Heidi & Spencer: America’s Punching Bag

- Heidi and Spencer shill themselves out in front of a green screen. Internet exploitation occurs. [Videogum]

- Robert Pattinson’s early made-for-TV movie days. Now I see how he was so prepared for Twilight. ZING! — I’ll be avoiding the Young Adult section of Borders from here on out. [ICYDK]

- Bridget Marquardt doesn’t like Hawaiian food. Old man balls, yes. Hawaiian food, no way. Makes sense. [Jezebel]

- Michael Phelps is NOT dating Miss California Carrie Prejean. But is willing to change that stance if she’ll agree Jesus would want her to have sex with him so he never smokes marijuana again. [Best Week Ever]

- Michael Jackson involved in a hit-and-run with an ambulance. But the important thing is, no one’s kids were touched. High five! [Allie is Wired]

- Rihanna starts new career as a speedboat driver/potential pirate. They’re so in right now. [PopSugar]

Photos: Flynet