Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt will probably have their own show on MTV. I now feel really bad about posting pictures of them. In fact, I’m just compounding that right now with this post. So stupid! But then I heard Spencer’s pitch for the show and immediately felt like a goddamn neuroscientist. Anyone got a human brain I can borrow for a sec? Page Six reports:
“Spencer was saying, ‘I want the world to see the real Heidi and Spencer,’ and was emphasizing that the show would be just about them. No Lauren Conrad,” we’re told.
According to our source, Pratt was “suggesting the show go through the whole lead-up to the wedding . . . finding a wedding planner, hunting for a dress designer, and all the drama that would be part of their wedding plans.”
While, unfortunately, it doesn’t look like these two are going away anytime soon, (Trust me, I’ve been crossing my fingers since November that a spy satellite would fall in Heidi’s mouth.) I do, however, have some awesome news. We have heard your cries and are doing our best to battle the dreaded Comment Spammers. Unfortunately, they are some slippery fuckers. So bear with us and hopefully soon you won’t have to find the love true sexy of millionaires many happy at douchesingles.com.
debagger | April 18, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Assbags.
llllllllll | April 18, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Sluts
Your mama | April 18, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Marry Me Mr. Fish
miggs | April 18, 2008 at 1:10 pm
“Unfortunately, they are some slippery fuckers.”
Connect to the story, actually – that’s a good description of the army of lubed penises that Spencer entertains after the cameras are turned off and he can go home. It’s how he gets through the day with Ms. Oral Gaper.
Josh | April 18, 2008 at 1:10 pm
This shit is the best thing to happen for Socialism in a LONG time.
Hard to not justify killing off the rich with these people on tv.
LovetheFish | April 18, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Love u Fish! Let’s get these damn spammers off of here so we can get back to making fun of those who truly deserve it. You heard me travolta.
Mo | April 18, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Douche Singles is LIEKZOMG THE BEST PLACE- oh, wait. AHAHAHAHA. That’s like saying this show is going to be the best thing ever.
pucky | April 18, 2008 at 1:15 pm
You fucking slay me with your editorial comments!
Karen Walker | April 18, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I guess now we’ll have to start an email campaign to rehire the original (FUNNY) writer…
Auntie Kryst | April 18, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Oh fuck, there goes one! Get the gun!! C’mere Charlie.
bitter chicks do it all night long | April 18, 2008 at 1:23 pm
10. Isn’t it hard to answer those pesky american credit card questions, spam sites such as this, sew zippers onto our jeans, and pour lead paint onto childrens toys all at the same time? Foreign fuck.
jimmyjimmy | April 18, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Is it me, or does he have an unusually large head?
I Doggied Heidi | April 18, 2008 at 1:28 pm
That fucking mouth of hers is always open, like a damn baby bird waiting for a worm.
Except I think she’s waiting for a cock to be stuffed into it.
Must be the plastic tits, collagen injections and lipo.
Steph | April 18, 2008 at 1:28 pm
I am so sick of hearing about these 2 on this site!
Fozzy Bear | April 18, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Who the fuck is Heidi Montag?
Unruuu | April 18, 2008 at 1:29 pm
OMG! She is my favorite! Seems she has a hot profile on ” cel e b b ru m o r d a t e s . c om” and is now dating a young trillionaire on that site now. it is rumored that she found true love on that site. Is that true?
Barack | April 18, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Fish, if you’re reading these comments, a suggestion: read the comments for the last Heidi and Spencer story, then make sure you don’t give the job of banning the spammers to a black guy. He’ll bang on the keyboard randomly, give up, look for pictures of Kim K’s ass, beat off, then demand a paid vacation. If you don’t give it to him he’ll sue you for discrimination. If I were you, I’d give the assignment to a “good” brown (Indian-dot, not Indian-feathers; the tech-help or cardiologist kind of brown, not the day laborer kind). Good brown will find and kill bad yellow. Always respect human nature.
Lullaby | April 18, 2008 at 1:37 pm
LMAO at #14
BunnyButt | April 18, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Ever notice how their clothes always look straight off the rack, like they’ve never been washed or worn? Guys, we might hate you SLIGHTLY less if you if you didn’t always look so mannequin-squeaky-clean. Nope, nope, I take that back. You can’t do anything to makes us hate you less.
pat | April 18, 2008 at 1:40 pm
“…finding a wedding planner, hunting for a dress designer, and all the drama that would be part of their wedding plans.”
That would be awesome!!! More exciting than any TV show ever made!
In fact, maybe that should be a feature film instead. Or a trilogy of films, like Star Wars. Episode 1 “Finding a Wedding Planner”, May 2009.
Episode 2 “Hunting for a Dress Designer” , May 2010
Anonymous | April 18, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Thank God Almighty that you are finally trying to do something about the dating site spamming moron! You just made my morning. Thanks.
Sara | April 18, 2008 at 1:46 pm
The spammers just multiplied!!!!!
Anonymous | April 18, 2008 at 1:47 pm
The dating site spammer must have read your comments……he’s furiously posting as fast as he can……hey Du Qiang, ecomfun@aol.com, 800 West El Camino Real #180, Mountain View, California 94040 United States (650)906-0405, better live it up while you can, you piece of shit.
Castillian | April 18, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Ladies and gents, the Montag Maw:
http://i31.tinypic.com/fjjmo4.jpg
ManHeHasABigNoggin' | April 18, 2008 at 1:54 pm
That dude’s head is enormous!!!
slkdfj | April 18, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Did anyone ever go to the spammer’s office and see if there really is somewhere there? Any udpate on this?
gotmilk? | April 18, 2008 at 1:56 pm
so i guess they’re engaged again? did he actually buy her a ring this time & not at Claires?
Lindsay | April 18, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Yeah because that worked so well for Jessica Simpson.
Grunion | April 18, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Why is he carrying around a winters worth of nuts in his cheeks still? Dude it’s spring, let it go already..
veggi | April 18, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I like the dating site spammers. If they get banned, I might have to troll some of their comments. It’ll be like they never left.
FIRST | April 18, 2008 at 2:05 pm
FIRST
hatedit | April 18, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Random, but I get really thrown off every time I see this dude wearing Jordan’s on his feet. Everything from ankle up (even his face) is Grade A 100% All-American whitey, and then he has on some J’s. confusing.
Spazz | April 18, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I would pay $1m cash for an unstaged, candid picture of these douches.
Sid | April 18, 2008 at 2:09 pm
It’s just like the way he’s Grade A 100% All-American gay, but he has on a big mouthed bass fake boobies beard.
Angus | April 18, 2008 at 2:10 pm
He’s carrying around a winter’s worth of nut-bustings in his cheeks.
WTF_101 | April 18, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Horrray! We get to find out how many Hiediots! there are out there. It will be the douchiest douche show on TV. Reality (TV) is for those without imagination. I guess if you have to pay the Pops to follow you and take fake JCrew photo ops everywhere you go it’s perfect for you. Douche.
WTF_101 | April 18, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Horrray! We get to find out how many Hiediots! there are out there. It will be the douchiest douche show on TV. Reality (TV) is for those without imagination. I guess if you have to pay the Pops to follow you and take fake JCrew photo ops everywhere you go it’s perfect for you. Douche.
Big Gay Al | April 18, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I’m sorry but I feel bad for the guy. She’s completely into this and and seems to think it’s somehow a real thing, but he always looks like he’s about to wet his pants and bust out crying at the same time. You just know he’s got some huge black guy back home, pounding his ass every night and saying “you’re not gonna go back to pretending with that plastic cunt, are you?” The money must be good. His mind and his bank account say “yes” but his ass says “OUCH! FUCK! SLOW DOWN! NOT SO FUCKING DEEP!” (it can’t say “no” – it just can’t…).
mildly concerned | April 18, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Heidi Montag’s mouth is always open to distract everyone from the sad fact that her feet have disapppeared.
combustion8 | April 18, 2008 at 2:18 pm
NO
ONE
CARES
ABOUT
THESE
ASSHOLES
THE
END.
Alex | April 18, 2008 at 2:18 pm
#33
Gotta video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpYYblAJOq8
RENEE | April 18, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Horse face Heidi can get all the plastic surgery she wants, but she still won’t be able to get rid of the horse face…neeeeeyy! Go suck on some sugar cubes, you beeatch. Anyways, lets stop posting on these idiots so that they go away faster. What time is it on the fame clock anyways; 10 minutes? They can’t have too much time left. This will be the last time I post on them.
Lauren Conrad's Beef Curtains | April 18, 2008 at 2:25 pm
I resent how they outed me to the rest of the world. Damn them and their spawn.
claire | April 18, 2008 at 2:26 pm
why is her mouth always open?
NY Ted | April 18, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Ahhh…when you said new show…I was expecting Heidi to make the leap to where she belongs….XXX…AS IN WATCH HEIDI TAKE THE 3 BIG BLACK COCKS ALL AT ONCE!
Now I would pay for that…!!!
Block Head | April 18, 2008 at 2:35 pm
He may very well have the largest head that I have ever seen.
Ted Mosby | April 18, 2008 at 2:37 pm
I wonder when someone will “steal their homemade sex tape” and post it on line.
FromOutOfNoWhere | April 18, 2008 at 2:47 pm
@45. I was thinking actually wishing the same thing. Except Spencer would be bounded and gagged in the corner again.
black t-shirts rule | April 18, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Kill. Me. Now. Please!
Tits McGee | April 18, 2008 at 2:47 pm
HOLY BUCKETS!!!!!!?????
Where’d her FEET GO? Damn those shoe-eating jeans!