When they’re not busy posing for horribly fake photo shoots (I call this one “America: Ain’t We Retarded?”), Heidi and Spencer love to expose their Hills co-star Lauren Conrad as just as fake as they are. This morning, the couple dropped a bomb on Tyra (video after the jump) and confirmed that Lauren did, in fact, make a sex tape. Tyra asked Spencer if he actually watched it and he said he’d rather throw up making it the first time I actually agree with the douchenozzle. I’d rather watch a video of my vacuum cleaner humping my couch. I wonder what that would look like… *hunts for camcorder*
UPDATE: Okay, is it legal to marry a household appliance? Because, guys, I think I’m in love.
rustytrawler | April 29, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Wow, are they assholes!
aja | April 29, 2008 at 12:33 pm
who the hell cares?
CrispyAssBacon | April 29, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Those pics make me so happy to be un-American. You pepole should really do something about these two, they are ruining your brand name even worse than W.
mcbeef | April 29, 2008 at 12:39 pm
what the fuck is wrong with these people and why do their faggot-y fake pictures show up on this website every other day?
eh | April 29, 2008 at 12:39 pm
fish you’re vacuum and my vacuum should hook up
no but really …mine is the hottest vacuum going around, hasa its own heppa filta
it keeps trash like Heidi and Spencer out of ur house and some how off my tv
yeah by tv is sexy too, but i better not say that in front of the computer screen
tyra is a try hard she is just as bad as the fucking stupid show these people are on
if u can call them people
i like the term land fillers
A2M | April 29, 2008 at 12:39 pm
I don’t care what their politics are, those legs look yummy. Her face is a bit Herman Munster-y though.
Kingsley Amis | April 29, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Hey, how about how retarded Tyra is?
sunshine | April 29, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Does Heidi have a problem? She has her legs crossed or squeezed together in every pic like she needs to go tinkle bad, but doesn’t want to miss being photographed.
viv | April 29, 2008 at 12:47 pm
why are these people famous again?
A2M | April 29, 2008 at 12:48 pm
She probably is crossing them to keep her loose anus shut. I know I would be in there 24/7 and then make her polish off my dirty knob frequently with her dirty whore-ish mouth.
deacon jones | April 29, 2008 at 12:48 pm
God, this guy must just hate-fuck her mouth everynight, that’s gotta be the only way to put up with her
(oomphoomphoomphoomphoomph)
jefftse | April 29, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I hate these 2 bitches!!!!! They are nobody!!! The guy works at MCD is more important than them, at least he will give me French fries!!! FUCK BOTH OF THEM!
ellybell | April 29, 2008 at 12:49 pm
notice how they refer to their life in season. “i would have married her last season”. douchebags. yet in continue to watch the interview. might as well kill myself.
who is it that his face reminds me of? it’s horrific whatever it is
Uhmm.. | April 29, 2008 at 12:50 pm
I don’t get it.. you wouldn’t want to watch Lauren Conrad, who’s pretty decent, get laid. but you’ll post pics of fire crotches..
Jimbo | April 29, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Irregardless, nice fucking legs. I’d pound her pooper until she squirted diarrhea all over the bed then passed out in it.
Auntie Kryst | April 29, 2008 at 12:51 pm
“Douchenozzle” great word!! George Parker at Adscam would be proud. As for #3 I want to say “Fuck you!”, but I can’t. You made a great point. Alvin the Chipmunk and Barbaro prancing along the Mall makes me ill. Does anyone want to bet that these dumbshits asked to climb up on Lincoln’s lap for a picture?
Felicity | April 29, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I have never once watched an episode of the Hills (despite the claims of “OMG, you’ll watch it once and totally love it!” from friends) and the only time I’ve ever really heard about Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag is on this site. I’ve never really understood exactly why everybody was so harsh on Heidi and Spencer (except about the music video, they deserved every bit of criticism they got) and even almost felt bad for everybody being so mean to them. And then I managed to catch five minutes of Tyra this morning. Oh.My.God.
Spencer went on at length about how he didn’t want to have children, and he really wanted to adopt a kid from Africa. I thought, alright, the kid might not have the smartest dad, but still it’ll be well taken care of. He then went on to explain that he wanted to name him “Dunk” because “like people in Africa are like really tall, so when he becomes a basketball player, he’ll be like the best freaking slam dunker there is”. Then we were regaled with a story about how Heidi had a dream the other night that they had “like 3 kids, and she was pregnant”. At which point my satellite gave out and I stopped watching. Coincidence? I think not, they were so stupid that my satellite couldn’t take it anymore, and stopped working.
Christy | April 29, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Jimbo, that’s just poetry, man.
ph7 | April 29, 2008 at 12:53 pm
OK, she’s an idiot, but I would love to have her naked in my bed.
nipolian | April 29, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Release the hounds George! Please release those fucking hounds.
LMAO @ douchenozzle…….perfect adjective for Spencer.
Montag-team-anal | April 29, 2008 at 12:55 pm
assholes or not, who wouldn’t want to stick it in hers?!?!
NickiChick | April 29, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Nothing like a pair of “F ME SHOES” to say “Americana.”
Warren Piece | April 29, 2008 at 12:57 pm
AIrhead? Yes.
Great cold day boob shot in #3? Hell yeah!
pinky_nip | April 29, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Wow. I’ve seen gay porn that isn’t as gay as these picturs.
Jrz | April 29, 2008 at 1:00 pm
What’s their point?
robz | April 29, 2008 at 1:02 pm
this makes me want to die
nipolian | April 29, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Here’s an idea…….lets give the two retards a couple of flags to wave…..I hear they like that. In the sixth pic Spenser isn’t holding his flag…….bet the dumb fucker set it on the ground.
Dolemite | April 29, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Who are these douche bags and why is there always a camera up their ass??? My grandaddy didn’t kill all those gooks in WWII so the flag could be some prop for these effing tools.
Lee | April 29, 2008 at 1:05 pm
I have a serious problem with Heidi’s shorts. She has a hot body, why not dress like a normal person….those are the ugliest things I think I’ve ever seen…well until I looked up at Heidi’s face.
argh | April 29, 2008 at 1:09 pm
why is he always carrying her?! every time they fake one of these stupid photo shoots there’s a picture of him carrying her stupid ass in his arms! wtf?! who the fuck seriously does that?
JohnnE | April 29, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Nothing makes me happier to be Australian than the site of this robotic pair of brainless morons.
babykeepsitreal | April 29, 2008 at 1:11 pm
is it just me or does heidi really look like a pony in the first 2 pics?
she looks like she’s trotting. look at how her legs bow.
other than that, they can both die in a fire.
woodhorse | April 29, 2008 at 1:13 pm
@27 Here’s another idea: drop 5 million copies of the photo with them waving a flag over Iraq, Ahghanistan and Iran. The war has been fading as far as real emotion and could use that “shot in the arm”.
OS | April 29, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Who are these people and why are they on tv this website and anyplace else for that matter? whats up with the stripper shoes? is she a midget…i mean little person?
veggi | April 29, 2008 at 1:15 pm
@29- agreed. Someone should have taken those 10 inch too high mom shorts and hung em on that fence… with her in them of course..
Bet Spence would cry.. HEIDI! HOW CAN I CARRY YOU!?!?!? YOUS WAY UP THAR!!
combustion8 | April 29, 2008 at 1:18 pm
wheres a sniper when you need one.
pinky_nip | April 29, 2008 at 1:19 pm
That dude makes Andy Dick look straight.
Rick | April 29, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Has anyone else noticed she crosses her legs in almost every goddamn fake picture they have?
Maybe one of her legs is freakishly longer than the other and this hides it?
Maybe she has some rank crotch stank and does that to keep it at bay?
Either way they both suck.
pinky_nip | April 29, 2008 at 1:22 pm
He farts and the room smells like a condom factory.
pinky_nip | April 29, 2008 at 1:23 pm
She’s tucking her penis up, thus the crossed legs.
pinky_nip | April 29, 2008 at 1:24 pm
He’s the only guy I know who can correctly identify 10 different types of anal lube in a blindfold test.
Dr. Otto VanDerWahl | April 29, 2008 at 1:27 pm
wow girl on girl action in front of white house. i’ve seen that before
john | April 29, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Dude – seriously – stop posting about this girl. You’re only contributing to her being famous for being famous.
Karla | April 29, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Straight jawline + fake blonde hair + fake eyelashes + hooker stilettos + slut clothes + gay boyfriend = serious tranny action
gotmilk? | April 29, 2008 at 1:37 pm
is he feeding the ducks Wonderbread in picture #6? i can’t say anything about these people that haven’t already been said.
they need to die. now.
how do they know there is a sex tape if they haven’t seen it? and why are they even discussing it with Tyra? and why does Tyra have them on the show?
mf | April 29, 2008 at 1:39 pm
ugly duck face.
dmatt | April 29, 2008 at 1:40 pm
i would rather see Heidi in a sextape. With like 5 black guys teaching her a lesson…Wow, I dont know where that came from. Im going to get help!!!
21st century digital boy | April 29, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Behold the new generation of fuckwit, preppie overlords, ye teeming American masses. They look like Ken and Barbie propaganda androids manufactured in a CIA lab.
tp | April 29, 2008 at 1:49 pm
In the last pic where he’s holding her, it looks like he’s struggling to breathe and about to drop her because she’s such a fat ass!!
mike | April 29, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Not for nothing, but I ALWAYS have my personal photographer follow me around for just such photo opportunities!