rd, 2008 // 189 Comments

Before everyone births a walrus, I’ve been avoiding these two like the plague. That said, I’ve been bombarded with e-mails today alerting me to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s latest, and most shitass, photo shoot yet. In an obvious effort to get my attention, the Douche Twins posed in Sarah Palin shirts while holding a shotgun, six-pack and Harry Browne’s book “You Can Profit From a Monetary Crisis.” This, of course, comes extremely close to meeting condition #2 of my criteria for post-worthiness:

However, to show that I’m not an unreasonable man and for the sake of journalist integrity, I will make the following exceptions in allowing you on this site:
1. Heidi wears a bikini.
2. Heidi covers her topless chest in maple syrup while stumping for Sarah Palin at a Klan rally.

Granted, there’s no Aunt Jemima or Klansmen, these two asshats couldn’t be more gay for Sarah Palin if they started throwing Bibles at poor people. Anyway, to all my conservative readers, feel free to thank Heidi & Spencer for officially costing you the election. In fact, you can pinpoint the exact moment John McCain loses in these pictures: Right when someone forgot to load the gun. Smooth.

superficial

  1. MJ

    Retards + booz + a shotgun, what a nice combo! Should I laugh or cry?

    Luckily America is loosing it worldwide (because of those smart choices of your 2 times!! elected president!! And I won’t even be surprised if AGAIN you guys choose republican, smart country) so it won’t really be that important who becomes president, at least not for us.
    And when dit Palin became more important than McCain? It’s still McCain – Obama right?

  2. MJ

    Retards + booz + a shotgun, what a nice combo! Should I laugh or cry?

    Luckily America is loosing it worldwide (because of those smart choices of your 2 times!! elected president!! And I won’t even be surprised if AGAIN you guys choose republican, smart country) so it won’t really be that important who becomes president, at least not for us.
    And when dit Palin became more important than McCain? It’s still McCain – Obama right?

    Oh and a sign of a cross alongside a sign of a gun, just how God and Jesus would want it. Fuck showing your left cheek

  3. voracious

    Don’t you guys get that they are making fun of themselves and Americans that actually DO endorse Mccain and Palin?

  4. Lil Kim

    I think the Superficial writer photographs Heidi and Spencer himself, then posts them on his site. What other explanation?

  5. Carson

    Forgive me but who are these douche bags? I’m in the UK but i’d vote Obarma if i could vote in the US.
    America, what a country God, Guns, Glorry….I wonder why the country is soooo fuct!

  6. Carson

    Forgive me but who are these douche bags? I’m in the UK but i’d vote Obarma if i could vote in the US.
    America, what a country God, Guns, Glorry….I wonder why the country is soooo fuct!

  7. Bodylotion

    Fod Gucking damn it. These fuckheads again. I thought they died, I haven’t read anything about them in the past two months on this site or so. Too bad they pop out here again. -1 Superficial

  8. Kahlee

    unstable platform heels + alcohol + mental retardation + a loaded, improperly handled gun = hilarious death. (hopefully)

  9. garamond

    she’s cute, though

  10. Ets

    Geez, surely, at some point even they should have the common sense to realise that these pictures are genuinely in bad taste.
    It looks like a catalogue shoot for stupidity.

    They should also realise that McCain doesn’t stand a realistic chance to win, and in the process they will alienate themselves in Hollywood. I wonder if they even have the foggiest what the issues are about.

    The sad thing about America is that the same retarded pop culture of adoring people without merit (Paris, Nicole, Lindsay, Britney, Kevin, etc) ensures this couple and Sarah Palin’s relative fame.

    Stooopid.

  11. Yank and wank they rhyme for a reason

    If anyone is working for Ore so goddamn dumbama it is this pair, no one could put anyone off Republicans like these two, although many Americans are so goddamned idiotic it would not surprise me if this diabolical duo have fans.

  12. Yank and wank they rhyme for a reason

    If anyone is working for obama it is this pair, no one could put anyone off Republicans like these two, although many Americans are so goddamned idiotic it would not surprise me if this diabolical duo have fans.

  13. Fox News Watcher

    Typical liberal elite commie anti-America comments, as expected from the media.

    These are two pro-America good guys. They are trying to provide support for everything that’s right about America. No wonder all of you morally decayed liberals are so upset about it. You’d prefer a picture of two terrorists, like, say, Michelle and Barry Hussein Osama.

  14. Diane

    I love that she’s holding the book upside down in the one closeup of her shirt – hahah!!

  15. F-Bitch

    isnt illegal to drink on the streets in America???….

  16. Just silly

    Come on, it’s all a goof. It’s silly and not at all mean-spirited. Let’s just laugh and move on.

    They are the whitest white people I’ve ever seen, though. They’re translucent.

  17. hannah

    ha ha ha the celebrities that support McCain are dumber than the celebrities that support Obama. Hahahaha

    Also because they are so dumb, and famous for doing nothing its likely they got to where they are now because they’re rich daddies paid for it. TYPICAL REPUBLICANS

  18. denise

    We’re all sick of these two assholes.
    Please put that shotgun to good use.PLEASE

  19. denise

    the typical Insane McCain and Idiot Palin supporters (suckporters)

  20. kaly

    seriously, these people need to die already

  21. Dave

    are there any two more worthless people in the world, i wish they were born in china, that way Heidi wouldve been left on a backroad somewhere to get eatten by a jackal, fuck these two seriously

  22. fielding

    She is so hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is said the met her on a sports datin gsite mysportsdate.com. Her sexy photos are found there.

  23. ms. mollie

    that’s it…

    i’m penciling in Lauren Conrad come november 4th.

  24. Joejam2845

    If McCain ends up winning this election, half of the entertainment industry will be on Suicide watch! I hope some of those losers end up that way…

  25. Joejam2845

    If McCain ends up winning this election, half of the entertainment industry will be on Suicide watch! I hope some of those losers end up that way…

  26. Bigo

    Beers, a gun… two assholes… God, please, please make it happen!!!!!!

  27. JPRichardson

    Is this McCain’s secret weapon?

    McCain sucks big time.

  28. Trig Palin

    SUPERFICIAL WRITER YOU PROMISED NOT TO DO THIS AGAIN!!!!

  29. Trix

    Like they can read. Heidi…. eat a burger and stop being so fake. Spencer…… put a bag over your head because I just puked in my mouth looking at you.

  30. caljenna66

    Sadly, I don’t think these two idiots are kidding, I can’t imagine they’re that clever. I believe they think they are really relevant, but unfortunately, their fan base consists of 8 year olds who can’t vote, so whatever…

    And I’m pretty sure walking around with an open container (the bottle, not Montag) and a shotgun is illegal in this state…

  31. grobpilot

    Fuck. Why have these two not yet shot each other in the pussy?

  32. superficial sucks balls

    Superficial,
    Youre a fucking asshole and you know it. Just like these two idiots. Youre probably one of these scum sucking liberals who wants to smear the McCain campaign. Burn in hell you fuckin hack.

  33. Right Fury

    I would like to point out that while I am the local gun enthusiast or “gun nut” as the looney left would call me, I do not condone, or support anyone drinking while using firearms. Spencer probably isn’t smart enough to handle a .22 responsibly, never mind throw a few budweisers at him.

    I wish they would be held in a bunker until the 5th. Them and jessica alba, hayden pannetierre… wait a minute. Shoot spencer first.. ok thats a better mental picture.

  34. AteIsEnough

    Very disappointed with the Sup!!!! Democracy does not live here… We voted and our votes must not have spoken. Unless of course you were counting the electoral votes and not the popular votes…oh HELL!!

  35. Susan Cultice

    Honestly, it is whatever. I don’t think they should die. No, they shouldn’t shoot each other. Just let them be weird and support whoever they want.

    How come some people find it hard to accept the fact that not everyone is going to vote for Obama?

    People who want to vote McCain//Palin have been told to die, suffer, leave, get a brain, grow up, and to save themselves and vote Obama.

  36. Big announcement coming from Barack Obama on Monday!

    From his own website:
    http://www.fightthesmears.com/articles/5/birthcertificate

    “When Barack Obama Jr. was born on Aug. 4,1961, in Honolulu, Kenya was a British colony, still part of the United Kingdom’s dwindling empire. As a Kenyan native, Barack Obama Sr. was a British subject whose citizenship status was governed by The British Nationality Act of 1948. That same act governed the status of Obama Sr.’s children.

    Since Sen. Obama has neither renounced his U.S. citizenship nor sworn an oath of allegiance to Kenya, his Kenyan citizenship automatically expired on Aug. 4,1982.”

  37. These guys have to be kidding right? I mean could anyone be more callous than these two? It’s disgusting how they flaunt their wealth and lack of compassion while most of America struggles. Someone should remind them what happened to the rich during the French revolution.
    Stop writing about them and they will slowly fade away.

  38. paros

    PATHETIC!
    PATHETIC!
    PATHETIC!
    PATHETIC!
    PATHETIC!
    PATHETIC!
    PATHETIC!
    PATHETIC!
    PATHETIC!
    PATHETIC!
    PATHETIC!

  39. I’m pretty sure that by Twit and Twat wearing those shirts, and carrying those items is a sure sign of the apocalypse. Everyone head to your underground bunkers, and prepare to feast on canned items and water. Just looking at them burns my retinas. If Heidi goes on tour with Sarah and Elisabeth Hasselbeck, GOOD GOD! SAVE US ALL!

  40. Nella

    I don’t care how many people sent emails about this. We said we don’t want to hear shit about them, so don’t fucking post this shit about this emotionally repressed jackass and an idiotic blonde. Ever.

  41. THE FIZ

    The only thing that can piss me off more than these two alone, is the WASTE OF THE FUCKING BEER! Specer isn’t even drinking the beer! He’s kissing it. fucking idiot.

  42. mamadough

    superfish, there is a special place for you in hell. next to the puppykickers and child molesters.

  43. lala

    where are the terrorists when you need them?

  44. Teflon Bill

    Most of you liberal dumb@sses are just jealous that he gets to bang her, and you all can just go online and look at pictures and feel a tingle up your leg . . . If they truly support McCain + Palin, then God bless them. If they don’t, so what.
    Get a life, wake up, smell the beer and gunpowder!

    McCain Palin ’08.

  45. zizzy

    What I want to know is: Where are all those republicans who kiss Palin’s ass and say that “celebrities need to keep their mouth shut when it comes to politics”? So Matt Damon and Sarah Silverman who are American citizens and have just as much a right to voice their opinion as anyone and are obviously more in tuned to the world than those still supporting Bush and his lackeys, those kind of people should shut up but Heidi and Spencer, obviously the nicest, most god fearing people who sell themselves to the media are american heros?

    I don’t get it. Explain this logic to me.

  46. zizzy

    What I want to know is: Where are all those republicans who kiss Palin’s ass and say that “celebrities need to keep their mouth shut when it comes to politics”? So Matt Damon and Sarah Silverman who are American citizens and have just as much a right to voice their opinion as anyone and are obviously more in tuned to the world than those still supporting Bush and his lackeys, those kind of people should shut up but Heidi and Spencer, obviously the nicest, most god fearing people who sell themselves to the media are american heros?

    I don’t get it. Explain this logic to me.

  47. ewwwwwwww

    i just vomited up my lunch.
    that is disgusting.
    and DUMMMMMMMMMB.

  48. anonymous

    i thought guns were illegal in california?

  49. Jess

    This has probably already been stated, but she obviously got another nose job. Starting to enter Michael Jackson territory.

  50. bar room hero

    douchebag, and douchbaggette.

    what a slag…

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