Heidi Montag’s video debuts big on iTunes

February 13th, 2008 // 132 Comments

Somehow Heidi Montag’s video “Higher” reached No. 7 on the iTunes Top 100. It’s official. The terrorists have won. In the meantime, Heidi had initially said she was thrilled people commented on the video but in reality she drowned her fake breasts in tears. Us Magazine reports:

“I just started sobbing uncontrollably,” The Hills star tells Us.
“I cried myself to sleep that first night after my video came out,” she says. “I just couldn’t understand why people I didn’t even know felt the need to be so cruel and hurtful toward me.”
“I am just a 21-year-old from a small town in Colorado trying to follow her dreams,” Montag says.

Heidi also revealed the technical prowess employed by the video’s director Spencer Pratt:

“We were at the beach and, literally, Spencer had his camera and a boom box in the trunk,” Montag recalls of the amateur shoot in October. “We did it in one take, maybe two, and it took us 20 minutes to film and cost us zero dollars.”

A boom box was involved? Whoa! That changes everything. Here I thought some ass-clown just videotaped his tone-deaf girlfriend rolling around the beach in a bikini. But all this time advanced boom box technology was being used. Spencer Pratt, I underestimated you. Please show up to my house to receive my well-earned respect.*

*Respect subject to change and may be substituted for a brick in the face. Brick subject to be on fire.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. Racer X

    America is REALLY turning into the movie Idiocracy.

    /Idiots buy iTunes when you can get music for free (P2P).
    //While there are many talented musicians out there struggling for a break this slore gets a record deal.

  2. Anonymous

    Monkey Man,

    You’re my new hero. Thank you for that post.

  3. ph7

    C’mon – who wouldn’t do her?

  4. La Frascatana

    The girl in the parody video scares me more than Heidi. It looks like Tom Cruise living out his most treasured fantasy.

    At least Heidi gives me a boner. I mean, there’s no denying that even with all the plastic surgery she’s got something ( and not just chlamydia ).

    Heidi 1, Parody O.

  5. meghan

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha awesome

  6. Alfonso Rigid

    Even Rocky had a Montag.

  7. Matt

    She looks way too much like Chris Crocker with implants.

  8. Todd

    I should have sold that sex tape of her when it was worth something. Might as well record over it now that she’s gone and done this.

  9. ixxy

    No fucken intelligence in her head what so ever.

  10. moobs

    jsut because you want to “follow your dreams” doesn’t mean you should be perverting the rest of our time with it.

    your dream is obviously just to be an attention whore, real MUSICIANS with dreams usually try to pay dues (put in work) BEFORE being famous.

    so.. as a musician, i wouldn’t even bother listening to your crap, or watching your shiteos.

  11. DIABOLIQ

    Pay Attention !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HORSE FACE……………………………TROJAN HORSE

  12. lindsey

    you guys…that’s not her. It’s a parody and it’s hilarious.

  13. Damn, Heidi’s boob job is already sagging. She’s going to have to get them re-done every year.

    By the way, I’ve seen her craptastic “video” and not only does that girl have no talent, she is just too awkward to watch. Chick in bikini rolling around on the beach + crappy song + mad jazz hands…This is Heidi Montag, ladies and gentlemen…

  14. AliCat

    Nothing like a good running man.

  15. goto

    She’s hot. BTW, is she unhappy? I seem to see her blog with a great profile on a celebrity dating site. It seems called Richkiss.com. I’m not sure if it is her or not. Her nickname is alasxxx there.

  16. jenica sorenson

    parody video > real video

    also, parody video girl is just as attractive as (more attractive than?) heidi montag

  17. Pixie

    LMFAO I thought the girl in the parody was MUUUUUCH better looking than horse face Heidi. Plus she was funny as hell. I loved the legs in the air/flexed feet move, haahah reminded me of a pap smear exam hahah. Plus the robot/roger rabbit/cotton eyed joe dance combo 2:14-2:17 had me ROTFL!!

  18. dabusabus

    While we can all criticize her plasticity, and believe me, there’s a lot to criticize and I have loads of free time to do it…I gotta bring up the fact that this girl’s voice has been autotuned to the nth degree. That’s not a vocal “effect” on her voice, it’s pitch correction. And so to add to her fake boobage and lippage and schnozz, she’s got the fakest voice I’ve heard in a long time. I mean, even Britney isn’t as autotuned as this chick and you’d think she’d be too bonkers to hold a tune.

  19. allyrising

    It would make me extremely happy if this fugly bitch would just die already.

  20. JaneSays

    I’m waiting for the Weird Al version of the original. Although, the camera work in the parody above is better than that in the real one…..

  21. Ript1&0

    It’s true. This kind of mediocre, lowest common denominator shit is the downfall, culturally and creatively, of our society. Luckily there are people left who refuse to participate in this weak shit. (That would be me).

    Although, I must admit, I haven’t actual had enough interest to watch the video. But then again, I haven’t had enough interest to watch this girl (child) on TV either. I am aware that she is on a show, I can’t escape that. But until I get REAL fucking talent and passion in my entertainment, I’m not listening.

    I don’t think it’s too much to ask. There are plenty of incredibly gifted people who can give us better than this. Don’t you want better?! Who’s with me?

  22. Dick Richards

    Ript, where the fuck have you been?!

  23. JR

    The only good thing that mouth is for is……..sucking my ass.

  24. kimmy

    lol her and spencer prolly bought all of the videos sold

  25. Martian

    WOW!!!
    why is he wearing that blond wig,
    my left nut has more talent than that hoe
    btw
    my left nut is a natural blond

  26. Hey, I’m making a Valentine’s Day dinner tomorrow. Somebody tell me what the hell a shallot is?

  27. I’ll drown those fake tits in jizz. They’re sure as hell built for it.

  28. #76 Shallots are like an onion. They are small and reddish brown and way sweeter than regular onions, and I think they are imported from France or something. They cost a little more, but they make wonderful sauces, so totally worth it.

    So…what time is dinner?

  29. Anal Fistula

    vapid cunt. not even worth a donkey punch. the addition of my semen to her body would raise her IQ by 20-30 points…

  30. 23apples

    “I just couldn’t understand why people I didn’t even know felt the need to be so cruel and hurtful toward me.”

    I can help you, Heidi! Check out this one show… it’s called “The Hills”! There’s this one no-talent whore on it who is a bitch to all her friends, gets a ton of shitty plastic surgery that makes her face even worse, and gets engaged to this huge douche-bag loser……. waaaaait a minute… that’s YOU, isn’t it!?!?

    Also, you DIDN’T know them? So can assume from your statement that you know all of these haters now? Your so popular!!!

  31. Pikachelsea

    That parody video is so funny… perfectly captured her vapid, forced frolicking. And also demonstrates that her body isn’t that special; the girl in the parody vid looks just as good as Heidi, or better, as far as I’m concerned.

  32. Chelle

    People felt the need to say those things because you are an UNGRATEFUL BITCH!

  33. PCB's

    “I am just a 21-year-old from a small town in Colorado trying to follow her dreams,”

    With a team of lawyers on stand by of course.

  34. whistle

    Heidi: “we did it in one take, maybe two”

    Which is it? One take or two? Maybe two? Was this filmed recently or in the so distant past you can’t remember whether or not you did more than one take? With all the edits, I would assume more than 1 take (unless this is the radio edit and the song is much, much longer). You really don’t know for sure? Wait, I just remembered who I am talking to…

  35. Anon

    #71:

    You are awesome. I’m not even going to bother expanding on that.

  36. Ript1&0

    #85:

    You are also awesome, for thinking I am awesome. No need for extra words, that pretty much sums it up. (Thanks!)

    DR, I’m still here for you honey, just tons of shit going on in the background. Did you write? I will check…

  37. A. Sanderson

    hrm, is this a parody? didnt see much of a difference

  38. lili

    i still think she looks like a horse.

  39. The Office Whore

    Morning all!!

    Dose of Brit anyone?

    She secretly got married to adnanananananan photoman!! woo hoo!

    FRIST!!! Break into someones house and watch this farking video. It’s wonderfully terrible..

  40. fergernauster

    This Heidi…”thing”… is merely cookie-cutter.

    But besides the fakery involved in her “beauty”, my main concern rests with the fact that her shoulders are far too narrow for her ginormous, braying beast-head.

    She now needs shoulder-blade lengthening surgery.

  41. fergernauster

    Good morning to you as well, O.H.!

    Wow… Shitney married Gulab Jamun?

    Awesome.

    I love this site.

  42. Plato

    Heidi Montag is the best! What a happy, Janet Jacksonesque song. Reminds me of “Love Will Never Do Without You.” Spencer’s camera work is good for a layperson’s, and Heidi is so freaking hot, like when you take your head-turning date for karaoke and she ends up singing to you and while she doesn’t shock you with her professional-quality singing, she shocks you with how much sexy love she has for you… Oh, wait! None of you losers know what I am talking about. Your homw watching “the hills” while I’m getting blown by girls like Heidi. Drunk on haterade, you all complain about her huge hands because you have small cocks. I would take her “higher” that’s for sure. She’s hot and out chasing her dreams. What are you guys doing? Here is a girl who finally feels really beautiful (she always was anyway) coming out and celebrating it because she can finally FEEL IT and you all just hate it because you hate yourselves and don’t have what it takes to come into your own.

  43. toolboy

    #71
    you hit my sweet spot with that post. Bless you.

  44. abcde

    Wow, that really is terrible!

  45. Auntie Kryst

    @92 Nice try Heidi, we’re on to you. You are talentless and completely empty on the inside. If you are actually a guy, no man that remembers Janet Jackson songs is getting blown by any woman. Get back in the bathouse Plato…”Plato”, hell that says it all there doesn’t it? Puckerup buttercup.

  46. DingoAteMyBaby

    #92 “She’s hot and out chasing her dreams. What are you guys doing? ”

    Well not typing up a retarded 2000 word post defending Hiedi Montag for one.

  47. pron

    We’ll care (maybe) when she finally enters the pron industry.

    Who’s with me?

  48. vtx

    I can’t understand what this hollywood hype is all about with the platypus/duck beak looking lips… that shit looks ridiculous. If you have a hair line, close to non existent upper lip, don’t blow it up to where it’s two times bigger than your bottom lip. That just looks stupid. Wow… with all of the plastic surgery she’s enduring, she’ll be headed down the MJ path in no time. Be careful, girl… your nose might end up falling off when you’re 25… possibly before.

  49. Veroonica

    Wow. At first I thought that was a movie trailer for “The Miracle Worker II: Helen Hits The Beach”!

  50. jo angela

    ANOTHER HOLLYWOOD D LISTER GIVEN THEIR 15 MINUTES OF FAME
    SHE NEEDS TO LAY OFF THE PLASTIC SURGERY
    FAKE BOOKS AND DUCKS LIPS DON’T GO WELL ON HER
    THE ONLY REASON ANYONE LOOKS IS BECAUSE OF THE BOOBS.

    JUST GO AWAY ALREADY

    OH AND I SERIOUSLY THINK THAT WAS 5 MINUTES OF MY LIFE I’LL NEVER GET BACK WATCHING HER STUPID HOME VIDEO OF HER SONG.
    SHE SOUNDS LIKE A CHIPMUNK
    SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE PORN INSTEAD

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