Heidi & Spencer love America and confirm Lauren Conrad made a sex tape

April 29th, 2008 // 151 Comments

When they’re not busy posing for horribly fake photo shoots (I call this one “America: Ain’t We Retarded?”), Heidi and Spencer love to expose their Hills co-star Lauren Conrad as just as fake as they are. This morning, the couple dropped a bomb on Tyra (video after the jump) and confirmed that Lauren did, in fact, make a sex tape. Tyra asked Spencer if he actually watched it and he said he’d rather throw up making it the first time I actually agree with the douchenozzle. I’d rather watch a video of my vacuum cleaner humping my couch. I wonder what that would look like… *hunts for camcorder*

UPDATE: Okay, is it legal to marry a household appliance? Because, guys, I think I’m in love.


  1. rustytrawler

    Wow, are they assholes!

  2. aja

    who the hell cares?

  3. CrispyAssBacon

    Those pics make me so happy to be un-American. You pepole should really do something about these two, they are ruining your brand name even worse than W.

  4. mcbeef

    what the fuck is wrong with these people and why do their faggot-y fake pictures show up on this website every other day?

  5. eh

    fish you’re vacuum and my vacuum should hook up

    no but really …mine is the hottest vacuum going around, hasa its own heppa filta
    it keeps trash like Heidi and Spencer out of ur house and some how off my tv

    yeah by tv is sexy too, but i better not say that in front of the computer screen

    tyra is a try hard she is just as bad as the fucking stupid show these people are on

    if u can call them people

    i like the term land fillers

  6. A2M

    I don’t care what their politics are, those legs look yummy. Her face is a bit Herman Munster-y though.

  7. Kingsley Amis

    Hey, how about how retarded Tyra is?

  8. sunshine

    Does Heidi have a problem? She has her legs crossed or squeezed together in every pic like she needs to go tinkle bad, but doesn’t want to miss being photographed.

  9. viv

    why are these people famous again?

  10. A2M

    She probably is crossing them to keep her loose anus shut. I know I would be in there 24/7 and then make her polish off my dirty knob frequently with her dirty whore-ish mouth.

  11. deacon jones

    God, this guy must just hate-fuck her mouth everynight, that’s gotta be the only way to put up with her

  12. jefftse

    I hate these 2 bitches!!!!! They are nobody!!! The guy works at MCD is more important than them, at least he will give me French fries!!! FUCK BOTH OF THEM!

  13. ellybell

    notice how they refer to their life in season. “i would have married her last season”. douchebags. yet in continue to watch the interview. might as well kill myself.
    who is it that his face reminds me of? it’s horrific whatever it is

  14. Uhmm..

    I don’t get it.. you wouldn’t want to watch Lauren Conrad, who’s pretty decent, get laid. but you’ll post pics of fire crotches..

  15. Irregardless, nice fucking legs. I’d pound her pooper until she squirted diarrhea all over the bed then passed out in it.

  16. Auntie Kryst

    “Douchenozzle” great word!! George Parker at Adscam would be proud. As for #3 I want to say “Fuck you!”, but I can’t. You made a great point. Alvin the Chipmunk and Barbaro prancing along the Mall makes me ill. Does anyone want to bet that these dumbshits asked to climb up on Lincoln’s lap for a picture?

  17. Felicity

    I have never once watched an episode of the Hills (despite the claims of “OMG, you’ll watch it once and totally love it!” from friends) and the only time I’ve ever really heard about Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag is on this site. I’ve never really understood exactly why everybody was so harsh on Heidi and Spencer (except about the music video, they deserved every bit of criticism they got) and even almost felt bad for everybody being so mean to them. And then I managed to catch five minutes of Tyra this morning. Oh.My.God.

    Spencer went on at length about how he didn’t want to have children, and he really wanted to adopt a kid from Africa. I thought, alright, the kid might not have the smartest dad, but still it’ll be well taken care of. He then went on to explain that he wanted to name him “Dunk” because “like people in Africa are like really tall, so when he becomes a basketball player, he’ll be like the best freaking slam dunker there is”. Then we were regaled with a story about how Heidi had a dream the other night that they had “like 3 kids, and she was pregnant”. At which point my satellite gave out and I stopped watching. Coincidence? I think not, they were so stupid that my satellite couldn’t take it anymore, and stopped working.

  18. Christy

    Jimbo, that’s just poetry, man.

  19. ph7

    OK, she’s an idiot, but I would love to have her naked in my bed.

  20. nipolian

    Release the hounds George! Please release those fucking hounds.

    LMAO @ douchenozzle…….perfect adjective for Spencer.

  21. Montag-team-anal

    assholes or not, who wouldn’t want to stick it in hers?!?!

  22. NickiChick

    Nothing like a pair of “F ME SHOES” to say “Americana.”

  23. Warren Piece

    AIrhead? Yes.
    Great cold day boob shot in #3? Hell yeah!

  24. pinky_nip

    Wow. I’ve seen gay porn that isn’t as gay as these picturs.

  25. Jrz

    What’s their point?

  26. robz

    this makes me want to die

  27. nipolian

    Here’s an idea…….lets give the two retards a couple of flags to wave…..I hear they like that. In the sixth pic Spenser isn’t holding his flag…….bet the dumb fucker set it on the ground.

  28. Dolemite

    Who are these douche bags and why is there always a camera up their ass??? My grandaddy didn’t kill all those gooks in WWII so the flag could be some prop for these effing tools.

  29. Lee

    I have a serious problem with Heidi’s shorts. She has a hot body, why not dress like a normal person….those are the ugliest things I think I’ve ever seen…well until I looked up at Heidi’s face.

  30. argh

    why is he always carrying her?! every time they fake one of these stupid photo shoots there’s a picture of him carrying her stupid ass in his arms! wtf?! who the fuck seriously does that?

  31. JohnnE

    Nothing makes me happier to be Australian than the site of this robotic pair of brainless morons.

  32. babykeepsitreal

    is it just me or does heidi really look like a pony in the first 2 pics?
    she looks like she’s trotting. look at how her legs bow.
    other than that, they can both die in a fire.

  33. woodhorse

    @27 Here’s another idea: drop 5 million copies of the photo with them waving a flag over Iraq, Ahghanistan and Iran. The war has been fading as far as real emotion and could use that “shot in the arm”.

  34. OS

    Who are these people and why are they on tv this website and anyplace else for that matter? whats up with the stripper shoes? is she a midget…i mean little person?

  35. veggi

    @29- agreed. Someone should have taken those 10 inch too high mom shorts and hung em on that fence… with her in them of course..

    Bet Spence would cry.. HEIDI! HOW CAN I CARRY YOU!?!?!? YOUS WAY UP THAR!!

  36. combustion8

    wheres a sniper when you need one.

  37. pinky_nip

    That dude makes Andy Dick look straight.

  38. Rick

    Has anyone else noticed she crosses her legs in almost every goddamn fake picture they have?

    Maybe one of her legs is freakishly longer than the other and this hides it?

    Maybe she has some rank crotch stank and does that to keep it at bay?

    Either way they both suck.

  39. pinky_nip

    He farts and the room smells like a condom factory.

  40. pinky_nip

    She’s tucking her penis up, thus the crossed legs.

  41. pinky_nip

    He’s the only guy I know who can correctly identify 10 different types of anal lube in a blindfold test.

  42. wow girl on girl action in front of white house. i’ve seen that before

  43. john

    Dude – seriously – stop posting about this girl. You’re only contributing to her being famous for being famous.

  44. Karla

    Straight jawline + fake blonde hair + fake eyelashes + hooker stilettos + slut clothes + gay boyfriend = serious tranny action

  45. gotmilk?

    is he feeding the ducks Wonderbread in picture #6? i can’t say anything about these people that haven’t already been said.

    they need to die. now.

    how do they know there is a sex tape if they haven’t seen it? and why are they even discussing it with Tyra? and why does Tyra have them on the show?

  46. mf

    ugly duck face.

  47. dmatt

    i would rather see Heidi in a sextape. With like 5 black guys teaching her a lesson…Wow, I dont know where that came from. Im going to get help!!!

  48. 21st century digital boy

    Behold the new generation of fuckwit, preppie overlords, ye teeming American masses. They look like Ken and Barbie propaganda androids manufactured in a CIA lab.

  49. tp

    In the last pic where he’s holding her, it looks like he’s struggling to breathe and about to drop her because she’s such a fat ass!!

  50. mike

    Not for nothing, but I ALWAYS have my personal photographer follow me around for just such photo opportunities!

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