Heidi & Spencer committed to their fake marriage

March 30th, 2010 // 79 Comments

Heidi Montag is denying rumors she’s divorcing Spencer Pratt which must’ve been difficult considering they started them. Like drowning your own baby in the tub. People reports:

“I’m not moving out,” Montag, 23, says. “I love Spencer with all my heart.” Adds Pratt, 26: “I love my wife more now than I ever thought I could.”
The end of The Hills might help in that regard. “I’m so excited The Hills are finally over so I won’t be edited by anyone,” Montag says. “This will be the first time people can truly see us for who we are.”
It’s finally time to move on, says Montag. “The Hills has told the story of struggle and of finding myself in L.A., so it’s time for me to hang up all the drama like fighting and divorce talk with Spencer and become the mogul I am.”

You almost have to respect Heidi and Spencer for recognizing everyone assumed The Hills finale meant the end of their sham marriage and playing the divorce card for press. Don’t get me wrong, as soon as the show’s over, Spencer has to return Heidi to Mattel per the term of their lease, but you almost want to believe these two can make it. But only because watching a closeted gay man get repeatedly hit in the face with ginormous tits is hilarious. “Those aren’t penises!”

Thanks to Chase, the only lawyer I want representing me when they find those hookers.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. saywha?

    first…& heidi is nice…glad she’s getting a brain and ditching the douche.

  2. Sport

    become the mogul I am?
    Wow – plastic AND stupid with delusions of grandeur.

  3. saywha?

    bet you spencer would’ve liked heidi more if she had gotten a d*ck for him to suck on & put in his (__|__) although not always in that order. i know heidi is going to look like something out of a tim burton nightmare in a few years, but she’s rockin’ it right now, so way to make the most out of your 15 minutes.

  4. mike

    i wouldnt leave heidi if i hade a choice. I even like a cups not dd cups. She is just hot

  5. David

    She looks like a tranny…

    Her eyes look dead, like she has been through alot of mind control; possibly replaced. I would say that Spencer is her handler, be he seems too stupid…

  6. caroline

    …. did spencer get work done too?

  7. Mike Nike

    My anus has more talent than this whore!!!!

  8. poopsmith

    oh my god they are the grosest fucking couple. how can she be so narcisistic and marry that retard ugly looking motherfucker?! i wish they did h so they would just die already, or at least get out of our lives

  9. pimp

    she is a worthless whore…bit i’d still like eat her bleached asshole and nut on her face…

  10. wendy

    “but you almost want to believe these two can make it. But ” NO! you do, not me, or this site would stop posting about them, just let them go. LOLZ!!!

  11. Attention Whore

    I’ve flushed more intelligent things down my toilet

  12. rumble grumble gurgle roar

    is it just me or does she have all the features of a top-notch porn star? dead eyes…big chest….killer body…long blonde hair…

  13. PunkA

    I bet she gives a great fitty tuck. Would love to blow some huge ass load of her face.

  14. PunkA

    I bet she gives a great fitty tuck. Would love to blow some huge ass load on her face.

  15. Double-J

    Donna Martin graduates!

  16. @13 I would think those bolt-ons wouldn’t smash together enough to accommodate your penis tick.

    http://teaterytripe.blogspot.com/

  17. TekMoney

    The Superficial’s Daily Tranny Post #2

    A tranny and a douche… a match made in hell. Oh, and she must REALLY be paying you quite nicely for the press you give her. At least Kim K has one of the most viewed reality shows on TV (for better or worse) and she’s got a shitload of endorsements. But this skank? Nothing. Every single thing she tries to do ends up as an EPIC FAIL.

  18. I am now 100% sure that this Barbie doll will do porn of some kind in the future.

  19. dontlooknow

    These are two of the ugliest young people I’ve seen on this site, and I’m sick of seeing them and their fake shows, fake bodies, fake “talent”…let’s have a moratorium on postings about them, ok?

  20. shokroklove

    her tits are too big now :/ blech.

  21. Dusty

    Pretty sure all the guys who want to have sex with her are gay… she looks like a tranny with all that fake.

  22. Randal

    It’s great news to learn you’ve finally broken the chains that have bound you to The Hills. I’m not saying it was a bad show because you made it what it became but rather, now you’ll both be able to aim a lot higher in your growing careers.

    All the best to you both and please keep us updated. Don’t forget us @ The FISH!

    Randal

  23. Why keep him? She has some time left because there are still guys that want to see her naked. But him? Who cares… Divorced by the end of the year.

  24. Ego

    Great no more Hills, Heidi can not move on to her career in Porn, and the fuzzy little toilet brush can go off and be the hardcore “gangsta” rapper the gay community never wanted.

  25. FATTY'NYJETSFAN

    I want to SUCK! on her toes!…..and CREAM her face with my LOAD!!!

  26. justifiable

    So all this time their massive supercolossal douchebaggery has been EDITED from an even worse version? WTF, who knew? On the other hand, now that constraint is lifted and they’re free to go the limit, they’re either be blasted to hell by a well-placed cosmic lightening strike or finally shotgunned by some hero with a low tolerance for asshattery and ambulatory plastic bits and pieces. Either one works for me.

  27. lol

    spencer looks like a serial killer

  28. Alissa

    A beard-merkin arrangement if ever there was one.

  29. NoCamelToeHere

    Has Harold, ooops, I mean Heidi had his dick removed yet or is he still a pre op tranny?

  30. Vicki

    Get rid of him lady. I mean look at him, he looks like a foolish 2 year old.

  31. Get rid of him lady. I mean look at him, he looks like a foolish 2 year old.

  32. GQ Guy

    Heidi is Great looking! Why the hate for a woman trying to make a place for herself?

  33. whoah

    Her body has been perfectly shaped so if she wants a guy looking for the perfect object, she’ll find him. (She is wearing Tori Spelling’s face though.)

    But guys who seek out and nail perfect objects don’t see them as anything more than an object–and what fun is that? For any woman who has had men falling all over her because of looks, you know what I’m talking about.

    Spencer is the same way, perfectly honed good looks (if you find that sexy) but they both have forced smiles and expressions. Trapped personalities. Pretty, they look abnormally normal. Give me interesting, funny and smart over a perfect ass any day of the week. Self acceptance is a huge aphrodisiac.

  34. ZoomZoomZoom

    Enough plastic there to build a kit car.

  35. Cam R

    If I went through all that trouble to make MY body look perfect, Hell’s no would I be wasting it on this borderline sociopath! Don’t know why so many think that butt loads of plastic surgery was the sign she has low self-esteem. She’s been fucking Spencer for 3 years!!! *shudders* She should be decontaminated and placed on suicide watch!!

  36. JesseJimmy

    @36

    I love the subtle way to telegraph to everyone that you are gorgeous, and have guys falling all over you for your great looks, but what you really want is a sensitive intelligent guy. You are so special to want a self-aware guy instead of a “perfect ass”

    Bravo to you!

  37. thebitchisback

    BARF. Now Heidi can begin her promising career as a Real Doll…

  38. Landon "Reaper" Armstrong

    I agree with #35. Despite her plastic surgery she looks pretty damn good. Besides, pretty and dumb can be a real adventure.

    Pratt, on the other hand, has a face like road kill. Ugliest mother fucker I’ve seen in a while. She needs to dump him and come suck my dick.

  39. shokroklove

    @ 41
    shes not sucking on anyones contaminated cock unless you promise to fund her fourth chin job.

  40. Jestersdead

    Her surgery must finally be settling down or whatever, I think she looks really good in these pics, her face looks more normal, tits awesome, legs all the way. She’s gotta lose the douchenozzle tho.

  41. alphabet

    she should really do porn.

  42. lol

    wtf are you guys talking about?
    she looks creepy… he looks creepy…
    they look like they’re insane or something… strung out…

    @36 and 39:

    36, I thought you just sounded sad and probably ugly… you do know that there are people out there who are pretty AND have a good personality right? It’s almost as if you assume that if someone is good looking they are somehow less in some other aspect… pathetic!

    39… you too!

  43. WHO CARES..everyone in that area is affected by the fires, and some people have lost their homes, and all people and ryan seacrest can report is that some D-list 3rd rate reality stars put out a fire with a garden hose? give me a break.!

  44. dissernin

    kinda funny comparing this bimbo to cher …
    cher is a senior AND talented ..
    looks a zillion times better too ..
    the comparison is to joan rivers who she looks exactly like !
    speidi was never married..
    they had a ‘ceremony’ which is not legally binding so puh-leeeeeze ‘nuf eready with the divorce schhlock ….

  45. dissernin

    kinda funny comparing this bimbo to cher …
    cher is a senior AND talented ..
    looks a zillion times better too ..
    the comparison is to joan rivers who she looks exactly like !
    speidi was never married..
    they had a ‘ceremony’ which is not legally binding so puh-leeeeeze ‘nuf eready with the divorce schhlock ….

  46. firkind

    Why would you almost want them to make it? Why would you give them any thought at all? Nobody….NOBODY cares about these two idiots.

  47. firkind

    Why would you almost want them to make it? Why would you give them any thought at all? Nobody….NOBODY cares about these two idiots.

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