Heidi & Spencer: America’s Punching Bag

April 24th, 2009 // 56 Comments

- Heidi and Spencer shill themselves out in front of a green screen. Internet exploitation occurs. [Videogum]

- Robert Pattinson’s early made-for-TV movie days. Now I see how he was so prepared for Twilight. ZING! — I’ll be avoiding the Young Adult section of Borders from here on out. [ICYDK]

- Bridget Marquardt doesn’t like Hawaiian food. Old man balls, yes. Hawaiian food, no way. Makes sense. [Jezebel]

- Michael Phelps is NOT dating Miss California Carrie Prejean. But is willing to change that stance if she’ll agree Jesus would want her to have sex with him so he never smokes marijuana again. [Best Week Ever]

- Michael Jackson involved in a hit-and-run with an ambulance. But the important thing is, no one’s kids were touched. High five! [Allie is Wired]

- Rihanna starts new career as a speedboat driver/potential pirate. They’re so in right now. [PopSugar]

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. first

    first??

  2. sirrix

    Hey! Thanks for breaking the no Heidi/Spencer promise *once again!* Fag.

  3. Randal

    These pictures certainly speak volumes on how happy Heidi and Spencer are, just being young and having fun. Heidi, as always, creates beauty with her amazing smile while Spencer has the air of a gentleman about him.

    Looking forward to seeing the final product of the virtual shoot.

    Randal

  4. And exactly why are they NOT swinging from the neck..?

  5. #1 fan

    Randal, I love you.

  6. ph7

    I still want to hate-fuck her.

  7. Superevil

    Kills these cocks.

  8. Photoshop Police

    ….. zuh ……!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    dammit you douchebags! stop ripping off the decemberists who are ripping off Steven Colbert!

  9. #6 – Which one? There’s two bitches there.

  10. Superbiggerevil

    Awwww, they must be in special ed.

  11. Fuck U

    Randal, I hate you…
    My sentiments exactly Richports’ Ghost!
    God, what douches…Thanks alot Fish you fag, what do these assholes pay you or something?
    Or is it that assholes love to stick together?

  12. p0nk

    damn you fish! On a friday you show me THIS?

  13. sam

    It would be nice to live for one day in Randal’s world where it is all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns.

    Spencer looks like he is ready to blow someone. And where are his franks and beans? They must be tiny, or non-existent.

  14. Sleazy

    Do they pay you to post for them? you say i hate them but continue to blanket your site with em.

  15. mike

    I hope the sling busted his nuts so these two can’t procreate!

  16. Ugh

    Why couldnt the wires somehow get entangled around both of their necks?

  17. truth

    I feel this site should be renamed Heidispencerficial . If its so hard to not post about them then obviously someone “fish” is
    obsesses with them. These people are wastes of space and I don’t have anymore respect for this site. If this is the best you can report on then superficial credibility is in the toilet along with Heidi’s faceand Spencer’s masculinity.

  18. Powerofpeace69

    pic 7 = RichPort adjusting his thermo-dick because it’s pinched in the strap.

  19. Powerofpeace69

    Oh, I meant rectal, thermo-dick.

  20. Racer X

    STOP POSTING THIS SHIT ALREADY. WHAT IS THIS MTV.COM?

  21. Rhialto

    Diet or not,i think it’s beertime.How about my sweetie?

  22. Darth

    The only thing what we learn here from this Spencer pic is that he’s probably small-dicked.

  23. Rhialto

    Isn’t Heidi Montag’s strap-on missing anything?

  24. LMAO@ chins Mc. Juggs. I dunno where this guy comes up with this stuff…

  25. LMAO@ chins Mc. Juggs. I dunno where this guy comes up with this stuff…

  26. anon

    Nice man-gina. What a douche!

  27. Matthew

    DAMN IT FISH STOP BREAKING YOUR PROMISE TO NOT SHOW MR AND MISS DOUCHE!

  28. Errol Flynn

    Can someone please tell me why these two are alive?

  29. Carolyn

    Two complete shitbirds. Randal too.

  30. Carolyn

    Two complete shitbirds. Randal too.

  31. Carolyn

    Two turds. Randal too.

  32. Rebecca

    How much does he look like David Hasselhoff in his Baywatch Days?!

  33. Fatty Arbuckle

    At least Heidi’s kind of cute (though she is a horse face), and doesn’t have a humongous, gross, fat, ugly, dimply ass like K.K. Why complain about Heidi stuff here but not about K.K. stuff when K.K. is so much grosser???

  34. AirMail56

    They seem like such a happy couple.

  35. mikeock

    See? It IS possible to pretend to fly AND suck cock at the same time. That’s a purdy mouth you got there boy.

  36. amanda

    flying douchebags of the apocalypse!

  37. nemesis

    #33 Because there’s a limit to what K.K. will do. Montag and Spncer would eat their own shit if they could get free publicity out of it – it just hasn’t occured to them yet.

  38. meme

    Hey Darth, I was thinking the same thing! I mean what the hell, does he have a tranny tuck going on?

  39. Kitty says

    #33 tbh I’d rather have a hot face like KK and a big gross butt than an unfixable horse face and a normal butt like HM. I don’t really care if Fish posts about Heidi anyway, I just can’t stand Spencer. NO MORE SPENCER

  40. these are the “SUICIDE BOMBERS” of america, folks?

  41. salawhite

    Recently I found a very hot club — SeekingTall . c o m — just for sexy tall gals and guys to find their cupid. Come on, tall singles. Don’t miss your love.

  42. uiyuy

    I hope they both die.

  43. Fatty Arbuckle

    Kitty, I second that: NO MORE SPENCER!

  44. FUCK U

    fish, u fucking rectal worm..don’t ever post these bitches again.

  45. Fatty Arbuckle

    #33, a limit to what K.K. would do??! Like taking a urine shower? And recording it on video?

  46. Steph

    Well it’s obvious that Spencer isn’t packing much, except for maybe a vagina. Unless his dick and balls are like a peanut and Vienna sausage.

  47. Newdawn

    Obviously the writer of the superficial is in love with heidi and that rat spencer. If you really hate them stop posting about them. He’s a fucking cunt.

  48. Newdawn23

    I would suck a horses dick, fuck a lama just to hear the following news, “this just in, on 4/25/09 at approximately 5pm, heidi and spencer where traveling northbound on the LA freeway when they were hit by a massive 18 wheeler, both died instantly, now to our regularly broadcast show”

  49. justifiable

    Apparently nobody’s paying whatever bloated amount they’re asking for the “exclusive” wedding pictures! Yay! Put your murder/suicide pact on Pay-Per-View, douchebags, that’s the only way you’ll ever get my $$.

  50. honey

    I just wanna say that none of ye know heidi and spencer personally , so i just cannot understand how people can say such horrible things. they are human beings and heidi is well able to stand up for herself. the hills is completely edited and lauren is also the voice over . next time you are watching , look at their glasses they are drinking from …..one minute they are full then empty then full again …..clearly the long paused stares are totally edited etc. i am so sick of people that are so cruel about them .YOU DO NOT KNOW THEM . you watch the hills which is edited , its just so mean the things that peole are saying.

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