Heidi & Spencer: America’s Punching Bag

April 24th, 2009 // 56 Comments

- Heidi and Spencer shill themselves out in front of a green screen. Internet exploitation occurs. [Videogum]

- Robert Pattinson’s early made-for-TV movie days. Now I see how he was so prepared for Twilight. ZING! — I’ll be avoiding the Young Adult section of Borders from here on out. [ICYDK]

- Bridget Marquardt doesn’t like Hawaiian food. Old man balls, yes. Hawaiian food, no way. Makes sense. [Jezebel]

- Michael Phelps is NOT dating Miss California Carrie Prejean. But is willing to change that stance if she’ll agree Jesus would want her to have sex with him so he never smokes marijuana again. [Best Week Ever]

- Michael Jackson involved in a hit-and-run with an ambulance. But the important thing is, no one’s kids were touched. High five! [Allie is Wired]

- Rihanna starts new career as a speedboat driver/potential pirate. They’re so in right now. [PopSugar]

Photos: Flynet
Bridget Marquardt
Bridget Marquardt on "The Girls Next Door" - © E! Entertainment
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Comments (56)

  1. first | April 24, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    first??

    Reply
  2. sirrix | April 24, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    Hey! Thanks for breaking the no Heidi/Spencer promise *once again!* Fag.

    Reply
  3. Randal | April 24, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    These pictures certainly speak volumes on how happy Heidi and Spencer are, just being young and having fun. Heidi, as always, creates beauty with her amazing smile while Spencer has the air of a gentleman about him.

    Looking forward to seeing the final product of the virtual shoot.

    Randal

    Reply
  4. RichPort's Ghost | April 24, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    And exactly why are they NOT swinging from the neck..?

    Reply
  5. #1 fan | April 24, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Randal, I love you.

    Reply
  6. ph7 | April 24, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    I still want to hate-fuck her.

    Reply
  7. Superevil | April 24, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    Kills these cocks.

    Reply
  8. Photoshop Police | April 24, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    ….. zuh ……!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    dammit you douchebags! stop ripping off the decemberists who are ripping off Steven Colbert!

    Reply
  9. RichPort's Ghost | April 24, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    #6 – Which one? There’s two bitches there.

    Reply
  10. Superbiggerevil | April 24, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Awwww, they must be in special ed.

    Reply
  11. Fuck U | April 24, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    Randal, I hate you…
    My sentiments exactly Richports’ Ghost!
    God, what douches…Thanks alot Fish you fag, what do these assholes pay you or something?
    Or is it that assholes love to stick together?

    Reply
  12. p0nk | April 24, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    damn you fish! On a friday you show me THIS?

    Reply
  13. sam | April 24, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    It would be nice to live for one day in Randal’s world where it is all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns.

    Spencer looks like he is ready to blow someone. And where are his franks and beans? They must be tiny, or non-existent.

    Reply
  14. Sleazy | April 24, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    Do they pay you to post for them? you say i hate them but continue to blanket your site with em.

    Reply
  15. mike | April 24, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    I hope the sling busted his nuts so these two can’t procreate!

    Reply
  16. Ugh | April 24, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    Why couldnt the wires somehow get entangled around both of their necks?

    Reply
  17. truth | April 24, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    I feel this site should be renamed Heidispencerficial . If its so hard to not post about them then obviously someone “fish” is
    obsesses with them. These people are wastes of space and I don’t have anymore respect for this site. If this is the best you can report on then superficial credibility is in the toilet along with Heidi’s faceand Spencer’s masculinity.

    Reply
  18. Powerofpeace69 | April 24, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    pic 7 = RichPort adjusting his thermo-dick because it’s pinched in the strap.

    Reply
  19. Powerofpeace69 | April 24, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Oh, I meant rectal, thermo-dick.

    Reply
  20. Racer X | April 24, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    STOP POSTING THIS SHIT ALREADY. WHAT IS THIS MTV.COM?

    Reply
  21. Rhialto | April 24, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    Diet or not,i think it’s beertime.How about my sweetie?

    Reply
  22. Darth | April 24, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    The only thing what we learn here from this Spencer pic is that he’s probably small-dicked.

    Reply
  23. Rhialto | April 24, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    Isn’t Heidi Montag’s strap-on missing anything?

    Reply
  24. Dianne | April 24, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    LMAO@ chins Mc. Juggs. I dunno where this guy comes up with this stuff…

    Reply
  25. Dianne | April 24, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    LMAO@ chins Mc. Juggs. I dunno where this guy comes up with this stuff…

    Reply
  26. anon | April 24, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    Nice man-gina. What a douche!

    Reply
  27. Matthew | April 24, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    DAMN IT FISH STOP BREAKING YOUR PROMISE TO NOT SHOW MR AND MISS DOUCHE!

    Reply
  28. Errol Flynn | April 24, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    Can someone please tell me why these two are alive?

    Reply
  29. Carolyn | April 24, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    Two complete shitbirds. Randal too.

    Reply
  30. Carolyn | April 24, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    Two complete shitbirds. Randal too.

    Reply
  31. Carolyn | April 24, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    Two turds. Randal too.

    Reply
  32. Rebecca | April 24, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    How much does he look like David Hasselhoff in his Baywatch Days?!

    Reply
  33. Fatty Arbuckle | April 24, 2009 at 7:05 pm

    At least Heidi’s kind of cute (though she is a horse face), and doesn’t have a humongous, gross, fat, ugly, dimply ass like K.K. Why complain about Heidi stuff here but not about K.K. stuff when K.K. is so much grosser???

    Reply
  34. AirMail56 | April 24, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    They seem like such a happy couple.

    Reply
  35. mikeock | April 24, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    See? It IS possible to pretend to fly AND suck cock at the same time. That’s a purdy mouth you got there boy.

    Reply
  36. amanda | April 24, 2009 at 9:19 pm

    flying douchebags of the apocalypse!

    Reply
  37. nemesis | April 24, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    #33 Because there’s a limit to what K.K. will do. Montag and Spncer would eat their own shit if they could get free publicity out of it – it just hasn’t occured to them yet.

    Reply
  38. meme | April 24, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    Hey Darth, I was thinking the same thing! I mean what the hell, does he have a tranny tuck going on?

    Reply
  39. Kitty says | April 25, 2009 at 12:14 am

    #33 tbh I’d rather have a hot face like KK and a big gross butt than an unfixable horse face and a normal butt like HM. I don’t really care if Fish posts about Heidi anyway, I just can’t stand Spencer. NO MORE SPENCER

    Reply
  40. gerard Vandenberg | April 25, 2009 at 12:55 am

    these are the “SUICIDE BOMBERS” of america, folks?

    Reply
  41. salawhite | April 25, 2009 at 3:08 am

    Recently I found a very hot club — SeekingTall . c o m — just for sexy tall gals and guys to find their cupid. Come on, tall singles. Don’t miss your love.

    Reply
  42. uiyuy | April 25, 2009 at 4:16 am

    I hope they both die.

    Reply
  43. Fatty Arbuckle | April 25, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    Kitty, I second that: NO MORE SPENCER!

    Reply
  44. FUCK U | April 25, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    fish, u fucking rectal worm..don’t ever post these bitches again.

    Reply
  45. Fatty Arbuckle | April 25, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    #33, a limit to what K.K. would do??! Like taking a urine shower? And recording it on video?

    Reply
  46. Steph | April 25, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    Well it’s obvious that Spencer isn’t packing much, except for maybe a vagina. Unless his dick and balls are like a peanut and Vienna sausage.

    Reply
  47. Newdawn | April 25, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Obviously the writer of the superficial is in love with heidi and that rat spencer. If you really hate them stop posting about them. He’s a fucking cunt.

    Reply
  48. Newdawn23 | April 25, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    I would suck a horses dick, fuck a lama just to hear the following news, “this just in, on 4/25/09 at approximately 5pm, heidi and spencer where traveling northbound on the LA freeway when they were hit by a massive 18 wheeler, both died instantly, now to our regularly broadcast show”

    Reply
  49. justifiable | April 25, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    Apparently nobody’s paying whatever bloated amount they’re asking for the “exclusive” wedding pictures! Yay! Put your murder/suicide pact on Pay-Per-View, douchebags, that’s the only way you’ll ever get my $$.

    Reply
  50. honey | April 25, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    I just wanna say that none of ye know heidi and spencer personally , so i just cannot understand how people can say such horrible things. they are human beings and heidi is well able to stand up for herself. the hills is completely edited and lauren is also the voice over . next time you are watching , look at their glasses they are drinking from …..one minute they are full then empty then full again …..clearly the long paused stares are totally edited etc. i am so sick of people that are so cruel about them .YOU DO NOT KNOW THEM . you watch the hills which is edited , its just so mean the things that peole are saying.

    Reply

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