Heidi & Spencer, Goddammit…

October 23rd, 2008 // 189 Comments

Before everyone births a walrus, I’ve been avoiding these two like the plague. That said, I’ve been bombarded with e-mails today alerting me to Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s latest, and most shitass, photo shoot yet. In an obvious effort to get my attention, the Douche Twins posed in Sarah Palin shirts while holding a shotgun, six-pack and Harry Browne’s book “You Can Profit From a Monetary Crisis.” This, of course, comes extremely close to meeting condition #2 of my criteria for post-worthiness:

However, to show that I’m not an unreasonable man and for the sake of journalist integrity, I will make the following exceptions in allowing you on this site:
1. Heidi wears a bikini.
2. Heidi covers her topless chest in maple syrup while stumping for Sarah Palin at a Klan rally.

Granted, there’s no Aunt Jemima or Klansmen, these two asshats couldn’t be more gay for Sarah Palin if they started throwing Bibles at poor people. Anyway, to all my conservative readers, feel free to thank Heidi & Spencer for officially costing you the election. In fact, you can pinpoint the exact moment John McCain loses in these pictures: Right when someone forgot to load the gun. Smooth.

superficial

  1. snore....snore.....snore

    holy #33, go on and on much?? Jesus, I forgot what the hell I was reading!
    ….oh yeah…Heidi & Spencer, who so obviously stage every public outing they have. Why do we even care anymore? Because she is pretty decent to look at when she looks all slutty. That’s it! Otherwise who cares?

  2. H & S ALL THE WAY!!

    You guys are all crazy! Heidi and Spencer are the bomb!!!
    You are all so friggin jealous it’s pathetic! She is so pretty and he is so friggin cute and sexy, they would be the best couple to have a threesome with!!

  3. James

    hmph. color me disappointed.
    and COME ON! He’s walking around with an open container, a dangerous weapon(his face), and a gun! he has to be breaking a law SOMEWHERE! FUCK!
    Jesus it’s terrifying to know either of them can walk around with a gun and not get arrested.

    Oh and as a southerner and a homo i gotta say… That’s how you hold a dick not a beer. fag.

  4. McPalin

    #44 Fuck off douchenozzle. The irony of your post is that Heidi and Spencer haven’t had an idea or logical thought in those hollow heads of their EVER!! ANd yet you criticize “liberals” for being unable to think.

    And even more ironic is that Sarah Palin is a dumb cunt who openly embraces stupidity and anti-intellectualism.

  5. baaahaaaaa

    First of all, wtf dude…Superficial promised no more pictures of these fucks.

    Second of all…”H & S ALL THE WAY!!”…you’re hilarious…especially because you’re most likely Heidi trying to pretend like you have fans. Pathetic, yet quite comical. So, thanks? Bahahaha.

  6. Ari

    I’m so disappointed in you. I have no more words.

  7. H & S ALL THE WAY!!

    #55…what makes you think I’m not Spencer?

  8. LMFAO

    alright I wouldn’t usually say anything but Spencer is the fucking man in this one. He has a 6 rack, a gun, a gorgeous blond, all on his side. All while pretending to read that book. good for him. only down side here is the palin shirts truely shoes their true colors has complete retards.

  9. Oh my good God Damn. I’m almost speechless. All I got to say is I wish that gun was mine and I actually purchased that black ski mask I’ve been eyeing at Spotrsman’s Wearhouse.

  10. guyth

    She is so beautiful and charming. She is my favorite. Just saw her on the fitness & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^FitnessKiss. C O M^^ ^^^^last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that

    site.

  11. Myrna Flintrock

    Could these two get any whiter? What exactly do they love so much about the GOP “platter of shit with bits of broken glass” Republican nominee and his VP?

  12. ols

    Anyone else see Elmer Fudd? Wowza.

  13. Florin

    Hi,

    Is that God Guns Glory stuff for real? Are there people in the US going for that? I guess this November 4th will see if “ya’ll are bunch of inbred rednecks” going for McCain / Palin or there’s still hope for you and you’ll vote for Obama. I’m afraid you’ll go for the first two, but please, for the sake of the planet, prove me wrong!

    You should export Spencer and his bitch to Irak!

  14. Sarah

    well that’s silly…everyone knows Heidi doesn’t know how to read.

  15. Sarah

    well that’s silly…everyone knows Heidi doesn’t know how to read.

  16. steven

    oh wow , so handsome and gorgeous, nice pic. i believe the fans of them @ sportinglove.co om will like the pic…..

  17. JollyJumJuck

    It looks like they’re goosestepping in the first picture. Which I imagine would go very well with their personalities and beliefs.

  18. lib hunter

    Cool, maybe their just going to hunt down the superficial writer!!! It certainly would be a plus to get rid of em. And don’t have a orgasm over these two, they are just trying to compensate for the liberal idiots in Congress and this great nation of ours. Spence throw a couple shells for me!!!!!

  19. Davis

    christ, those two are the scum of the earth.

    WHY ARE THEY FAMOUS?

    pretty please go back to avoiding them like the plague?

    OBAMA. w00t. :D

  20. I don’t get why we have to be subjected to the cheesy staged photo-ops that these two continue to torture us with. All Celeb bloggers need to form a pact to not post anything about these two for six months. Since I have a brain, I have never been able to watch “The Hills” , so if not for these blogger sites, I’d have no idea who the hell Heidi and Spencer were and I was far better off in my state of ignorant bliss. These two actually give Paris credibility as a celebrity (who started the whole being famous for being famous phenomenon).

  21. LMAO , ROFL , LOL and the list goes on and on ….

    XOXO !!

  22. wondering: THIS IS REALLY AMERICA, folks?

  23. Cam R

    WHY ARE THESE TWO STILL ALIVE?!! I’ve never harbored such animosity for ppl I’ve never met!! And they’re walking around with a gun??!!?! The only time those two should be around a gun is when it’s being pointed at them by a sex-starved, 300 pound man named Dirk, who’s making one watch, while the other gets raped….And I DON’T mean Heidi!!

  24. the mysterious traveler

    If you look closely at her skin you can see she has some creeping crud outbreaks just about everywhere in the last several of their ridiculous attention whoring. This site and TMZ are the only places I’ve ever seen them.

    They are truly pathetic, desperate, delusional and at least mildly retarded. Firearms are a big responsibility to own and use properly. Neither Spencer the weakling fairy douche or Heidi the gaping gaw creeping crud artificial boob brain dead bimbo.

  25. I would like to see Heidi holding the shotgun while wearing a very small camo bikini. That would be a sexy photo shoot!!!!
    http://frigginrandom.com

  26. AMG

    @ #44 – “TruthDoctor”

    Are you fucking serious? Do you have any clue who these two asshats even are… I’m guessing you don’t if you honestly believe that:

    A.) These two even know who Sarah Palin is, let alone support her, let alone are even registered to vote, let alone even know what voting is outside of American Idol, and

    B.) That anyone on here would be making such comments about them because they’re “pathetic, left-wing” people.

    You’re as big of a pathetic douche bag as these two scum-suckers are… Why don’t you do everyone a favor and simply go over to FoxNews.com and jack-off to some purdy-pics of that retard Palin, instead of wasting everyone’s time with your innane, pointless right-wing propaganda.

  27. obannion

    hey obama’s people paid good money for this photo op, and spencer and heidi are just doing their part to help the messiah save us all from everlasting hellfire

  28. lazy troll

    first

  29. A&3

    # 70. Me too. Superfish was the one who introduced me to these twats.
    # 73. LOL.

  30. ben

    i enjoy your site for the clever writing and the breasts. you have now however, backed out on actually having a small sence of conviction at all. fuck you, ill never read your site again.

  31. Madonna

    I’m voting for McCain

  32. james hg

    Okay, this is so fucking over the top that I’m starting to think they’re intentionally being shitheads just to fuck with people, that maybe someone’s paying them to mock the rest of the nation. Seriously, is this all one massive and intentional parody? Because this is just looking way too fucking absurd now. There’s no way they’re honestly trying to fool people here, they HAVE to know how fucking nuts this all looks. So if there’s some evil fucking billionaire out there, preying on our stupidity, gullibility, and quick tempers, paying to destroy the world with irony, then I have to say, y’know, props, man. Props.

  33. Madonna

    I’m voting for McCain

  34. brittani

    i thought there weren’t going to BE anymore retarded posed ‘candid’ photos/articles on these two.. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.

  35. Phil Ashio

    @ 83

    That’s just because you two rode the same dinosaur to school together.

  36. james hg

    To clarify: I meant, as opposed to being real shitheads acting like fake shitheads solely for money.

  37. Tim White

    Slow death is too good for these fuck-tards. I think you voided your principals by posting this shit. NOBODY CARES HOW STUPID AND VAPID THEY ARE. Clearly, these are not the droids we’re looking for…please move along.

  38. yuristache

    Someone let me know when she actually does the maple syrup/topless photo shoot.

  39. Yes, but can you profit from a stupidity crisis?

  40. Toooood

    im sure palin is beating her cock to this right now

  41. just some hick

    U fuckin liar. Who posts these asswipes? No one, BUT YOU. These are all perfectly staged, and you give them publicity. Well done, are you proud?

    I want to read about some big star embarrassing them self, rather than a NOBODY making a fools of themselves. Anybody can be a nobody, but should we care? Apparently TSF cares. You’re as desperate as these two fools.

  42. Fuck you, Superfish.

  43. Bunnie

    You’re a fucking liar Superfish. I never heard of these vapid pieces of shit before I read your site, and I don’t hear of them anywhere else.

    STOP POSTING ABOUT THEM!! Let them fade into obscurity already!

  44. montag_pratt_douchebags

    they and palin are the embarrassment to the americans… human race, even!

  45. schweiz

    did anyone else notice that the male douche seems to have a swiss flag on his shirt, along with the stars n stripes? if obama is a terrorist, then palin must be dull, clean, racist and neutral.

  46. awesome

    Fucking Love It!!! I like Heidi and Spencer more for this!! Keep it up guys!! MCCAIN PALIN ’08!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  47. Katy

    Can we talk about when Heidi is holding the book in the close up picture of her chest/shirt the book is upside down!!!! What a fucking dumb bitch!!!!!!!!

  48. bort

    why the fuck write about these guys.. you superficial writers much secretly love these two douche bags. fuck off from Australia!

  49. shirleytemple

    i hate to be one to “birth a walrus,” but superfish you now offically suck major hillbilly ass.

  50. fuck

    Unless these 2 die, get seriously injured or disfigured. Getting punched in the face, kicked in the crotch, or something else incredibly demeaning to them, please don’t post about them anymore. Ever.

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