Heidi Montag’s Transformers 3 Audition

Heidi Montag slapped together an audition tape for Michael Bay (after the jump) that’s literally nothing more than her firing guns at the shooting range while Spencer films it on an iPhone. I don’t even know where to begin with how retarded this approach is, so I’m just going to start listing things off the top of my head:

1. Nobody’s washing a Ferrari in a bikini.
2. Or a Lamborghini.
3. Michael Bay’s food is cleavage and you just made him die of starvation.
4. Shooting guns is for boys.
5. Heidi speaks.

Hopefully Heidi took notes except that’s a trick question because women aren’t allowed to write in Michael Bay movies. Though once I saw one read the numbers on a cell phone which I’m chalking up to a typo in the script.

2ND UNIT: Michael, it says here she “reads” the number on the phone.
MICHAEL: What? Let me see that. *reads* That’s the most inconceivable thing I’ve ever heard! Change it to Optimus Prime accidentally punches through the wall of the ladies room and she’s sitting on the can with her pants down.

Photo: WireImage