Heidi Montag’s Transformers 3 Audition

May 26th, 2010 // 83 Comments

Heidi Montag slapped together an audition tape for Michael Bay (after the jump) that’s literally nothing more than her firing guns at the shooting range while Spencer films it on an iPhone. I don’t even know where to begin with how retarded this approach is, so I’m just going to start listing things off the top of my head:

1. Nobody’s washing a Ferrari in a bikini.
2. Or a Lamborghini.
3. Michael Bay’s food is cleavage and you just made him die of starvation.
4. Shooting guns is for boys.
5. Heidi speaks.

Hopefully Heidi took notes except that’s a trick question because women aren’t allowed to write in Michael Bay movies. Though once I saw one read the numbers on a cell phone which I’m chalking up to a typo in the script.

2ND UNIT: Michael, it says here she “reads” the number on the phone.
MICHAEL: What? Let me see that. *reads* That’s the most inconceivable thing I’ve ever heard! Change it to Optimus Prime accidentally punches through the wall of the ladies room and she’s sitting on the can with her pants down.

Photo: WireImage
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  1. hotlipz

    retards should not be allowed to handle guns

  2. al

    she looks average

  3. Tad Bit Tipsy

    Damn this can’t be Heidi, her tits would’ve been too much in the way for her to run and shoot like that.

  4. Drundel

    Finger movement looks good, lowering the gun while moving. Not bad. I was actually kinda impressed she pulled that off.

    Are we sure that’s really Heidi?

  5. Heidi sucks

    lol, the guy at the beginning of the video called it “Transporter 3″. Great attention to detail.

  6. I kinda feel for her. Besides, she should know to get on the art known as ‘eyebrow game’,

  7. king awesome1982

    wow, boring AND slow…how could she not get the part?

  8. scrub

    Bigger boobs, bigger lips, and a tighter face would be the way to go for her; think Jocelyn Wildenstein meets Chesty Morgan and multiply that by at least a hundred; that would be awesome!

  9. Dude

    That chick has an amazing boobs they’re ginormus

  10. The Coffin Dancer

    Anyone can hit a fucking target from three feet away. Is this supposed to be impressive somehow?

  11. Nicole

    What the hell was that? Maybe a funny or die spoof.. not an audition! She might pop a boob. Someone ought to tell her the truth.. She sucks balls.

  12. Nicole

    What the hell was that? Maybe a funny or die spoof.. not an audition! She might pop a boob. Someone ought to tell her the truth.. She sucks balls.

  13. bar room hero

    Trans – FORMERS

    not

    Trans – SEXUALS

  14. she's an idiot

    Heidi should only show off her tits; it’s where her singular talent lies…

  15. kingofbeer

    too fat imo. also I hear she’s a hoarder. gross.

  16. she needs at least another 50-75 thou in plastic surgery to be considered for big time roles

  17. “Anyone can hit a fucking target from three feet away.”

    LOL! It’s so true!

    Also, since when did the last chick ever need to shoot a gun in those two movies? She just stood around and posed in slow mo mostly.

  18. KumaTenshi

    Oh good, she can hit targets from 5 FEET AWAY!!!

    HIRE HER NOW!!!!

  19. Joe doe

    Seriously. How low will this chick go for fame? It is only a matter of time before a sex tape comes out, what else does she have left? What a joke

  20. i bet she has massive beef curtains dried up and hanging down out of her skinny mound like mud flaps on a pickup truck

  21. OJ's Mom

    Wait, what the fuck did I just watch???

  22. OJ's Mom

    Wait, what the fuck did I just watch???

  23. she is very sexy and beautiful

  24. Mobot

    I love her.

  25. thyme

    she is way to Big to be in movies… go on a diet

  26. What are you guys watching? Heidi is “too fat”?? :)

  27. seniah

    I am so extremely uncomfortable watching this. Embarrassing.

  28. applecrate

    She would be a logical replacement for whats-her-name.

  29. Evil

    Ummm, the humans don’t really shoot anything in transformers, did she even see the movies…. wait, those movies sucked… nevermind

  30. Think Jocelyn Wildenstein replied Chesty Morgan and passages, with at least a hundred, it would be great!

  31. Oh please, Heidi has no credibility in Hollywood. She and Spencer are a joke. There fun to watch them embarass themselves on stupid reality shows, interviews and the internet, but big time Hollywood roles should be left to the truly talented. If Mr. Bay hired Heidi for Transformers, the movie would be so commercialized. MR. BAY, HIRE A HOTT, BIG BOOBED CHICK THAT HASN’T RUINED HER NAME FOR HERSELF IN HOLLYWOOD (YET)! I would boycott the film if “Montag” was associated with it. Ya Spenc, anything you touch I don’t want any part of! And I’m sure I speak for the masses when I say this!

  32. bitch PLEASE

    Hey Heidi…..BITCH PLEASE!!!!!

  33. captain america

    sorry “WISDOM” isn’t involved!!

  34. Al

    Guzongas

  35. phifli

    She looks like a tranny, and her face looks like a muppet.

    Any guy who thinks she is hot has some issues (may not have decided which team to play for perhaps…or just likes plastic trannys idk)

  36. juaquin ingles

    Hahahahaha that was great!

  37. Carlos Spicy Weiner

    So who’s she gonna shoot? Optimus Prime? Good luck with that!

  38. sosexy

    She is so fucking hot. And I think she should be given a chance to prove herself as a real actress. I LOVE HEIDI!

  39. Uhm, I guess her tits are the transformers :D

  40. Nameless

    Way too much prep work for her considering Megan Fox auditioned by washing his Ferrari. Besides her monkey named Spencer and his crystal will also have to be allowed on set.

  41. master

    I thought she claimed that she can no longer jog with those huge boobs of hers after the surgery. Does she not know thats what megan fox did for the whole entire movie?

  42. ROUGH appeal

    Well! There goes substance with Nicky Blondsky. I’m SOLD on the above pic alone..

    Bay should reconsider, can MF or the new chick, display their gunz like Heidi can? I don’t think so…

  43. Al

    This is such an unfortunate video. First, there is no gunplay on the Transformer series and second there is no severely learning forward while in position to shoot.

    Montag looks amazing after the surgery, needs a breast reduction, is very young and continues to make career errors. She needs a real manager and life coach to get her out of this bad PR circle. Hopefully in a few years she won’t be considered an industry joke.

  44. billabong021

    1. who the fuck uses hand guns in Transformers? They’re giant robots!

    2. any fucknut can shoot a target at point blank range!

  45. This could be a joke (probably not). Heidi Montag has no idea what Michael Bay is looking for an actress

  46. tisha

    come on guys…. if this was heidi she would be in a bikini…. even heidi knows that’s the only way to get people to glance in her direction for more than 2.4 seconds……..

  47. Jonny cash

    Spencer clearly writes comments on this site …..
    shes a joke

  48. Wow! She looks great!

  49. OLD GREEEEGG

    She’s going to end up shooting either herself or Spencer.

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