Heidi Montag’s Transformers 3 Audition

May 26th, 2010 // 83 Comments

Heidi Montag slapped together an audition tape for Michael Bay (after the jump) that’s literally nothing more than her firing guns at the shooting range while Spencer films it on an iPhone. I don’t even know where to begin with how retarded this approach is, so I’m just going to start listing things off the top of my head:

1. Nobody’s washing a Ferrari in a bikini.
2. Or a Lamborghini.
3. Michael Bay’s food is cleavage and you just made him die of starvation.
4. Shooting guns is for boys.
5. Heidi speaks.

Hopefully Heidi took notes except that’s a trick question because women aren’t allowed to write in Michael Bay movies. Though once I saw one read the numbers on a cell phone which I’m chalking up to a typo in the script.

2ND UNIT: Michael, it says here she “reads” the number on the phone.
MICHAEL: What? Let me see that. *reads* That’s the most inconceivable thing I’ve ever heard! Change it to Optimus Prime accidentally punches through the wall of the ladies room and she’s sitting on the can with her pants down.

Photo: WireImage
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  1. Ripper Owens

    That was the worst thing that I have ever seen. If she gets casted, I wont pay a single cent to see it.

  2. arealcad

    maybe she can appear on girlsandguns.com

  3. Kuro

    With all that plastic surgery, can she even run in the movie without falling into pieces? Look at her face, it all swallen up.

  4. Heidi — yes, bigger boobs, please. If you go bigger, they’ll look real, trust me.

    Outstanding “acting” job — I see an Oscar for you next year.

  5. SO RIGHT

    Hilarious video! ha ha hah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah! OMG. Also, where are Heidi’s eyebrows?

  6. Bunny

    Hey guys….. it’s fairly well known in Hollywood that Spencer obsessively peruses sites like this for feedback on Heidi. And yeah I agree with #61 Johnny Cash, I think he writes comments.

    Heidi is montrously ugly and stupid Spencer and it’s all your fault. Hopefully her family will find some way to get her and her ridiculous tits away from your Svengali like influence. OH… and I think you have a little dick.

    Sincerely,
    Bunny

  7. Rasputins Liver

    *

    Uh…..er…….um……huh….

    *

    ….she and that gizmoid husband of hers think this is a worthy entry as an audition?!?

    *

    Man, talk about delusional.

    *

  8. Samantha

    I’ve never actually seen a Transformers movie, but wouldn’t guns not be an affective way to disarm a massive robot?

  9. e

    i thought she was dead?

  10. Lauren

    wait wait wait- there is NO way she is THIS fucken stupid.

    PLEASE tell me that under the idiocy, she is just taking us all for a ride..

  11. JP

    I FIGURED IT OUT! This isnt an audition tape. It’s a death threat. She is threatening to kill Michael Bay if he doesnt put Spencer opposite his favorite rapper of all time Will Smith in Bad Boys 3. Clever girl.

  12. Cookie

    What, she’s not auditioning for Barbie?

  13. l

    Hideous, just hideous. She ruined her face, looks like a Tory Spelling wanna-be. Her body is hot, but what a toll.

  14. Do guys really find that attractive? Looks so unnatural!

  15. Jake

    I submit that she is actually talented and has a place on TV. Did you watch the Hills this week? That show sucks and blows without her.

  16. Kurgen99

    Actually, she’s not bad.

  17. slappy magoo

    What I found more amusing than her audition were the comments from people about her being so close to her targets. I mean we ARE talking about “Transporter 3″ after all (nyuck); even IF she were hired (she won’t be) and IF she had to shoot at something (moot point, but she wouldn’t), Michael Bay would just CGI the crap wherever she was aiming. She could point the gun at her head and he’d paint a tiny evil motor scooter in-between her face and her weapon. I don’t know why she bothered aiming at targets in the first place, running in slow motion, washing a car in slow motion, pouting in slow motion and stretching in slow motion is about as much as she’d need to do for an audition.

  18. Nero

    Yikes! That.face.

  19. Master Spook

    She’s very beatiful.

  20. HRH Adam

    If Heidi Montag is cast in Transformers 3 in a role as prominent as Megan Fox’s in parts 1 and 2, I will give each person who has already post a comment on this thread 1 million. That is a total of 69 million. If I can be THAT sure enough that over 2/3rds of my fortune is safe and won’t have to be given out, why can’t Heidi Montag see the same reality, that it isn’t going to happen? Isn’t she embarrassed at this point? Her level of disconnect from reality is startling.

  21. kelly

    god she’s so fuckin gayyyyy i can’t even handle it.

  22. Michelle

    She’s a JOKE. Nobody is going to take her seriously, EVER.

    LOL!!! Poor little idiot xDDD

  23. OMG……………….

  24. JollyJumJuck

    Aw hell. I clicked “View picture at full size” and her tits cracked the edges of my monitor!

  25. SB

    its so bad and awkward to watch. so hideous. those two are more pathetic than Tila Tequila- and that’s pretty tough to do!

  26. hahahaha

    hahahahahahahahahaha!! she holds up her arms like an amateur. guarantee you she didn’t even hit half of those targets. hahahahahahahahaha!!! and hahahahahahahaha! did they do plastic surgery on her BRAIN too?

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  28. just jack

    BUTTERFACE

  29. she very beautiful .. your bobs are hot and sexy….

  30. courtney

    She truly amazes me.

  31. nice body and sexy body

  32. otown2k10
    Commented on this photo:

    More than meets the eye!

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